50 shades of Gr.....

[kim]

(28-01-2013 02:15 AM)Free Thought Wrote:  

(27-01-2013 04:07 PM)cheapthrillseaker Wrote:  Oh sweet Jesus.

You called?
Mighty nice facepalm you have there.

HA! The first thing I thought when I saw that was, "Wow, where'd Cheap get that pic of Free?".

[Carlo_The_Bugsmasher_Driver]

(27-01-2013 03:54 PM)Hobbitgirl Wrote:  


I ran across these "inspirational" christian books at the grocery store today. Id like you to draw your attention to the amish romance novels.....




Lol. But this last one really cracked me up




Those christians are trying to get in on the action too apparently.

It's a very Christian thing to do. Copy some hip secular thing but add a religious twist to it. See music, entertainment, vacations, kids camps, books, movies, websites.

But COURTING CATE???????????? Thanks! You just took my libido and starched and pressed it!

[Carlo_The_Bugsmasher_Driver]

(27-01-2013 04:07 PM)cheapthrillseaker Wrote:  Oh sweet Jesus.

What would your Father say?

[bbeljefe]

"Sex. As a people it seems we are just enamored with it. So what we
wanted to do is say ok this is what the culture is saying about love and
romance. But that's what the culture, the world is saying about it. But
what is God saying about it,"

Who gives a rat's ass what the people who wrote the god book said about it? What kind of sadistic fuck creates humanity, makes sex the only way to continue humanity, makes sex the most pleasurable thing known to humanity and then tells humanity to STFU about sex?

[k37713]

(28-01-2013 07:02 AM)Misanthropik Wrote:  ...Gently, he slid his hard, callused hand - rough and beaten from the hours of farmwork - along the length of her thick wool sweater. A chill went through his body as he imagined the soft skin that must surely lie somewhere deep underneath the multiple layers of fabric. She looked at him with a mischevious twinkle in her eye. "Jacob," she stammered, still trying to maintain her lucidity, "I think...I think tonight is the night." He gazed at her from behind the thickness of his sideburns; dangling like flycatchers from either side of his brow. "Are you sure?" he asked. Without saying a word, she reached down - breaking every taboo known to her society - and lifted the corner of her dress; revealing the smallest patch of ankle hidden underneath.

Overcome with a passion which burned like the fire used for cooking/heating/illumination in who's warm glow they were embraced, he could not take it anymore. He immediately opened the front pocket of his sweater, revealing the fullness of a large, thick leather-bound Bible hidden underneath. Her eyes lit up with excitement and thrill. She quickly reached underneath her dress and, overcome with the same burning passion which was rapidly engulfing them both, began to finger the pages of her own Bible. For the next several hours, the two lovers read Bible verses to one another through deep, heavy breaths.

(I would have kept going but it's getting SOOO hot in here)

wow.. I almost pissed myself from laughter

[Anjele]

Vera's next translation job...Amish porn.

[Vera]

(28-01-2013 11:40 AM)Anjele Wrote:  Amish porn.

This could totally work. And I foresee that it won't be just barns that will be raised... Who doesn't like outdoor sex... and I can't be the only one who thinks this screams orgy

[Carlo_The_Bugsmasher_Driver]

(28-01-2013 12:01 PM)Vera Wrote:  

(28-01-2013 11:40 AM)Anjele Wrote:  Amish porn.

This could totally work. And I foresee that it won't be just barns that will be raised... Who doesn't like outdoor sex... and I can't be the only one who thinks this screams orgy

YEAH!.....FUCK! YES!!!......BUILD THAT BARN, YOU DIRTY BITCH!!

[Vera]

(28-01-2013 01:22 PM)Carlo_The_Bugsmasher_Driver Wrote:  YEAH!.....FUCK! YES!!!......BUILD THAT BARN, YOU DIRTY BITCH!!

Son, you have some weird ideas about porn... and possibly other things

It's the men who will be doing the building (and raising)... and to celebrate a good day's work - a good night's boinking in the newly-built barn. Plus, no electricity, so everybody's gonna look attractive.

[Misanthropik]

(28-01-2013 11:18 AM)k37713 Wrote:  

(28-01-2013 07:02 AM)Misanthropik Wrote:  ...Gently, he slid his hard, callused hand - rough and beaten from the hours of farmwork - along the length of her thick wool sweater. A chill went through his body as he imagined the soft skin that must surely lie somewhere deep underneath the multiple layers of fabric. She looked at him with a mischevious twinkle in her eye. "Jacob," she stammered, still trying to maintain her lucidity, "I think...I think tonight is the night." He gazed at her from behind the thickness of his sideburns; dangling like flycatchers from either side of his brow. "Are you sure?" he asked. Without saying a word, she reached down - breaking every taboo known to her society - and lifted the corner of her dress; revealing the smallest patch of ankle hidden underneath.

Overcome with a passion which burned like the fire used for cooking/heating/illumination in who's warm glow they were embraced, he could not take it anymore. He immediately opened the front pocket of his sweater, revealing the fullness of a large, thick leather-bound Bible hidden underneath. Her eyes lit up with excitement and thrill. She quickly reached underneath her dress and, overcome with the same burning passion which was rapidly engulfing them both, began to finger the pages of her own Bible. For the next several hours, the two lovers read Bible verses to one another through deep, heavy breaths.

(I would have kept going but it's getting SOOO hot in here)

wow.. I almost pissed myself from laughter

Not exactly the "wetness" I was trying to evoke, but it'll do.