A Crossroad: An email to a church member
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18-12-2013, 10:11 PM
RE: A Crossroad: An email to a church member
(17-12-2013 02:35 PM)kingschosen Wrote:  Perhaps. But, my wish was to only not have an "intervention". It wasn't "stop being my friend" or "stop communicating with me".

Oh well I guess.

I do feel really, really guilty that it all came to a head while we were at this church. As I've said over and over, the place and the people are really great, generally speaking... and they've haven't done anything wrong to us.

We just simply can't be associated with organized religion anymore... I don't think.

If any church or any congregation deserves to be uplifted and well respected, it's this one. It really is. The last church I was at was cesspool, and this one was a welcomed breath of fresh air.

Sad we couldn't eventually fit in.

Nothing left to do but pray strut. [Image: 409-strut.gif?w=500]

Sorry this is happenin', man. *hugs*

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19-12-2013, 12:45 AM
RE: A Crossroad: An email to a church member
(18-12-2013 05:09 PM)Adrianime Wrote:  What you say is true, but I personally consider childhood indoctrination child abuse. So I wish you hadn't said it Censored

I'd say that's a little extreme as a use of the term. Good parents do the best they can for their kids. KC and QC (and my parents) truly believe that this Christianity stuff is essential for the kid. While I agree that it's inconvenient, definitely to the degree that I experienced indoctrination, all it did was teach me a lot more about thinking for myself. Some people have much more hectic stories though, of getting thrown out by their parents, or brought up with their position in life and the church already predetermined - essentially mind slavery...

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(06-02-2014 03:47 PM)Momsurroundedbyboys Wrote:  And I'm giving myself a conclusion again from all the facepalming.
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19-12-2013, 12:57 AM
RE: A Crossroad: An email to a church member
Of course it wouldn't be intentional harm. But...i wont start a huge derail about that here.

I prefer fantasy, but I have to live in reality.
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19-12-2013, 01:18 AM
RE: A Crossroad: An email to a church member
(19-12-2013 12:57 AM)Adrianime Wrote:  Of course it wouldn't be intentional harm. But...i wont start a huge derail about that here.

I can see your viewpoint... it's a difficult question though, 'cos from the parents' point of view, you're asking them to neglect an area of kiddo's education. To *deliberately* not teach their kid something that is potentially life-saving. Big ask.

Urgh... more derail Tongue

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If you're perfect -- Alanis Morissette
(06-02-2014 03:47 PM)Momsurroundedbyboys Wrote:  And I'm giving myself a conclusion again from all the facepalming.
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19-12-2013, 04:00 AM
RE: A Crossroad: An email to a church member
(18-12-2013 10:07 AM)kingschosen Wrote:  I've considered this. It's a real issue that I'm torn over. The church has really done a lot of damage to QC and me, and I don't want that to happen to my kids.

On the other hand, life is also filled with hurt, and it's not isolated to just Christians or the church. I really want to spare my kids from unnecessary hurt and unnecessary exposure to hypocrisy; especially, when it comes to the church - a unit that we're supposed to trust.

For the time being, we're not going to be in church. But, I'm not going to say we'll never join a church again... we just need to come to peace with certain issues that are hard for us to ignore.

Well, you know you've always got a place with us heathens, so chin up! Cool

That being said, I have to second Dom's suggestion. If you're looking for community and something positive to rally around, take a stab as some secular or charity organization. Maybe you'll find something more fulfilling while helping the needy surrounded by those of other faiths and none, where the emphasis is on what brings you together for a common good rather than what divides us. As I've said before, I'm always a fan of inclusion, not exclusion. Hug

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20-12-2013, 06:50 PM
RE: A Crossroad: An email to a church member
(18-12-2013 10:07 AM)kingschosen Wrote:  
(18-12-2013 09:59 AM)bemore Wrote:  Whilst I imagine you have metaphorically speaking always had a "church of KC/QC" (meaning your family unit) this will now be your only church. Without the reinforcement/routine of a church and its lifestyle I wonder if this may have an effect over time on your own personal relationship with god?
For the time being, we're not going to be in church. But, I'm not going to say we'll never join a church again... we just need to come to peace with certain issues that are hard for us to ignore.

I'll more or less repeat the advice I gave last time this topic came up[1]. Don't spend too much time away from church. Spending time away from church and christian community is going to affect your walk in ways that are as painful or more so than being in a church would have done.

[1] http://www.thethinkingatheist.com/forum/...#pid293704

Give me your argument in the form of a published paper, and then we can start to talk.
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21-12-2013, 10:05 AM
RE: A Crossroad: An email to a church member
(20-12-2013 06:50 PM)Hafnof Wrote:  
(18-12-2013 10:07 AM)kingschosen Wrote:  For the time being, we're not going to be in church. But, I'm not going to say we'll never join a church again... we just need to come to peace with certain issues that are hard for us to ignore.

I'll more or less repeat the advice I gave last time this topic came up[1]. Don't spend too much time away from church. Spending time away from church and christian community is going to affect your walk in ways that are as painful or more so than being in a church would have done.

[1] http://www.thethinkingatheist.com/forum/...#pid293704

Looking back it does seem apparent that staying away from church may have contributed significantly to my own deconversion. After showing up at church after I'd gone all Death Rock (similar to Goth if you're wondering, this was 1987) I felt suddenly unwelcome. I had been away from the church and tried to make a return. The people somehow managed to shun me silently without saying a single word. it was palpable. I never went back. The rest is history.

He's not the Messiah. He's a very naughty boy! -Brian's mum
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21-12-2013, 10:47 AM
RE: A Crossroad: An email to a church member
(21-12-2013 10:05 AM)Cardinal Smurf Wrote:  ... similar to Goth if you're wondering, this was 1987) I felt suddenly unwelcome.
... The people somehow managed to shun me silently without saying a single word. it was palpable. I never went back. The rest is history.

Goth-shunning, however, is not a criminal offence.

In fact, I'd go as far as to say it was self-defense.




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21-12-2013, 11:00 AM
RE: A Crossroad: An email to a church member
(21-12-2013 10:47 AM)DLJ Wrote:  
(21-12-2013 10:05 AM)Cardinal Smurf Wrote:  ... similar to Goth if you're wondering, this was 1987) I felt suddenly unwelcome.
... The people somehow managed to shun me silently without saying a single word. it was palpable. I never went back. The rest is history.

Goth-shunning, however, is not a criminal offence.

In fact, I'd go as far as to say it was self-defense.




Some people I've come across wonder why it is I don't pursue a relationship with my family anymore. Simple: done being miserable.

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23-12-2013, 12:59 PM
RE: A Crossroad: An email to a church member
Kc - I just wanted to check in and see how all of this was going for you? And I was wondering if the holidays wasn't making it a bit more tough?

anyway.......... you're in my thoughts - you and your family.......and.....I hope the season is bright and cheery for you all even tho you're going through something difficult just now.

wishing you all the best

(just for you............ Merry Christmas)

"Presumably man with hair on fire can be used to cook eggs and bacon..."MorondogLaugh out load
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