If You Believe The Bible...You Also Must Believe...

Seth
Jun 27, 2009 at 8:18 AM
2 Years Ago
Comments

The Bible Makes Harry Potter Look Like Wikipedia

If you believe the Holy Bible is absolutely, perfectly accurate and infallible:
You also believe in dragons. Yes, the authors of scripture speak about dragons as real creatures. 
(Deuteronomy 32:33, Job 30:29, Psalm 74:13, Isaiah 27:1, Jeremiah 9:11, Micah 1:8)
You believe in the Satyr, a creature of Greek mythology. It is a man with a goat’s legs, ears and horns. (Isaiah 13:21, Isaiah 34:34)
You believe in the gigantic sea monster known as a Leviathan. (Job 3:8, Job 41, Psalm 74:14, Psalm 104:24-26, Isaiah 27:1)
Ironically, ancient Rabbinic studies say that God created two Leviathans on the fifth day of creation (Yalkut, Gen. 12), then had to kill the female to keep the pair from spawning and killing everything on the earth. (Rashi’s Commentary on Talmud Baba Bathra 74b)
You believe in unicorns, referenced no less than 8 times in the bible. (Numbers 23:22, Numbers 24:8, Deuteronomy 33:17, Job 39:9-10, Psalm 22:21, Psalm 29:6, Psalm 92:10, Isaiah 34:7)
You believe in the Cockatrice, a serpent hatched from a rooster’s egg that can kill with a glance. (Jeremiah 8:17, Isaiah 11:8, Isaiah 59:5, Isaiah 14: 29)
You believe the earth is flat. The authors of scripture constantly reference the “four corners of the earth,” as if the world is a level plane. In fact, Daniel 4:11 speaks of a vision of a tree growing so tall, it touched the sky, making visible the “ends of the earth. Job 38:13 talks of the world being shaken “by the edges.” (Isaiah 11:12, Jeremiah 16:19, Revelation 7:1)
You also believe that the entire (flat) earth can be seen from “an exceeding high mountain,” as when Satan tempted Jesus in Matthew 4 by showing him “all the kingdoms of the world.”
You believe that the earth doesn’t rotate around the sun. It is “fixed” and “immovable.” (1 Chronicles 16:30, Psalm 93:1, Psalm 96:10, Psalm 104:5, Isaiah 45:18)
You believe in giants. (Genesis 6:4)
You believe in witches and sorcery. (Exodus 22:18, Deuteronomy 18:9-14, 2 Chronicles 33:6, Galatians 5:19-21)
You believe that stars (huge suns) can “fall unto the earth.” (Revelation 6:12-14)
You believe that insects like the grasshopper, locust and cricket have FOUR legs, not six. (Leviticus 11:20-23)
The most ironic thing? You probably didn’t even know you believed in these things…until this moment. 
Like our Congressmen who pass legislation without reading or understanding the text of the bills, everyday Christians construct their belief systems on a bible they’ve merely glanced through. 
It’s perfect. It’s infallible. It’s divine. It’s irrefutable. And there are unicorns in it.
Just something to think about.
-Ed

If you believe the Holy Bible is absolutely, perfectly accurate and infallible:

  • You also believe in dragons. Yes, the authors of scripture speak about dragons as real creatures. 
  • (Deuteronomy 32:33, Job 30:29, Psalm 74:13, Isaiah 27:1, Jeremiah 9:11, Micah 1:8)
  • You believe in the Satyr, a creature of Greek mythology. It is a man with a goat’s legs, ears and horns. (Isaiah 13:21, Isaiah 34:34)
  • You believe in the gigantic sea monster known as a Leviathan. (Job 3:8, Job 41, Psalm 74:14, Psalm 104:24-26, Isaiah 27:1)

Ironically, ancient Rabbinic studies say that God created two Leviathans on the fifth day of creation (Yalkut, Gen. 12), then had to kill the female to keep the pair from spawning and killing everything on the earth. (Rashi’s Commentary on Talmud Baba Bathra 74b)

  • You believe in unicorns, referenced no less than 8 times in the bible. (Numbers 23:22, Numbers 24:8, Deuteronomy 33:17, Job 39:9-10, Psalm 22:21, Psalm 29:6, Psalm 92:10, Isaiah 34:7)
  • You believe in the Cockatrice, a serpent hatched from a rooster’s egg that can kill with a glance. (Jeremiah 8:17, Isaiah 11:8, Isaiah 59:5, Isaiah 14: 29)
  • You believe the earth is flat. The authors of scripture constantly reference the “four corners of the earth,” as if the world is a level plane. In fact, Daniel 4:11 speaks of a vision of a tree growing so tall, it touched the sky, making visible the “ends of the earth. Job 38:13 talks of the world being shaken “by the edges.” (Isaiah 11:12, Jeremiah 16:19, Revelation 7:1)

You also believe that the entire (flat) earth can be seen from “an exceeding high mountain,” as when Satan tempted Jesus in Matthew 4 by showing him “all the kingdoms of the world.”

  • You believe that the earth doesn’t rotate around the sun. It is “fixed” and “immovable.” (1 Chronicles 16:30, Psalm 93:1, Psalm 96:10, Psalm 104:5, Isaiah 45:18)
  • You believe in giants. (Genesis 6:4)
  • You believe in witches and sorcery. (Exodus 22:18, Deuteronomy 18:9-14, 2 Chronicles 33:6, Galatians 5:19-21)
  • You believe that stars (huge suns) can “fall unto the earth.” (Revelation 6:12-14)
  • You believe that insects like the grasshopper, locust and cricket have FOUR legs, not six. (Leviticus 11:20-23)

The most ironic thing? You probably didn’t even know you believed in these things…until this moment. 

Like our Congressmen who pass legislation without reading or understanding the text of the bills, everyday Christians construct their belief systems on a bible they’ve merely glanced through. 

It’s perfect. It’s infallible. It’s divine. It’s irrefutable. And there are unicorns in it.

Just something to think about.

-Seth

 

 

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