A Fruitless Search for Love
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19-01-2016, 01:06 AM
RE: A Fruitless Search for Love
That's where finding an activity to meet people comes in. Even if you don't find romantic attachment that way, you will be able to practice conversation skills, and it won't be as scary 'cos you can always chat about the common interest of the group and it won't seem weird.

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If you're perfect -- Alanis Morissette
(06-02-2014 03:47 PM)Momsurroundedbyboys Wrote:  And I'm giving myself a conclusion again from all the facepalming.
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19-01-2016, 01:41 AM
RE: A Fruitless Search for Love
(18-01-2016 05:28 PM)Heatheness Wrote:  
(18-01-2016 05:25 PM)Chas Wrote:  I think the idea is go alone, return accompanied. Big Grin

Yes, but like faith in gods, I no longer have faith in that outcome. No

Learn to enjoy them on your own. When you meet a partner, they'll be that much more enjoyable.
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19-01-2016, 01:57 AM
RE: A Fruitless Search for Love
(19-01-2016 01:41 AM)Thumpalumpacus Wrote:  
(18-01-2016 05:28 PM)Heatheness Wrote:  Yes, but like faith in gods, I no longer have faith in that outcome. No

Learn to enjoy them on your own. When you meet a partner, they'll be that much more enjoyable.

Yes, I know, I should learn to take my own advice. Rolleyes

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19-01-2016, 07:13 AM
RE: A Fruitless Search for Love
(18-01-2016 05:54 PM)IgniteThought Wrote:  
(18-01-2016 11:26 AM)jennybee Wrote:  ...And if he wants to stay in the US (I think you are in the US, anyway?), he should come to San Francisco. Lots of cool people, very open-minded, lots of same sex couples/singles. I'm straight myself, but I love surrounding myself with other open-minded people.

I'm from Puerto Rico so I'm right next to the DR. Laugh out load I'm actually thinking of moving to the U.S. I think the experience of moving far away from home will help me grow as a person. I'm terrified of it, but I'm also tired of living here for many reasons, one of which is the kid-size dating pool.

I'd love to move to San Francisco, but I don't think I could afford it. I'm just getting my life started. Maybe I can find a roommate or something. I'm weighting my options at the moment.

Moving somewhere really new is scary, but it also has great possibilities. When I hit 30 i decided to shake up my life and move somewhere new. I picked a coast (East) and a city (Boston), found housemates, and moved. Within a couple of years I'd met the man who's now my husband, and a whole bunch of other great things happened to me, too.

So my advice would be, don't be afraid to make a big change.
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20-01-2016, 09:07 AM
RE: A Fruitless Search for Love
(19-01-2016 07:13 AM)julep Wrote:  
(18-01-2016 05:54 PM)IgniteThought Wrote:  I'm from Puerto Rico so I'm right next to the DR. Laugh out load I'm actually thinking of moving to the U.S. I think the experience of moving far away from home will help me grow as a person. I'm terrified of it, but I'm also tired of living here for many reasons, one of which is the kid-size dating pool.

I'd love to move to San Francisco, but I don't think I could afford it. I'm just getting my life started. Maybe I can find a roommate or something. I'm weighting my options at the moment.

Moving somewhere really new is scary, but it also has great possibilities. When I hit 30 i decided to shake up my life and move somewhere new. I picked a coast (East) and a city (Boston), found housemates, and moved. Within a couple of years I'd met the man who's now my husband, and a whole bunch of other great things happened to me, too.

So my advice would be, don't be afraid to make a big change.

Thank you, I'm going to remember this when I move. I'm planning to make the change by the end of the year. Hopefully it will go as well as it went for you. Smile
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20-01-2016, 09:19 AM
RE: A Fruitless Search for Love
Welcome to the forum Ignite. I feel for you. I was single for years! and I mean. Love just never seemed possible.

I meet my wife online. Took me 29 years to find her. And the only reason we meet was because I came out of my comfort zone.

Your young enjoy the time you have finding out what you like. If you wind up desideding on moving to the US don't worry look more for a place that you would be happy living there are plenty of gay men that I know that would kill for a exotic Puerto rican. You'll find love in the strangest of places.

Keep us posted.

Don't Live each day like it's your last. Live each day like you have 541 days after that one where every choice you make will have lasting implications to you and the world around you. ~ Tim Minchin
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20-01-2016, 08:39 PM
RE: A Fruitless Search for Love
(20-01-2016 09:19 AM)Commonsensei Wrote:  Welcome to the forum Ignite. I feel for you. I was single for years! and I mean. Love just never seemed possible.

I meet my wife online. Took me 29 years to find her. And the only reason we meet was because I came out of my comfort zone.

Your young enjoy the time you have finding out what you like. If you wind up desideding on moving to the US don't worry look more for a place that you would be happy living there are plenty of gay men that I know that would kill for a exotic Puerto rican. You'll find love in the strangest of places.

Keep us posted.

LOL That's interesting. Yeah, I'm hoping my "exotic" puerto rican appeal will make me popular in whatever city I decide to move to. haha. At the very least, it'd make a great conversation starter. Thanks for your advice and kind thoughts. Big Grin
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21-01-2016, 07:58 AM
RE: A Fruitless Search for Love
(19-01-2016 07:13 AM)julep Wrote:  
(18-01-2016 05:54 PM)IgniteThought Wrote:  I'm from Puerto Rico so I'm right next to the DR. Laugh out load I'm actually thinking of moving to the U.S. I think the experience of moving far away from home will help me grow as a person. I'm terrified of it, but I'm also tired of living here for many reasons, one of which is the kid-size dating pool.

I'd love to move to San Francisco, but I don't think I could afford it. I'm just getting my life started. Maybe I can find a roommate or something. I'm weighting my options at the moment.

Moving somewhere really new is scary, but it also has great possibilities. When I hit 30 i decided to shake up my life and move somewhere new. I picked a coast (East) and a city (Boston), found housemates, and moved. Within a couple of years I'd met the man who's now my husband, and a whole bunch of other great things happened to me, too.

So my advice would be, don't be afraid to make a big change.

You neglected to add "Your mileage may vary." Big Grin

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Science is not a subject, but a method.
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21-01-2016, 08:10 AM
RE: A Fruitless Search for Love
It takes time. In my case it took 45 years.

DJ

Live Better...Help Often....Wonder More
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21-01-2016, 04:39 PM
RE: A Fruitless Search for Love
It's my personal opinion that the best thing you could do for yourself while keeping your romantic options open is to learn to enjoy your own company. By that, I mean to learn that being alone doesn't necessarily have to correlate with being lonely. Sometimes being alone can be very fulfilling - you start to discover who you truly are, what you like about yourself, what you love to do when you got nothing to weigh you down, and so on.

I really believe that some popular cultures preach that a person isn't complete without a mate - and that's such a horrible lie. Granted, there's a lot more to it depending on each person, but that's something in particular I've noticed, and it bugs the hell out of me lol. Solitude, the single life - these are things to be enjoyed and celebrated, not loathed, not to be gotten rid of as quickly as possible. Embrace it while you can.

See it as an opportunity to be exactly who you want to be, whenever you want - so that when you find a partner, you've already created a strong foundation of who you are because you've done lots of positive exploration. Loving yourself, and being confident in that, is a very attractive quality that will bring special and amazing people into your life. I hope all goes well for you.
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