A Gang of Theists!
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27-09-2017, 08:25 PM
RE: A Gang of Theists!
God told you to stay away from the apples.

You should have said "I heard you two like to fondle the cucumbers".
They'll be on their way.

Insufferable know-it-all.Einstein God has a plan for us. Please stop screwing it up with your prayers.
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27-09-2017, 08:29 PM
RE: A Gang of Theists!
It IS so weird to strike up a conversation with strangers. It takes balls to do it in the first place, but to stand there for a solid 5 minutes or so is an outstanding show of shamelessness. I wanna be prepared for another encounter and just make it an all-out theism debate = )

Also, to Aliza, I now find myself seeking them out at Meijer ever since then. (And you know what Meijer is.)

"It was life, often unsatisfying, frequently cruel, usually boring, sometimes beautiful, once in awhile exhilarating." -Stephen King
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27-09-2017, 08:33 PM
RE: A Gang of Theists!
(27-09-2017 08:25 PM)Bucky Ball Wrote:  God told you to stay away from the apples.

You should have said "I heard you two like to fondle the cucumbers".
They'll be on their way.

I hadn't made the apple connection til you said that. I asked for trouble.

"It was life, often unsatisfying, frequently cruel, usually boring, sometimes beautiful, once in awhile exhilarating." -Stephen King
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27-09-2017, 08:39 PM
RE: A Gang of Theists!
(27-09-2017 08:33 PM)Peanut Wrote:  
(27-09-2017 08:25 PM)Bucky Ball Wrote:  God told you to stay away from the apples.

You should have said "I heard you two like to fondle the cucumbers".
They'll be on their way.

I hadn't made the apple connection til you said that. I asked for trouble.

Laugh out load

Insufferable know-it-all.Einstein God has a plan for us. Please stop screwing it up with your prayers.
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27-09-2017, 08:48 PM
RE: A Gang of Theists!
(27-09-2017 04:04 PM)Peanut Wrote:  Dodgy

The other day I was at the grocery store when I was religiously attacked by two women. I was reaching for an apple when I felt a presence to my left. It was two women (about 40-50 years old) just standing there looking at me. I moved to my right and smiled and apologized if I was standing in the way. She smiles at me and says something like, "Hi. We like to shop at Meijer once a week and (right here is when I realize my predicament and she's not just making small talk.) we like to find people who may want blessings."

"Oh."

Other lady, "Would you be offended if we prayed with you?"

"Um, I don't want to waste your time, honestly. I don't believe in that stuff." *Politely smiles*

*Taken aback but with a smile plastered on her face* Well, tell me, are you experiencing any turmoil in your life?

*in head "ya"* "No. I'm okay. But thank you." and I turn back to the apples.

"It must be so nice to have such a blessed life."

*WHAT A CONDESCENDING, PASSIVE-AGGRESSIVE BITCH. I say nothing but raise my eyebrows and smile awkwardly.*

Other lady, "Well if you don't believe in god, what do you think happens to us when we die? *getting a little fired up, but smiling nonetheless*

*sighs* "We either get cremated or our bodies rot in the ground." * Drinking Beverage

"Well that's sad. We all have souls."

"But I don't believe there are souls."

"And what if you're wrong?"

"Then I'm wrong." Thumbsup

***************Dave comes up at this point and the ladies are clearly perturbed by this exchange. He gets a heated and says, "and what proof do you have that YOUR right?"

*giggles condescendingly* "I read the proof every day."

"Right. you read a book written when people didn't know what the sun was and by men who wanted to control people."

"It's the bible."

"Yeah and they make money off of people"

"WE'RE not making money *laughs*

"No, but you're giving THEM money."

Other lady *with venom*, "You should watch [religious documentary I can't remember]. So many angry atheists out there."

*We just leave*

AND THEN THERE WAS ANOTHER LADY WHO COMPLIMENTED MY BLUE HAIR WHEN WE GOT NEAR THE MILK! We were cheerful to her because again we caught off guard, but before she could do her spiel, we said we had to go. THEN THROUGHOUT OUR PRODUCE TRIP I NEEDED TO FINISH, THAT LADY WAS JUST STANDING IN DIFFERENT PLACES, WAITING FOR "PRAY." (Sorry).

**I also felt religiously stereotyped considering my hair and his all black clothes and the fact that we were stopped within two minutes from the others.** LOLZ
There are people that frequent our local grocery store to "attack" people.

What if he and I decide to go around enlightening people randomly about the joys of atheism? I should do that, actually Consider

They probably prayed for our souls that night too.
Dicks

That is some seriously annoying crap, these fundy churches actually have classes to teach witnessing and encouragement to approach people. The Mormons are known for this, but it happens in other sects of Christianity as well.

Gods derive their power from post-hoc rationalizations. -The Inquisition

Using the supernatural to explain events in your life is a failure of the intellect to comprehend the world around you. -The Inquisition
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27-09-2017, 08:57 PM
RE: A Gang of Theists!
(27-09-2017 08:48 PM)TheInquisition Wrote:  That is some seriously annoying crap, these fundy churches actually have classes to teach witnessing and encouragement to approach people. The Mormons are known for this, but it happens in other sects of Christianity as well.

Yeah. I seriously felt like I messed up their "quota" for the week/night. It's creepy. And I didn't see anyone actually praying with them, either. (But we did put a lot of space between us.)

"It was life, often unsatisfying, frequently cruel, usually boring, sometimes beautiful, once in awhile exhilarating." -Stephen King
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27-09-2017, 08:57 PM
RE: A Gang of Theists!
Geez Peanut, why do you get to have all the fun?

Possible responses:

Fuck off (said with a smile and just loud enough for them to hear)

I’m going to call store security if you don’t back away.

Pepper spray, or if you are in the produce department a nice squeeze of Habanero should suffice Smile

Drop a watermelon on their toes.

Wave a cucumber under their nose and ask them if they like them that big.

Big Grin

“I am quite sure now that often, very often, in matters concerning religion and politics a man’s reasoning powers are not above the monkey’s.”~Mark Twain
“Ocean: A body of water occupying about two-thirds of a world made for man - who has no gills.”~ Ambrose Bierce
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27-09-2017, 09:20 PM
RE: A Gang of Theists!
Hug
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28-09-2017, 02:48 AM
RE: A Gang of Theists!
I would have slipped an apple into each of their handbags, then called security.

Get your own bleeding hymn book
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28-09-2017, 03:34 AM
RE: A Gang of Theists!
When I was in high school these types would lurk around the park my friends and I hung around.

It was a big open space and we could easily see them headed our way, bibles in hand, we would jump on our bikes and high tail it out of there.
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