A brief history of Escape Artist...

[Escape Artist]

(18-12-2012 07:38 AM)earmuffs Wrote:  

(17-12-2012 12:37 PM)Escape Artist Wrote:  Yeah, it's definitely at the point to where I have to go 'round pretending that I'm single in order not to feel miserable. Any efforts he makes at this point, I see as a feeble attempt on his part to hold onto his "ATM" as you put it. He doesn't want to part with the money. It's not that I make tons of money, either - it's just that I've stuck with a job long enough to get certain perks and bonuses and he likes those very much. So anything he does now will feel fake and disingenuous.

Currently, my parents and his are trying to help us out of yet another financial jam and we're very busy at my work, but I'm planning to talk to a lawyer as soon as possible in 2013. At least then holidays will be out of the way and I won't have the added stress of a busy work schedule to contend with.

Plus, in regards to the mixed opinions I've been getting, I have to keep in mind that my family is operating out of a totally different worldview than I am. They are no doubt worried about what Sky Daddy thinks of divorce. Wouldn't want to piss him off.

Yea see, if you have to pretend to be single in order not to feel miserable then it's pretty clear you need to kick him out.
He's not gonna change trust me, I know his type.

You shouldn't have to exert yourself and earn these nice bonuses only for him to reap the rewards. And you're right to assume that anything he does now will not because he values you but because he values these nice bonuses.

If you are truly concerned with what your parents think just say you're a protestant, that was a religion created because of divorce. But you really shouldn't worry what they think, like I say, you sister are the one living with the guy.
It's easy for them to say "but surly you can work it all out" when it is not them living with the guy.
This is 2012, not 1950.


All those hours of watching Jeremy Kyle are a waste of time they said..
pfft.

I had to Google Jeremy Kyle to figure out who he was.

Anyway, that financial jam that my parents are helping to bail us out of comes with my father's stipulation that we separate finances (get separate bank accounts and split the bills, with me making the house note) and my husband was not happy about that. Last night he was working on some "project" on his legal pad and what do you want to bet that he's trying to figure out how to decline their help and money so he won't have to do that? (separate accounts, I mean) That, along with so many other things, tells me even more glaringly that he is not serious about wanting to change his habits. He still wants to be in total control of all the money.

But I'll stop griping now. At the moment, I'm just very fearful of the divorce process. I hear a lot of horror stories and how this economy is a terrible time to get divorced, and how expensive divorce is, and all that stuff. Getting married requires so little documentation and money (I'm not including actual wedding costs as that is optional - you don't have to have a huge wedding) and yet divorce is so costly!!!