A little bit of my back story
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20-03-2013, 07:18 AM
A little bit of my back story
Ok, I kind of wrote a book here, but I never get to talk about this so I don't care. Lol
After years of questioning, about a month ago my hubby and I
just started not believing in Christianity. Like many people, I was raised in a
very Christian home. I was “homeschooled” and everything. I quoted the word
homeschooled because I wasn’t taught anything; homeschooling was just an excuse
to keep us from going to a school and being exposed to the sinful world. I remember
being 14 years old and getting yelled at for holding my crushes hand…I actually
felt like a slut for holding his hand and felt guilty for years. My parents were a little sheltering and controlling. Lol



Me and my family moved and started going to a different church
when I was 13; we went there for about 5 years, but then had to leave because
it had a lot of cult-like characteristics. The church was very big on the whole
faith/prosperity gospel.



After we left the cult church we found a church that seemed
like the best church in the world, and I went there for 3-4 years and I’m
actually still going there since no one knows I don’t believe anymore. This
church actually does have a lot of good people, so even though my hubby and I
roll our eyes at a lot of the preaching, we’re glad because we know it could be
worse. Lol However, the cult church left both me and my hubby with some pretty
big trust issues with Christians and Christian leaders, which I think was the
beginning of our “de-conversion”


We decided to not tell anyone about our nonbelief for the
time being. However, my mom did know I was having some doubts even though she didn’t
know the extent. So she sent me a long fb message about being careful what I
search on google because there is a lot of wrong information out there. She
mentioned that she had a friend who, like me, decided to listen to things that
contradicted the bible. Apparently my mom’s friend ended up with a mental illness.
My mom thinks she is mentally ill because of the secular teaching. I love my
mom, but it is silly to think that secular teaching could cause mental illness.
I feel so sorry for my mother. I probably will never get her or my father to even
hear to my point of view…I know I’m just going to get preached at if I tell
them. It’s sad.

Aside from all of the anxiousness and confusion that come
with such a huge life change, it’s been really liberating. Through the worry of
what people will think, I feel peace at the same time. Weird, huh? I feel like
I’m no longer bound by a religion that I, for the longest time, didn’t even realize
was limiting me so much! I no longer have to worry about the unanswered prayers
asking God what I need to do with my life. I don’t have to feel guilty for not
getting up at 5 AM and reading my bible and praying. I don’t have to lie and say
that God is first in my life; I can say that my husband is my number 1. I don’t
have to pretend anymore. I don’t have to worry about all the crap that comes
with religion.

"Most people are other people.
Their thoughts are someone else's opinions,
their lives a mimicry,
their passions a quotation."
-Oscar Wilde
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20-03-2013, 07:26 AM (This post was last modified: 20-03-2013 07:45 AM by DLJ.)
RE: A little bit of my back story
That was strangely uplifting.

Thank you.

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20-03-2013, 07:36 AM
RE: A little bit of my back story
Welcome!

I'm not anti-social. I'm pro-solitude. Sleepy
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25-03-2013, 04:13 PM
RE: A little bit of my back story
OH! I can so relate to your story...thanks for sharing. I, too was homeschooled for awhile...and although homeschooling doesn't always mean negative things, when it is joined with religious ideas and "keeping children from the sin-filled world" and keeping them from learning the truth of things (such as evolution), it is extremely damaging! I can also relate to the issues you have (or could possibly have) with your mother...yes, yes, I was called a "sexpot" for trying to wear my hair in a more attractive way when I was fourteen, and many other instances of being shamed for normal behavior. It has only been recently that my family knows of my atheism and views on the destruction religion has caused me as well as others, and it isn't easy. I'm so glad you and your husband are discovering things together...that you have someone at your side as you find out for yourself what is true and question things. Thumbsup
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26-03-2013, 08:09 AM
RE: A little bit of my back story
(25-03-2013 04:13 PM)bethiebugs Wrote:  OH! I can so relate to your story...thanks for sharing. I, too was homeschooled for awhile...and although homeschooling doesn't always mean negative things, when it is joined with religious ideas and "keeping children from the sin-filled world" and keeping them from learning the truth of things (such as evolution), it is extremely damaging! I can also relate to the issues you have (or could possibly have) with your mother...yes, yes, I was called a "sexpot" for trying to wear my hair in a more attractive way when I was fourteen, and many other instances of being shamed for normal behavior. It has only been recently that my family knows of my atheism and views on the destruction religion has caused me as well as others, and it isn't easy. I'm so glad you and your husband are discovering things together...that you have someone at your side as you find out for yourself what is true and question things. Thumbsup
Haha a sexpot? Lol thats a funny word.
I hope things get better for you and your family! Maybe after a little time they will be more open to your viewpoints. Smile

