A little humor
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04-08-2016, 09:48 PM
A little humor
Have you heard the one about the hypocritical god that murdered the world's population with a flood, and then told his prophet, Moses, "Thou shalt not kill"?

Judging by Moses excursions in Canaan, however, Moses took that commandment as a joke, anyway.

If we believe absurdities, we shall commit atrocities.--Voltaire.

"To argue with a man who has renounced the use and authority of reason is like administering medicine to the dead." --Thomas Paine.
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05-08-2016, 09:28 AM
RE: A little humor
God was only referring to middle income Christian white straight suburban Americans.
Obviously.

Everyone else is fair game.
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05-08-2016, 09:37 AM (This post was last modified: 05-08-2016 09:45 AM by Commonsensei.)
RE: A little humor
"That's because god laws don't apply to him. Everything he dose is good." Is the common response from believers.

If you check out the other 603 commandments included in the bible. The most common punishment for breaking one of the commandments would be death. Usually threw stoning.

http://www.thethinkingatheist.com/forum/...mmandments

Such things as

When God gives you a city, you must kill everything in it that breathes. Deuteronomy 20:16-18

Kill Amalekites (men, women, infants and sucklings, ox and sheep, camel and ass). Deuteronomy 25:19

If a man accuses his wife of not being a virgin on her wedding night, and her parents are unable to produce the bloody sheets to disprove the accusation, then the men of the city shall stone her to death. Deuteronomy 22:13-21


that require you to kill, which one are you suppose to listen to. The don't kill, or kill everything?

Don't Live each day like it's your last. Live each day like you have 541 days after that one where every choice you make will have lasting implications to you and the world around you. ~ Tim Minchin
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05-08-2016, 11:46 PM
RE: A little humor
Can God make a rock so big that we can stone him to death with it?

---
Flesh and blood of a dead star, slain in the apocalypse of supernova, resurrected by four billion years of continuous autocatalytic reaction and crowned with the emergent property of sentience in the dream that the universe might one day understand itself.
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06-08-2016, 02:11 AM
RE: A little humor
[Image: 90a651d8e07daf19beb8560b96794d82.jpg]


My Youtube channel if anyone is interested.
https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCEkRdbq...rLEz-0jEHQ
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06-08-2016, 07:35 PM
RE: A little humor
(05-08-2016 09:37 AM)Commonsensei Wrote:  "That's because god laws don't apply to him. Everything he dose is good." Is the common response from believers.

If you check out the other 603 commandments included in the bible. The most common punishment for breaking one of the commandments would be death. Usually threw stoning.

http://www.thethinkingatheist.com/forum/...mmandments

Such things as

When God gives you a city, you must kill everything in it that breathes. Deuteronomy 20:16-18

Kill Amalekites (men, women, infants and sucklings, ox and sheep, camel and ass). Deuteronomy 25:19

If a man accuses his wife of not being a virgin on her wedding night, and her parents are unable to produce the bloody sheets to disprove the accusation, then the men of the city shall stone her to death. Deuteronomy 22:13-21


that require you to kill, which one are you suppose to listen to. The don't kill, or kill everything?

Been years and years since I have seen a good nonvirgin stoning, how about you?
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06-08-2016, 07:38 PM
RE: A little humor
(06-08-2016 02:11 AM)Shadow Fox Wrote:  [Image: 90a651d8e07daf19beb8560b96794d82.jpg]

A couple had just gotten married and she asked him if the coffee was ready. He said "No, you are the woman make the coffee."
She told him the Bible says that the man makes the coffee.
He said if she could show him where in the Bible it says that he would make the coffee every day of their marriage.
She turned to near the end of the Bible and showed him several pages that said "Hebrews" at the top!
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07-08-2016, 10:36 AM
RE: A little humor
(04-08-2016 09:48 PM)666wannabe Wrote:  Have you heard the one about the hypocritical god that murdered the world's population with a flood, and then told his prophet, Moses, "Thou shalt not kill"?

Judging by Moses excursions in Canaan, however, Moses took that commandment as a joke, anyway.
Umm... Moses never made it into Canaan.



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08-08-2016, 05:52 AM
RE: A little humor
(07-08-2016 10:36 AM)jabeady Wrote:  
(04-08-2016 09:48 PM)666wannabe Wrote:  Have you heard the one about the hypocritical god that murdered the world's population with a flood, and then told his prophet, Moses, "Thou shalt not kill"?

Judging by Moses excursions in Canaan, however, Moses took that commandment as a joke, anyway.
Umm... Moses never made it into Canaan.



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Of course not. Moses wasn't real.

Don't let those gnomes and their illusions get you down. They're just gnomes and illusions.

--Jake the Dog, Adventure Time

Alouette, je te plumerai.
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08-08-2016, 10:38 AM
RE: A little humor
(08-08-2016 05:52 AM)Old Man Marsh Wrote:  
(07-08-2016 10:36 AM)jabeady Wrote:  Umm... Moses never made it into Canaan.



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Of course not. Moses wasn't real.
He never made it, even in the story.

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