A California Boy's Life in the Swamps
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29-08-2012, 12:09 AM
 
Bug A California Boy's Life in the Swamps
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So, we’re about to go to bed for the night. Miraculously, the power hasn’t gone out, because we're surrounded by seventy-mile-per-hour gusts and blowing rain. I let the dogs out dressed in full wet gear. They potty.

But as I’m taking in the last, the Chihuahua-mix, her eyes bulging out of fear of the storm, I hear the stray cat we’ve been feeding for six months start to cry from under the house. Our mobile home sits up about three and one-half feet off the ground, and it uses that space as shelter. We decide to give it some food.

Under the house is dry as day. I place the cat food in a light-blue plastic bowl through a space in the skirting we have left for the cat to come and go. As I’m backing up out of it, a four-foot water moccasin slithers in behind me. It almost ran over my foot!

I’m scared as hell: My dogs will be bit; it will set up a nest under the house; the cat will be struck—Jesus Christ!

I tell my wife: “Get my nine! There’s a snake—a big one right under the house.” She comes out with her .357. I say... “Thanks?…” The Beretta 92FS is my gun; I’m a better shot with it, but hey, a gun’s a gun.

I crawl back under the house. The wind is howling, the rain is splashing, I have to hold the six-volt flashlight in one hand and the Smith and Wesson Model 13 in the other. But the snake hasn’t moved.

I fire once. It moves fast. I fire a second time and hit it midsection and slow it. I fire a third and miss, I can’t hear anymore; then the fourth disintegrates its head. Bam! It’s a doornail.

But I had to pick it up, and it’s still neurologically twisting around—its residual life condemns me for killing it. Yet at the same time all I can think is how thankful I am to God I killed one of His creatures and that He guided my hand in doing so.

I crawl back out into the blowing wet darkness, fresh kill in one hand, the gun and flashlight in the other. I come up to the back porch and show my wife and dogs what I did for them. I feel like a proud rat terrier.

I’m saving the spent casings in a plastic bag marked, “Hurricane Isaac, 8/2012, 4-foot water moccasin.”

No martial arts tonight because of the hurricane—BS! I say.
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29-08-2012, 12:39 AM
RE: A California Boy's Life in the Swamps
Nice job. (The shooting too).Tongue

Did the snake discuss any apple ingestion ? Drinking Beverage

Insufferable know-it-all.Einstein
Those who were seen dancing were thought to be insane by those who could not hear the music - Friedrich Nietzsche
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29-08-2012, 08:15 AM
A California Boy's Life in the Swamps
That's a badass story.

It's also a happy reminder that I'm quite satisfied living where no such thing as scary creepy crawlies exist. Drinking Beverage

It was just a fucking apple man, we're sorry okay? Please stop the madness Laugh out load
~Izel
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29-08-2012, 08:23 AM
RE: A California Boy's Life in the Swamps
As much as it sucks to have to kill an animal, i understand that sometimes you just gotta do what you gotta do. Nice job man. And good for you for taking the headshot instead of just bailing out and letting it die from the body shot.

Egor is a badass too!

So many cats, so few good recipes.
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29-08-2012, 08:41 AM
RE: A California Boy's Life in the Swamps
(29-08-2012 08:15 AM)Erxomai Wrote:  It's also a happy reminder that I'm quite satisfied living where no such thing as scary creepy crawlies exist. Drinking Beverage

Oh, they're there... slitherin and crawlin' all around.... you just don't sssseeeeee them.

mmMMMmmMMMMWWWWWWAAAAAAAAAh! Evil_monster

A new type of thinking is essential if mankind is to survive and move to higher levels. ~ Albert Einstein
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29-08-2012, 08:44 AM
A California Boy's Life in the Swamps
(29-08-2012 08:41 AM)kim Wrote:  
(29-08-2012 08:15 AM)Erxomai Wrote:  It's also a happy reminder that I'm quite satisfied living where no such thing as scary creepy crawlies exist. Drinking Beverage

Oh, they're there... slitherin and crawlin' all around.... you just don't sssseeeeee them.

mmMMMmmMMMMWWWWWWAAAAAAAAAh! Evil_monster

Nanananananananananana can't heeeeeaaaar youuuuuu!!!!!

It was just a fucking apple man, we're sorry okay? Please stop the madness Laugh out load
~Izel
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30-08-2012, 11:10 PM
 
RE: A California Boy's Life in the Swamps
(29-08-2012 12:39 AM)Bucky Ball Wrote:  Nice job. (The shooting too).Tongue

Thanks, man. I hated it, afterward. You know, if I passed it anywhere else, I would just let it wander off, but I didn't make the universe the way it is. God did.

Quote:Did the snake discuss any apple ingestion ? Drinking Beverage

Yeah, he was like, "Surely God didn't say I couldn't set up under your house."

(29-08-2012 08:15 AM)Erxomai Wrote:  That's a badass story.

It is, isn't it? I was actually holding a flashlight and aiming at the snakes head and blasting away during a hurricane. And if I didn't succeed, I'd have to live with knowing that motherfucker was under there. eeeeeeee. Even now it freaks me out. And the truth is there's probably a snake under there now that I don't even know about. But when it's dry, it wouldn't be a moccasin.

Quote:It's also a happy reminder that I'm quite satisfied living where no such thing as scary creepy crawlies exist. Drinking Beverage

Where on earth is that?

(29-08-2012 08:23 AM)Stark Raving Wrote:  As much as it sucks to have to kill an animal, i understand that sometimes you just gotta do what you gotta do. Nice job man. And good for you for taking the headshot instead of just bailing out and letting it die from the body shot.

Egor is a badass too!

That would have really got to me, because honestly I love animals. I just love my dogs and cats more than that particular snake. I am very fortunate to have gotten the head shot, and I'm very thankful.
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30-08-2012, 11:18 PM
RE: A California Boy's Life in the Swamps
The stray cat ok?

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30-08-2012, 11:23 PM
RE: A California Boy's Life in the Swamps
(30-08-2012 11:10 PM)Egor Wrote:  
(29-08-2012 08:15 AM)Erxomai Wrote:  It's also a happy reminder that I'm quite satisfied living where no such thing as scary creepy crawlies exist. Drinking Beverage

Where on earth is that?

Seattle.
Western Washington doesn't have much or anything poisonous unless it's been brought here. The rain must keep them away. Drinking Beverage

It was just a fucking apple man, we're sorry okay? Please stop the madness Laugh out load
~Izel
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31-08-2012, 12:28 AM
RE: A California Boy's Life in the Swamps
Good job, Egor Thumbsup

Humankind Dodgy (a total misnomer)
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