A fireside chat with the presidential candidates with your host, Buddy Christ
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05-01-2012, 03:59 PM
A fireside chat with the presidential candidates with your host, Buddy Christ
I was writing a FB note of this, but it was no fun without pics, clips, and spell check, so I'm moving this to the forum.

Let's get to know our presidential candidates, intimately. So take your pants off, put on an Enya cd, and relax. Our first guest is the lovely:



Willard "Mitt" Romney


[Image: MittRomneyProfilePic.jpg]



Pros

-Quite a handsome devil... strong jaw... like a Greek statue... of George Clooney.

-He got his doctorate from Harvard with a 3.95 GPA... in English, an actual major, unlike Psychology or Christian Studies... so he's not a stupid person.

Cons

-He's a Republican, which means that he embraces things like tax cuts for the wealthy and for corporations... loves the flat tax over the progressive tax... however...

-He's so wealthy that even the middle class are lower class to him. He has several multi-million dollar mansions and has a net worth of roughly 200 million dollars. Do you really want the spokesperson of the American people to be part of the top 1% of Americans? Does that sound like he will make decisions in the interest of the rest of us?

-He's a Mormon, which means that he believes in magic underwear, no stimulants including caffeine, Jesus told the Bible to Joseph Smith in America using two seeing stones and angels were Native Americans... and so on.

-He gave up his enrollment at Stanford to do door-to-door Latter Day Saints missionary work in France... so he clearly favors religion over knowledge.

-Never served in the military and basically dodged the draft by getting a deferment for being a "Mormon minister."

And though I'm sure it's not without bias, here are 99 other things: http://thinkprogress.org/romney-facts/


Verdict: Although he's not a Christian, he is KIND of a Christian, which should win a couple of votes from the people who think we have a secret Muslim in office. And since most people seem to vote on appearance alone, Romney's movie star, gentle grandpa look puts him as a top contender.

Likelihood of Winning Primary: 70%




Richard "Rick" Santorum


[Image: rick-santorum.jpg]



Since Iowa is the manic depressive stepchild of America and changes their mind every week, we have to pretend for now that Rick Santorum is a viable option.

Pros

-His last name is a wonderfully disgusting sexual term.

-Poli Sci major from Penn St. Got his doctorate from Dickinson School of Law? Very unfortunate combination of schools. Penn State and Dickinson? Get it? No? Alright then.

Cons

-His last name is a wonderfully disgusting sexual term.

-He promises to annul all gay marriages if elected. Not just make illegal again, annul all existing marriages. He also uses that wonderful argument that most Republicans use, "What's to stop people from marrying their pets or a lamp shade next?" Demonstrating ignorance has never been so easy.

-Publicly stated that gay marriage is no different than bestiality or incest.

-The usual Republican things: anti-contraception ("states should have the right to outlaw birth control"), anti-women's rights, pro-war, pro-Bible, etc.

-If you couldn't tell by all his gay bashing, he is a Catholic. He is in fact SO Catholic that Time magazine listed him as one of the 25 Most Influential Evangelists in America.

-Against Roe vs Wade, seeks to federally ban abortion.

-Supports federal wire-tapping laws and the Patriot Act.

-Tried to enforce the teaching of Creationism alongside Evolution in schools. He is the enemy of logic. He can suck a dick.









Verdict: He's better at hiding his evangelism than Rick Perry, and so he will get the bulk of the religious right's vote. The results in Iowa will not continue onto the other caucuses.

Likelihood of Winning Primary: 30%




Jon Huntsman

[Image: Jon-Huntsman.jpg]



Verdict: He's the less popular Mormon who only has a GED and usually draws less than 1% of the vote in straw polls. Let's stop pretending he has any chance in this.

Likelihood of Winning Primary: 1%




Michele Bachmann


[Image: Michele_Bachmann_1.jpg]









Verdict: Though she has officially withdrawn from the race, I couldn't leave out her several "contributions" of brilliant sound bytes. Not since Palin have I seen a stare so empty and blank.

Likelihood of Winning Primary: 0%




Herman Cain

[Image: HermanCainProfilePic.jpg]



His actual ad is classic enough of a highlight. The music/smile combo is deadly.







Verdict: Also dropped out of the race after the 187th woman came forward claiming to have had an affair with him. The Republicans attempt at producing their own black president went pretty much as expected.