"Most people are other people.
Their thoughts are someone else's opinions,
their lives a mimicry,
their passions a quotation."
-Oscar Wilde
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26-03-2013, 08:34 AM
RE: A little bit of my back story
The part about your mother assuming the person developed a mental illness because of her secular teaching is funny. Well, not that she has a mental illness....but...you get it.

It reminds me of a talk I had with my sister in law yesterday while helping her look for an apartment (her husband is divorcing her after 363 days of marriage). She said, "I love him, but I know the reason he's doing this is because he hasn't asked god into his heart. Until he finds god, he will always be a terrible person".


Sure....because the fact that you basically forced him to marry you after a month, and got the only visitations he had with his daughter taken away......had NOTHING to do with ANYTHING.

Consider

I once was blind...but now, I see.
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26-03-2013, 08:55 AM
RE: A little bit of my back story
(26-03-2013 08:34 AM)milk_milk_lemonade Wrote:  The part about your mother assuming the person developed a mental illness because of her secular teaching is funny. Well, not that she has a mental illness....but...you get it.

It reminds me of a talk I had with my sister in law yesterday while helping her look for an apartment (her husband is divorcing her after 363 days of marriage). She said, "I love him, but I know the reason he's doing this is because he hasn't asked god into his heart. Until he finds god, he will always be a terrible person".


Sure....because the fact that you basically forced him to marry you after a month, and got the only visitations he had with his daughter taken away......had NOTHING to do with ANYTHING.

Consider
Oh brother. Lol if she thinks he's such a terrible person, why did she marry him? That isn't very Christian of her to marry a nonbeliever. Haha Tongue

"Most people are other people.
Their thoughts are someone else's opinions,
their lives a mimicry,
their passions a quotation."
-Oscar Wilde
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26-03-2013, 08:59 AM
RE: A little bit of my back story
(26-03-2013 08:09 AM)LadyWallFlower Wrote:  
(25-03-2013 04:13 PM)bethiebugs Wrote:  OH! I can so relate to your story...thanks for sharing. I, too was homeschooled for awhile...and although homeschooling doesn't always mean negative things, when it is joined with religious ideas and "keeping children from the sin-filled world" and keeping them from learning the truth of things (such as evolution), it is extremely damaging! I can also relate to the issues you have (or could possibly have) with your mother...yes, yes, I was called a "sexpot" for trying to wear my hair in a more attractive way when I was fourteen, and many other instances of being shamed for normal behavior. It has only been recently that my family knows of my atheism and views on the destruction religion has caused me as well as others, and it isn't easy. I'm so glad you and your husband are discovering things together...that you have someone at your side as you find out for yourself what is true and question things. Thumbsup
Haha a sexpot? Lol thats a funny word.
I hope things get better for you and your family! Maybe after a little time they will be more open to your viewpoints. Smile
I wish the same for you. Smile
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26-03-2013, 09:33 AM
RE: A little bit of my back story
You know what else bugs me? My parents have both said stuff about google, like "you can find anything on google" which is kind of a roundabout way of telling me to not trust everything I read or research. It's kind of ironic because I'm researching BECAUSE I don't believe everything I read! Hobo

"Most people are other people.
Their thoughts are someone else's opinions,
their lives a mimicry,
their passions a quotation."
-Oscar Wilde
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26-03-2013, 09:43 AM
RE: A little bit of my back story
(26-03-2013 09:33 AM)LadyWallFlower Wrote:  You know what else bugs me? My parents have both said stuff about google, like "you can find anything on google" which is kind of a roundabout way of telling me to not trust everything I read or research. It's kind of ironic because I'm researching BECAUSE I don't believe everything I read! Hobo
LOL....I haven't told my parents yet. The one time I hinted around to the fact that I didn't really believe in god, my dad hung his head and said, "somewhere along the way, I've failed you".

Now if THAT doesn't make you feel great, I don't know what will!! Ohmy

I once was blind...but now, I see.
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