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3rd option for POTUS
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03-07-2016, 09:42 PM
RE: 3rd option for POTUS
Seriously? Watch this from Samantha Bee and see if you still want to vote for him.




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03-07-2016, 10:27 PM (This post was last modified: 03-07-2016 10:51 PM by ZoraPrime.)
RE: 3rd option for POTUS
I don't know much about him. Typically when I don't know much about a candidate, I tend to use their climate change policy as a litmus test, since it gives me an indication of how willing they are to use evidence-based policy. That said, even when they acknowledge anthropomorphic climate change, typically the policy solutions aren't good. Cap-and-trade is usually rallied behind as the most liberal option because it worked for a previous environmental issue (acid rain if I remember correctly); however, the issue was fixed by adding filters--there's no such thing as an efficient carbon dioxide filter to the best of my knowledge, but I digress.

Johnson's view seems to be he acknowledge ACC is a thing, but doesn't want to do anything about ACC instead of letting the free market decide. However, since there's a lag between carbon dioxide being put into the air and eventually leaving the carbon system naturally, by the time people feel effects of ACC we may not be able to easily address the issue. What I see is a conflict of interest: he is willing to acknowledge policy but absolute does not want any conclusions to run contrarian to his free market stance; moreover, he wants to help build more coal power plants--which is going the other way. In other words, it makes me concerned Johnson is unwilling to do anything if corporations happened to be inconvenienced with the only point I can give in his favor is he's at least honest about acknowledging existence of problems.
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03-07-2016, 10:51 PM
RE: 3rd option for POTUS
(03-07-2016 09:42 PM)WillHopp Wrote:  Seriously? Watch this from Samantha Bee and see if you still want to vote for him.




I don't have any high-speed data on my plan, is there a transcript I can read somewhere?
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04-07-2016, 06:13 AM
RE: 3rd option for POTUS
(03-07-2016 10:51 PM)Thumpalumpacus Wrote:  I don't have any high-speed data on my plan, is there a transcript I can read somewhere?
There wasn't one until I created one just now. Enjoy.


[Intro]

Samantha Bee
Welcome back to the show. Let's say you were choosing a sandwich. What do you when your only choices are something morally reprehensible, against the rule of law and decency and a symbol for all that's wrong in America [an image of Trump's face next to giant hamburger dripping with sauce is displayed in the background] and something you, I don't know, you don't really know why you just never cared for [an image of Clinton's face next to a plain old toast sandwich is displayed in the background]? You might be wondering if there's anything else on the menu [a picture of a smiley face made out of a sandwich and vegetables is displayed in the background]. Well, guess what, there is! It's not FDA-inspected, but I took a bite anyway.

Samantha Bee
For the last 160 years, Americans have only elected Democrats and Republicans for president, but this year, that could all change.

Female CNN news anchor
44% of registered voters said that they would want a third party option.

Male CNN news anchor
There's already a third party candidate running right now.

MSNBC news anchor
The Libertarian presidential candidate Gary Johnson.

Fox News anchor
Gary Johnson.

Gary Johnson on CNN
Who the hell is Gary Johnson?

Samantha Bee
Good question, guy who is Gary Johnson. We sat down so Gary could introduce himself to America.

[Start of the interview]

Gary Johnson
I'm Gary Johnson. I am running for president on the Libertarian party.

Samantha Bee
What is a Libertarian?

Gary Johnson
A Libertarian is fiscally conservative and socially liberal. Get government out of the bedroom, bring an end to the drug war and let's stop with these military interventions.

Samantha Bee (talking over the recording)
Sounds reasonable, so I had Gary walk me through a checklist of what it means to be Libertarian.

Gary Johnson
Legalize marijuana. I would not have bailed out the auto industry. I support a woman's right to choose. I would abolish guaranteed government student loans and I would abolish the Department of Education.

Samantha Bee
Here's the thing with Libertarians: I support basically every other thing you say.

Gary Johnson
I believe in free markets. The model of the future should be Uber-everything. Uber accountant, Uber lawyer, Uber doctor.

Samantha Bee
I can't wait to pay surge pricing mid-colonoscopy.

Samantha Bee (talking over the recording)
But the free market seems to be going Gary's way. He'll be the only third party candidate on the ballot in all 50 states and he's already polling at 10%. So who is the real Gary?

Samantha Bee
Your campaign slogan is "Google 'Gary Johnson' and find out."

Gary Johnson
Google "Gary Johnson". This is really objective.

Samantha Bee
And yet you have a name they would give someone in witness protection.

Gary Johnson
You know, there are a lot of Gary Johnsons.

Gary Johnson
Who is Gary Johnson?

Gary Johnson
Just google him

Samantha Bee (talking over the recording)
So I googled "Johnson" - oops, safe search on - and it turns out that he was a popular two-term governor of New Mexico in the 90s where he balanced the budget and murdered some wood. Also, he's climbed Mount Everest and bikes while sexy. But is he ready for the big leagues?

Samantha Bee
Let's take a look at an image from your campaign website. What sound were you making when this photo was taken. Ngaaaaaaah!

Gary Johnson
I looove youuuuu. Doesn't that show gravitas?

Samantha Bee
Make that face right now.

Gary Johnson
[attempts to recreate the facial expression in the picture]

Samantha Bee
What are you doing? Why? You know, kids will do anything with photos. They can put anything in there. So easy to turn that G into an H.