Likelihood of Winning Primary: 0%



Newt Gingrich

[Image: 6a010535de5339970c011570a13f8d970b-800wi]



Pros

-Got his doctorate in Modern European History (?) and wrote his dissertation on Belgian Policy in the Congo (???). Soooo, he's educated in something at least.

-Says he wouldn't charge interest on student loans for math or science majors.

Cons

-Also dodged the draft with a deferment, claiming he had short-sightedness and flat feet. There's a term for people like that in the military. They're called shitbags.

-Lutheran turned Southern Baptist turned Catholic, and all the baggage that comes with it (abortion bans, no gay marriage, best friends with Israel, etc).

-Thinks that we should focus on patriotic education instead of multiculturalism. Patriotic education sounds a lot like "altered truth" education. Like we were best friends with the Indians kind of education.

-Would amend the Constitution to allow public prayer in schools.

-Looks like a televangelist.

-Believes homosexuality is a sin and would move to "protect the sanctity of marriage." This coming from a guy who's been married 3 times.

Verdict: Pretty much a clone of his religious counterparts. Just depends on which flavor of crazy the religious right want to vote for.

Likelihood of Winning Primary: 20%



James "Rick" Perry

[Image: Governor-Perry-Headshot.jpg]



Pros

-Was a pilot and a captain in the Air Force. Flew C-130's.

-Graduated from Texas A&M...

Cons

-...with a 2.5 GPA in Animal Science.

-His videos pretty much sum up anything I might say.













Skip past the bearded dude parts. It was either him or an old shirtless guy wearing KISS face paint. Seriously.

Verdict: The first step towards a theocracy. A vote for Rick Perry is a vote for a dumber Bush.

Likelihood of Winning Primary: 5%



Ron Paul

[Image: Dr_Paul_small.jpg]



You might think that since Ron Paul is the "hope for all Libertarians" that I'd have nothing but shining things to say, but honestly he's almost as crazy as the others on some issues.

Pros

-Got his degree in Medicine from Duke.

-Served in the Air Force.

-Supports stem cell research.

-Wants to pull troops out of most places. Whether you're pro-war (or whatever it's called) or not, you have to admit that we have military bases all over the world for no particular reason and at the same time are apparently trying to take over the entire Middle East.

-Anti-Patriot Act.

-Pro-gay rights.

-Marijuana legalization should be left up to the states.

-Is hated and ignored by Fox News, therefore MUST be good for America.

Cons

-Thinks prayer in school should be allowed... though not required.

-Thinks government is too anti-theist.

-Is pro-life and seeks to remove abortion rights.

-Wants to shut down public schools in favor of private and home schooling. That's just an invitation to invite a free for all on the subject matter that is taught to our youth.

-Has some crazy hippie beliefs when it comes to the EPA as mentioned in the video below.









Verdict: It's time for the Ron Paul crowd to shut up and vote. Maybe we'll get something different in the White House for once. And anything different HAS to be good.

Likelihood of Winning Primary: I don't know. Now that voters have seen his high placing in the Iowa caucus, maybe they won't feel like they're throwing their vote away if they vote for RP. It can either snowball from state to state, picking up support, or it can die out. You can't have a better scenario to win than right now. Your opponents are almost mockeries of people.

"Ain't got no last words to say, yellow streak right up my spine. The gun in my mouth was real and the taste blew my mind."

"We see you cry. We turn your head. Then we slap your face. We see you try. We see you fail. Some things never change."
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05-01-2012, 08:04 PM
RE: A fireside chat with the presidential candidates with your host, Buddy Christ
Fuckin' brilliant. And far more practical than your Critique of the Bible which, while highly entertaining, I found to be of academic interest only.

As it was in the beginning is now and ever shall be, world without end. Amen.
And I will show you something different from either
Your shadow at morning striding behind you
Or your shadow at evening rising to meet you;
I will show you fear in a handful of dust.
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05-01-2012, 10:28 PM
RE: A fireside chat with the presidential candidates with your host, Buddy Christ
Great thread, i didn't really know anything about your Presidential candidates before.

Another thing ive learned from the pictures in this thread is that Presidential candidates seem to wear more makeup than the average teenage girl aswell as having massive foreheads, A bit like the british PM.
   

Behold the power of the force!
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05-01-2012, 11:31 PM
RE: A fireside chat with the presidential candidates with your host, Buddy Christ
Well done Buddy... while I dont' give a fuck for the most part about the whole fiascal...

I would only pay attention if it came down to Obama vs Ron Paul.

