A horrible tragedy happened!
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03-12-2011, 06:31 AM
RE: A horrible tragedy happened!
Just saw this. I can't add much except I'm so sorry to hear this. I couldn't imagine what I'd do if I lost my parents so brutally and suddenly. I wish there was something I could do besides make this post.

Take care of yourself. I hope they catch the murderer.

"But the point is, find somebody to love. Everything else is overrated." - HouseofCantor
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03-12-2011, 10:16 AM
RE: A horrible tragedy happened!
Chances are, the killer will be caught and will turn out to be some badly damaged individual whom you can't even hate with a passion - and they can only give back what they took, not whom they destroyed. It's hard to reconcile to a situation so bad, with no sense, no purpose, no bigger picture. That's where people with religious convictions and communities have an advantage: they're always playing a part in God's movie - that's probably why many stick to those communities, often long after they've lost their conviction.

The investigation and trial and all the attendant official procedure will take more effort, more time, drain more energy. It will, however, also give some kind of structure to the aftermath - activity and drama to frame this event; a bigger picture - which may be better than being alone with the loss and no context or acknowledgment. Putting part of yourself into the drama - on stage, as it were, playing the required part - could provide a temporary insulation from the horror. Perhaps you don't have to assimilate it all at once, but part by part, over time. I don't know whether that will help you - it works for some people.

If you pray to anything, you're prey to anything.
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03-12-2011, 11:21 AM
 
RE: A horrible tragedy happened!
You should become the new Ezio Auditore!

Kill everyone that you think would be the ones to kill your parents.
& Then murder everyone that's pissed you off. ^-^

HOLY SHIT. I'm starting to sound like Hamata K.
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03-12-2011, 11:44 AM
RE: A horrible tragedy happened!
I just don’t know what to say…
My thoughts are with you.
All my love
Karl

A casual stroll through the lunatic asylum shows that faith does not prove anything. Friedrich Nietzsche
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03-12-2011, 12:13 PM
 
RE: A horrible tragedy happened!
(03-12-2011 11:21 AM)calmyourtitsbro Wrote:  Kill everyone that you think would be the ones to kill your parents.

I think killing is the last thing he needs to have on his mind.

I know from experience: when tragedy struck me, the last thing I needed was thoughts of violence. I needed to hold myself together, in one piece, not falling apart, because I had children who depended on me. So I quarantined the pain under extremely tight control and let it out, a little bit at a time, not more than what I could cope with.

Had I indulged myself in violent fantasies, I would have lost all control, started screaming at fate and everybody around me, would have betrayed myself and my loved ones with my childish self-indulgence.

Maturity starts, and is proven, by being able to handle tragedies. Sad
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03-12-2011, 12:50 PM
RE: A horrible tragedy happened!
(03-12-2011 12:13 PM)Zatamon Wrote:  
(03-12-2011 11:21 AM)calmyourtitsbro Wrote:  Kill everyone that you think would be the ones to kill your parents.

I think killing is the last thing he needs to have on his mind.

I know from experience: when tragedy struck me, the last thing I needed was thoughts of violence. I needed to hold myself together, in one piece, not falling apart, because I had children who depended on me. So I quarantined the pain under extremely tight control and let it out, a little bit at a time, not more than what I could cope with.

Had I indulged myself in violent fantasies, I would have lost all control, started screaming at fate and everybody around me, would have betrayed myself and my loved ones with my childish self-indulgence.

Maturity starts, and is proven, by being able to handle tragedies. Sad

Wanted to "like" this about a dozen times. Well said sir.

So many cats, so few good recipes.
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03-12-2011, 01:18 PM
RE: A horrible tragedy happened!
How horrible. I can't even begin to imagine what this must be like for you. I wish I had eloquent words of comfort, but I'm at a loss.

I think you're right that your life will never be the same again. But you need to stay strong for your family, and they for you. Together you'll get through this.

Religious disputes are like arguments in a madhouse over which inmate really is Napoleon.
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03-12-2011, 01:23 PM (This post was last modified: 03-12-2011 01:24 PM by Observer.)
RE: A horrible tragedy happened!
They arrested him! The found the car as well.
The man is a disturbed mind who requires as much compassion as punishment. I hope they lock him away carefully so science and society can learn from this.

more later...


(03-12-2011 12:13 PM)Zatamon Wrote:  
(03-12-2011 11:21 AM)calmyourtitsbro Wrote:  Kill everyone that you think would be the ones to kill your parents.

I think killing is the last thing he needs to have on his mind.

I know from experience: when tragedy struck me, the last thing I needed was thoughts of violence. I needed to hold myself together, in one piece, not falling apart, because I had children who depended on me. So I quarantined the pain under extremely tight control and let it out, a little bit at a time, not more than what I could cope with.

Had I indulged myself in violent fantasies, I would have lost all control, started screaming at fate and everybody around me, would have betrayed myself and my loved ones with my childish self-indulgence.

Maturity starts, and is proven, by being able to handle tragedies. Sad

true!

Observer

Agnostic atheist
Secular humanist
Emotional rationalist
Disclaimer: Don’t mix the personal opinion above with the absolute and objective truth. Remember to think for yourself. Thank you.
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03-12-2011, 01:29 PM
RE: A horrible tragedy happened!
In tragedy, in grief... it's such a whirlwind of emotion. And there's this incredible empty feeling. It's hard to find words to say because there really is nothing to say, in the end, in the face of something like this, you are alone. One rule I found useful was, don't hate yourself. If you feel angry, if you feel happy, don't feel guilty.

Just know that it will be months before your emotions come under your control. Life will never be the same again, but the memories are always with you and their lives had meaning. For every smile to a traveller, for every kind word, for bringing you up and teaching you - those things will endure forever and make a mark on the world.
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03-12-2011, 01:42 PM (This post was last modified: 03-12-2011 02:01 PM by Observer.)
RE: A horrible tragedy happened!
He turned himself in...
Remorse? I hope so... I don’t wish him death nor disaster.

I wish him remorse. Lots of it! I wish that, every time he caresses someone he loves he'll caress them with weapons!! Every time he looks in the mirror he doesn’t see a man, but the murderer he really is!

For life!!

Observer

Agnostic atheist
Secular humanist
Emotional rationalist
Disclaimer: Don’t mix the personal opinion above with the absolute and objective truth. Remember to think for yourself. Thank you.
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