Alex Jones...and an apology to the rest of the world
To the BBC, the United Kingdom, and for that matter, the Rest Of The Planet:
The United States would like to apologize for his recent outbust on the BBC Sunday Politics show.
We've tried to keep Alex Jones inside the fence, as he is rabid. Only a few days ago, he asserted that the U.S. government was launching tornadoes ("weather weapons") against us, this assertion being the latest in a long string of nonsensical ramblings.
We know the situation is serious. We know the infection is probably beyond a cure. We just didn't have the heart to put him down, although his midnight howling and constant frothing given us cause to occasionally reconsider.
We're sorry he escaped Alex Jonestown and trespassed onto your property. As quarantine may not be practical, if he should appear again on your land, we suggest you repeatedly say these words...in this specific order:
Bible. New World Order. False Flag. God. Illuminati. Nazis. Gay Agenda. Obama. Aliens. Staged terror attack. World War Three. World War Three. World War Three. Destruct.
He should immediately burst into flames.