“Mixed Marriages”—Can they work?
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29-08-2011, 10:09 PM
 
RE: “Mixed Marriages”—Can they work?
In my case, as an Muslim apostate, I actually prefer a mix marriage over marrying another Muslim... Of course I would prefer marrying an atheist. But that's not the topic of the discussion.

The reason for this is because if I were to marry a Muslim, I would have to hide the fact that I am actually atheist, and because of this a Muslim spouse would naturally assume that I have similar understandings of Islam. Even if I was not an atheist but merely a non-religious Muslim, the case would be the same, and this would be very conflicting. But if I were to marry someone of another faith, regardless whether I hide my atheism or not, she would presume different understanding, and it is more likely that the relationship is built upon the differences.

(29-08-2011 06:40 PM)Araktsu Wrote:  It did not seem to bother Charles Darwin; his wife was religious.
I'm not saying that the rest of your post is wrong, but this part is wrong, I have to correct.
It was only after his marriage where he said "an Agnostic would be the more correct description of my state of mind." And this was due to his realisation by the end of his Beagle voyage that species were not designed. At the beginning he remained orthodox, looking for evidence of creation, although all this was before his marriage. His "agnostism" did somewhat cause conflict in his marriage. But nevertheless love was stronger.

(29-08-2011 06:40 PM)Araktsu Wrote:  If one is to just reject every religious person solely because they have acquired some delusional belief, usually by socialization beyond their control when they were young, then one would potentially reject most human beings. There are also plenty of people who have acquired non-religious but nevertheless delusional beliefs. Nationalism, for example; racism; as well as a variety of economic theories, psychiatric theories (e.g., Freud), and misconceptions as to how nature works at some level or another.

Should one just reject these people because they are mistaken or ignorant? I don't think that would be a good thing for world society or family relationships, either.

You cannot just make social problems go away by rejecting other people. They can reject you, too. Such attics are no better than appeals to emotion and antisocial peer pressure.
I like this point! A really good point.
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29-08-2011, 10:49 PM
RE: “Mixed Marriages”—Can they work?
A point that I thought was obvious apparently needs clarification:

The question is not about friendship or social acceptance. That's a totally different kettle of fish. No one is questioning whether it's possible to interact with, respect, and even be close friends with people whose beliefs are radically different from yours. In a multi-everything society, that's not only possible but vital. And the benefit is mutual: everyone has things to learn from everyone else. In my own case, I could give you plenty of "some of my best friends" examples, if I had a mind to.

The question, rather, concerns your husband/wife/life partner . . . the one person who means more to you than any other, who you're more intimate with than any other, who you love, who you sleep with, and who, if you have kids, you co-parent with. Can people with incompatible views on religion function in that kind of relationship? I myself don't think I'd be able to, but I know that some people feel very differently. There's no right and wrong here. But I think it's an interesting question.

That's all.

Carry on . . . Wink

Religious disputes are like arguments in a madhouse over which inmate really is Napoleon.
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29-08-2011, 11:06 PM
 
RE: “Mixed Marriages”—Can they work?
Cufflink: I understand when you say you don't think you would be able to. I myself fell that way. Especially after witnessing my cousin's marriage. The were making promises to an common imaginary being. I definitely don't want to see myself doing that, out of principle. Even though if it were me and another Muslim apostate getting married under the disguise of Islam just for the sake of marriage in my country.

But to think of it in another perspective, Muslim-Christian, preferably apostates, marriage would serve as an advantage for the children, required that they are thought and cultured the beliefs in the religions, rather than just being raised a pure atheist. They would have a background understanding rather than a textbook understanding of the two biggest religion in the world, if it matters to one.

Oh by the way, mix-marriage between Muslims and any others of religion is outlawed in my country.
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30-08-2011, 05:16 AM
 
RE: “Mixed Marriages”—Can they work?
(29-08-2011 09:59 PM)Stark Raving Wrote:  someone stating a fact in a rather poetic way...Nicely said Zatamon.

Thank you Stark Raving.

@Araktsu ...There is no need to one-up each other on this forum. You have done it with Peterkin too, picking on the signature line that was obviously a joke (and a very funny one). That was the first joke you missed (to my knowledge), before you missed mine. That is why I commented on your sense of humour. Try to understand what people actually meant before jumping in to criticize them. Failing that, why not ask questions before assuming something negative? You may learn something from the answer.

Just a friendly advice.
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