Believe in Gosh

Seth
Mar 22, 2013 at 6:13 PM
1 Year Ago
Comments

Believe in Gosh



That's right. Besides that, if you don't believe in Gosh, where do you get your morals? 

Only Gosh can come from nothing, so who made everything in the Universe? 

I don't need proof of Gosh, I can just feel It exists in my heart. 

Don't burden yourself with all that thinking and just have faith in Gosh. 

Evolution is a lie from the pits of Heck. 

Goshdidit. 

I don't know how stuff works and I'm too lazy or willfully ignorant to use Google, therefore Gosh. 

It's so arrogant to not believe in Gosh just because there isn't a shred of evidence Gosh exists. 

You can't prove Gosh doesn't exist.

You just want to be Gosh yourself. 

You just want to rebel against Gosh and have orgies and get high. 

You must not believe in Gosh out of ignorance, so here... let me tell you the good news about Gosh Jr. for the 948,287,873,297,635,834th time. 

Hitler!

Gosh believes in you even if you don't believe in Gosh. 

Gosh thinks I'm extra super hyper special so It chose to show up on my toast and not yours and convince me of Its existence so I pity you. 

Gosh said people with blue eyes are immoral so I hate them. And yeah, that's one of the few parts of our holy book I actually bother with because it's a great excuse to say horrible things about my fellow human beings, and now I demand you respect my bigoted beliefs or you'll hurt my feelings. 

YOU'RE OPPRESSING AND PERSECUTING ME BY NOT ALLOWING ME TO TEACH MY RELIGION AS SCIENCE IN PUBLIC SCHOOLS AND TRAMPLE YOUR RIGHTS IN THE NAME OF GOSH!

This is a Gosh-fearing country and if you don't like it get out. 

Not believing in Gosh is a religion, and it requires just as much faith as we need to believe in Gosh. 

I pity you for not knowing the love of Gosh. 

 

When you're in a plane about to crash, then you'll pray to Gosh to save you.

For Gosh so loved the world he knocked up a young girl with himself so she gave birth to him to be killed in a bloody human sacrifice of the sort for which we consider the Aztecs barbaric to himself as a loophole for rules he created so that all who believe in Gosh Jr. (who is also Gosh) shall not perish and will live when they're dead in Disneyland in the Sky for Grown Ups. And you're going to be darned to Heck and spend eternity stepping on Lego blocks!

The tides go in, the tides go out, therefore Gosh. 

- Meg

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