A Silly Story
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16-09-2016, 10:58 AM
RE: A Silly Story
The Moon was bright blue but, with the sky all but covered by the record numbers in the annual flying-pig migration, Splodd could barely see the end of his aeroplane. But he was intent on shooting down those pigs. For too long they had flown over his farmstead shitting all over his patio!

But unknown to Splodd, the pigs were armed with heat-seeking guano-filled mutant penguins...

Unfortunately whoever armed the pigs forgot that penguins were flightless. Several hundred feet below them was a lake full of giant gefilte fish who thought guano stuffed penguins second only to ostrich Kiev as a gastronomic treat. The penguins lasted only seconds but the bloated gefilte fish were unaware that a large morbidly obese man whose name was Kevin has decided that he was going to do a full-on belly flop into the lake, and when he hit the water gefiltefish were rocketed into the air like scaly minions of death. They tore through the formation of pigs, wreaking a havoc not seen since the Great Pork Explosion of 1984, when a passing meteor had heated a large pig farm to the bursting point. (Many of the townspeople, in fact, later complained that the gefiltefish had caused even more destruction and heartache, since much of the resulting bacon fell to the water, wasted.)
Splodd saw pigs falling everywhere, and did a victory roll while shaking his fist in triumph! But it seemed his celebration was premature, for just then the great Stark entered the scene with his magic pipe and all the little piggies gathered around and in perfect unison crapped!

Horrified Spodd watched in horror as a brown tidal wave of grade A pig-shit flowed down the hill to...

Tomorrow is precious, don't ruin it by fouling up today.
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16-09-2016, 02:20 PM
RE: A Silly Story
The Moon was bright blue but, with the sky all but covered by the record numbers in the annual flying-pig migration, Splodd could barely see the end of his aeroplane. But he was intent on shooting down those pigs. For too long they had flown over his farmstead shitting all over his patio!

But unknown to Splodd, the pigs were armed with heat-seeking guano-filled mutant penguins...

Unfortunately whoever armed the pigs forgot that penguins were flightless. Several hundred feet below them was a lake full of giant gefilte fish who thought guano stuffed penguins second only to ostrich Kiev as a gastronomic treat. The penguins lasted only seconds but the bloated gefilte fish were unaware that a large morbidly obese man whose name was Kevin has decided that he was going to do a full-on belly flop into the lake, and when he hit the water gefiltefish were rocketed into the air like scaly minions of death. They tore through the formation of pigs, wreaking a havoc not seen since the Great Pork Explosion of 1984, when a passing meteor had heated a large pig farm to the bursting point. (Many of the townspeople, in fact, later complained that the gefiltefish had caused even more destruction and heartache, since much of the resulting bacon fell to the water, wasted.)

Splodd saw pigs falling everywhere, and did a victory roll while shaking his fist in triumph! But it seemed his celebration was premature, for just then the great Stark entered the scene with his magic pipe and all the little piggies gathered around and in perfect unison crapped!

Horrified Spodd watched in horror as a brown tidal wave of grade A pig-shit flowed down the hill to destroy the town orphanage. "Thank God I built on the other side of the hiil!" thought Spodd as he chuckled at the pigs' lousy marksmanship. Arming his double-barreled flame-throwers, Spodd flew toward the tightly grouped pig flock. Centering the pigs in his cross-hairs, he squeased the trigger...

---
Flesh and blood of a dead star, slain in the apocalypse of supernova, resurrected by four billion years of continuous autocatalytic reaction and crowned with the emergent property of sentience in the dream that the universe might one day understand itself.
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16-09-2016, 10:57 PM
RE: A Silly Story
The Moon was bright blue but, with the sky all but covered by the record numbers in the annual flying-pig migration, Splodd could barely see the end of his aeroplane. But he was intent on shooting down those pigs. For too long they had flown over his farmstead shitting all over his patio!

But unknown to Splodd, the pigs were armed with heat-seeking guano-filled mutant penguins...

Unfortunately whoever armed the pigs forgot that penguins were flightless. Several hundred feet below them was a lake full of giant gefilte fish who thought guano stuffed penguins second only to ostrich Kiev as a gastronomic treat. The penguins lasted only seconds but the bloated gefilte fish were unaware that a large morbidly obese man whose name was Kevin has decided that he was going to do a full-on belly flop into the lake, and when he hit the water gefiltefish were rocketed into the air like scaly minions of death. They tore through the formation of pigs, wreaking a havoc not seen since the Great Pork Explosion of 1984, when a passing meteor had heated a large pig farm to the bursting point. (Many of the townspeople, in fact, later complained that the gefiltefish had caused even more destruction and heartache, since much of the resulting bacon fell to the water, wasted.)

Splodd saw pigs falling everywhere, and did a victory roll while shaking his fist in triumph! But it seemed his celebration was premature, for just then the great Stark entered the scene with his magic pipe and all the little piggies gathered around and in perfect unison crapped!

Horrified Spodd watched in horror as a brown tidal wave of grade A pig-shit flowed down the hill to destroy the town orphanage. "Thank God I built on the other side of the hiil!" thought Spodd as he chuckled at the pigs' lousy marksmanship. Arming his double-barreled flame-throwers, Spodd flew toward the tightly grouped pig flock. Centering the pigs in his cross-hairs, he squeased the trigger... and began blasting the heathen pigs all the way to piggy hell! "Die, you bastards!" Growled Spodd. "Here's what you have coming to you for destroying our town!"
But just before the Great Wall of Poo (as it would later, and forever after, be known) descended upon the town proper, a huge form appeared between the poo and the town, like a giant fleshy dam of salvation! Kevin!
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