Those who can make you believe absurdities can make you commit atrocities. -- Voltaire
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06-01-2012, 08:39 AM
RE: A fireside chat with the presidential candidates with your host, Buddy Christ
RP doesn't really seek to remove abortion rights. He's a states rights kind of guy and thinks that many issues like prayer in school, abortion, gay marriage, etc (social issues) should be left up to respective states. He'll never accomplish that though so no worries. As for the EPA, DOE, Fed, FDA, etc. I agree with him. Far too much government bureaucracy involved in absolutely everything we do. These departments should be stripped down, consolidated, and streamlined.

“Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it's time to pause and reflect.”

-Mark Twain
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06-01-2012, 09:55 AM
RE: A fireside chat with the presidential candidates with your host, Buddy Christ
(06-01-2012 08:39 AM)germanyt Wrote:  RP doesn't really seek to remove abortion rights. He's a states rights kind of guy and thinks that many issues like prayer in school, abortion, gay marriage, etc (social issues) should be left up to respective states. He'll never accomplish that though so no worries. As for the EPA, DOE, Fed, FDA, etc. I agree with him. Far too much government bureaucracy involved in absolutely everything we do. These departments should be stripped down, consolidated, and streamlined.

I agree that RP has some good ideas on many things, though his religiosity skews some of his ideas.

However, I think the time of "States Rights" is over. It is an out-dated idea, suited to a time when it took days or weeks to get from one place to another, when people rarely went more than a few miles from home. Let's really streamline government - get rid of state governments, get rid of state taxes. Fifty bureaucracies gone.

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Science is not a subject, but a method.
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06-01-2012, 10:57 AM
RE: A fireside chat with the presidential candidates with your host, Buddy Christ
(06-01-2012 09:55 AM)Chas Wrote:  
(06-01-2012 08:39 AM)germanyt Wrote:  RP doesn't really seek to remove abortion rights. He's a states rights kind of guy and thinks that many issues like prayer in school, abortion, gay marriage, etc (social issues) should be left up to respective states. He'll never accomplish that though so no worries. As for the EPA, DOE, Fed, FDA, etc. I agree with him. Far too much government bureaucracy involved in absolutely everything we do. These departments should be stripped down, consolidated, and streamlined.

I agree that RP has some good ideas on many things, though his religiosity skews some of his ideas.

However, I think the time of "States Rights" is over. It is an out-dated idea, suited to a time when it took days or weeks to get from one place to another, when people rarely went more than a few miles from home. Let's really streamline government - get rid of state governments, get rid of state taxes. Fifty bureaucracies gone.

I agree. I'm not a 'state's rights' fan. It's stupid to me that I could marry a man in one state and travel 20 miles in the same country and my marriage is invalid. There are a shit load of examples of this so I won't get into them but it's ridiculous.

“Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it's time to pause and reflect.”

-Mark Twain
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06-01-2012, 07:58 PM (This post was last modified: 06-01-2012 08:49 PM by GirlyMan.)
RE: A fireside chat with the presidential candidates with your host, Buddy Christ
(06-01-2012 09:55 AM)Chas Wrote:  I agree that RP has some good ideas on many things, though his religiosity skews some of his ideas.

However, I think the time of "States Rights" is over. It is an out-dated idea, suited to a time when it took days or weeks to get from one place to another, when people rarely went more than a few miles from home. Let's really streamline government - get rid of state governments, get rid of state taxes. Fifty bureaucracies gone.

I'm with Chas. We already committed to socialism decades ago with Social Security, MediCare, and MediCaid. It's far too late to try and reverse that. ... I asked my brother the actuary for his opinion on the Affordable Care Act and he said, "It's just pussy-footing around the solution, the only viable actuarial model is Single Payer. All this other shit is just political posturing."

Buddy Roemer for the win!

As it was in the beginning is now and ever shall be, world without end. Amen.
And I will show you something different from either
Your shadow at morning striding behind you
Or your shadow at evening rising to meet you;
I will show you fear in a handful of dust.
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11-01-2012, 12:44 AM
RE: A fireside chat with the presidential candidates with your host, Buddy Christ
Should we start having a: "The Republican party is a religion" thread because that's all it seems to be.

A coalition of Christian faiths that only want to conform everyone to their form of thinking.

I thought we learned our mistake from Bush.

"Mankind must put an end to war, or war will put an end to mankind." -John F Kennedy

The way to see by Faith is to shut the eye of Reason.” -Benjamin Franklin

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