Gary Johnson
[whispers] Gravitas.

Samantha Bee (talking over the recording)
But Gary's biggest strength seems to be that he's not the worst.

Samantha Bee
You've got a real advantage over Trump and Hillary because you're not really disliked, you're just not known. All you really have to do now is shut up and look pretty.

Gary Johnson
[starts laughing]

Samantha Bee
Shhh. Just look pretty.

Gary Johnson
Ok. Just be liked.

Samantha Bee (talking over the recording)
And it turns out Gary being Gary is pretty amazing. His mind is as free as his markets.

Samantha Bee
What was your most recent job before running?

Gary Johnson
I was the CEO of Cannabis Sativa, but I am making a pledge that I would not be consuming marijuana as President of the United States. I am actually a really disciplined cat.

Samantha Bee
You're a cat? Panther-like?

Gary Johnson
Uh, may I share one of my high school nicknames with you?

Samantha Bee
I'm dying to hear what it was.

Gary Johnson
Jaguar. Jaguar Johnson?

Samantha Bee
Whaaat?

Gary Johnson
Pshh.

[A picture of Johnson's face photoshopped on a Jaguar's body is shown for a few seconds]

Samantha Bee
Do you think you're presidential enough to get elected?

Gary Johnson
I-, I am-, I do not- I am a round peg in a square hole when it comes to the perception of what you're supposed to be running for president.

Samantha Bee (talking over the recording)
Still, when your choices are a peg that's been squaring herself since she was five [a video of Clinton is playing in the background] and a peg that's just fucking the hole for the fun of it [a video of Trump is playing in the background], Gary's realness is pretty refreshing. He just wants everyone to live free.

Samantha Bee
If you could be anywhere but the campaign trail right now, where would you be?

Gary Johnson
Rock climbing.

Samantha Bee
Well, lucky for you, I'm a witch. [snaps]

[Samantha Bee and Gary Johnson suddenly appear on a training wall for rock climbers]

Samantha Bee
Oh my God!

Gary Johnson
Awesome!

Samantha Bee
How the fuck did you rope me into this?

Gary Johnson
How the fuck have you gotten us so high never having done this before and isn't it exciting? I mean, it's just so in the moment. [Johnson leans in to kiss Bee on the cheek] Oh yeah, nothing's more in the moment.

Samantha Bee
Gary Johnson. I hate to say this: I think you're too freaky-deaky to be our president.

Gary Johnson
I think this is what you want in a president.

Samantha Bee (talking over the recording)
This Libertarian is ready for America.

Gary Johnson
Vote for Gary Johnson!

Samantha Bee (talking over the recording)
But is America ready for the Libertarians? We'll find out next week when we visit their convention.

Samantha Bee
What sorts of people show up at the Libertarian convention?

Gary Johnson
You're gonna find really wonderful, well-meaning, well-spoken people and then people that are just batshit crazy.

Samantha Bee (back in the studio)
We'll be right back.

I don't know whether Samantha Bee is supposed to be a shitty journalist or a shitty comedian, but after watching this sham of an interview, I'm not surprised that she never managed to get any of the major presidential candidates to sit down for an interview with her. This was a major chance for Johnson to look like a reasonable alternative to Trump and Clinton, but instead he only ended up looking like a lunatic on par with John McAfee.

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04-07-2016, 07:34 AM
RE: 3rd option for POTUS
Part II, yeah, SHE is the one who made him and his party look batshit crazy.




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04-07-2016, 07:55 AM
RE: 3rd option for POTUS
(04-07-2016 07:34 AM)WillHopp Wrote:  Part II, yeah, SHE is the one who made him and his party look batshit crazy.




OK. That clinched it.

The ideal protest vote. He will do well.

Yes

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04-07-2016, 08:30 AM
RE: 3rd option for POTUS
Right now I'm planning to vote for Johnson. The only way I won't is if Vermin Supreme gets on the ballot by me. If he's a choice, I'm voting for him every single time.

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04-07-2016, 08:38 AM
RE: 3rd option for POTUS
(04-07-2016 08:30 AM)BnW Wrote:  Right now I'm planning to vote for Johnson. The only way I won't is if Vermin Supreme gets on the ballot by me. If he's a choice, I'm voting for him every single time.

I think his stance on ponies and zombie turbines makes a lot of sense.

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04-07-2016, 08:41 AM
RE: 3rd option for POTUS
Fuck no. The Koch-backed libertarian who'd cut food stamps and dismantle the federal government by letting the conservative states dismantle healthcare and abortion rights, etc, is not someone I'd vote for.

Fucking libertarians are crazy.

And the "socially liberal but fiscally conservative line" is just bullshit. When you dismantle programs that help the disenfranchised (which are disproportionately female and minorities), you're not being socially liberal. Wanting weed legalized and being pro-choice don't make you socially liberal by default. And what good would a libertarian president be who held those positions if his view is that the individual states decide anyways? It would literally benefit no one.

Being nice is something stupid people do to hedge their bets
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04-07-2016, 08:47 AM
RE: 3rd option for POTUS
(04-07-2016 07:34 AM)WillHopp Wrote:  Part II, yeah, SHE is the one who made him and his party look batshit crazy.



I don't think I said that. Johnson and the Libertarian party do plenty enough to make themselves look crazy:



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