A priest, a rabbi, and a monk walk into a bar...
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17-12-2011, 07:07 PM
A priest, a rabbi, and a monk walk into a bar...
...and the bartender says, "What is this? A joke?"

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17-12-2011, 07:11 PM
RE: A priest, a rabbi, and a monk walk into a bar...
Godammit KC, you got the best sense of humor ever!

So many cats, so few good recipes.
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18-12-2011, 01:05 AM
RE: A priest, a rabbi, and a monk walk into a bar...
Two men walked into a bar.

The third man ducked.

It was just a fucking apple man, we're sorry okay? Please stop the madness Laugh out load
~Izel
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18-12-2011, 10:29 AM
RE: A priest, a rabbi, and a monk walk into a bar...
A drunk goes into a bar. The bartender tosses him out as he is too drunk. The drunk walks back into the bar. Again, the bartender throws him out for being too drunk. Again the drunk walks into the bar. The bartender is just about the throw him out when the drunk looks at him and says, "How many bars do you own, anyway?"

"I think of myself as an intelligent, sensitive human being with the soul of a clown which always forces me to blow it at the most important moments." -Jim Morrison
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18-12-2011, 10:32 AM
RE: A priest, a rabbi, and a monk walk into a bar...
A horse walks into a bar, and the bartender says, "So, why the long face?"

Skepticism is not a position; it is an approach to claims.
Science is not a subject, but a method.
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18-12-2011, 10:35 AM
RE: A priest, a rabbi, and a monk walk into a bar...
Two hydrogen atoms walk into a bar.
One says, "I think I've lost an electron."
The other says, "Are you sure?"
The first says, "Yes, I'm positive..."

It was just a fucking apple man, we're sorry okay? Please stop the madness Laugh out load
~Izel
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18-12-2011, 11:26 AM
RE: A priest, a rabbi, and a monk walk into a bar...
An Irish man walks into an English pub. As soon as they figure out that he's Irish, an English man goes to him:
"I give you 100 pounds if you drink a bottle of whiskey in 60 seconds"
The Irish man leaves without a word. The other clients:
"That was offensive. He just came in to have a drink like all of us and you made him leave" but the Irish man comes back, drinks the whiskey and takes the money.
"Look", says the English man, "I'm sorry If I offended you with my offer. I apologize"
"You didn't offend me. I just went to the pub across the street to see if I can do it"

Oh, no Hallucinations 4:11 says the 'gilded sheep should be stewed in rat blood' but Morons 5:16 contradicts it. (Chas)

I would never shake a baby unless the recipe requires it.
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19-12-2011, 04:30 PM
RE: A priest, a rabbi, and a monk walk into a bar...
A rope walks into a bar and the bartender says, "Hey! We don't serve your kind! Git out!"

Saddened, the rope walked out the bar, sat on the curb, and thought for a minute. A smile washed over his face as he jumped to his feet. He pretzeled himself and messed up his hair and walked back into the bar.

The bartender yelled, "Hey! You! Aren't you that rope I just told to leave?"

The rope shook his head and said, "Nope. Frayed knot."

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19-12-2011, 04:35 PM
RE: A priest, a rabbi, and a monk walk into a bar...
(19-12-2011 04:30 PM)kingschosen Wrote:  A rope walks into a bar and the bartender says, "Hey! We don't serve your kind! Git out!"

Saddened, the rope walked out the bar, sat on the curb, and thought for a minute. A smile washed over his face as he jumped to his feet. He pretzeled himself and messed up his hair and walked back into the bar.

The bartender yelled, "Hey! You! Aren't you that rope I just told to leave?"

The rope shook his head and said, "Nope. Frayed knot."

I love that one. Smile

It has a follow up joke that goes:

A string goes into a bar and they won't serve it -- the usual story. So this upsets the string and it goes to a shrink to be psychoanalyzed. Since there's a little S & M in its background, it ties itself up, then tries to go into the same bar that rejected it before. The bartender says, "Aren't you a string?"
The string replies, "No, I'm a Freud knot."

It was just a fucking apple man, we're sorry okay? Please stop the madness Laugh out load
~Izel
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19-12-2011, 05:04 PM
RE: A priest, a rabbi, and a monk walk into a bar...
Three guys walk into a bar... and one of them tells this joke. See what I did there? My joke doesn't start properly so I... anyway,

A preacher goes to the market and, from a distance, he hears "Dam' fiiish, Dam' fish. Delicious dam' fish"
He gets closer and he sees his neighbor selling fish. "Why would you say such a thing? Don't you know that the fish is the sign of our Lord? Why would you curse like that?"
"No, reverend, you misunderstood me. You see, I always catch this kind of fish at the dam. I don't know what kind of fish it is but it's delicious and I call it dam fish because that's where I always catch them."
"I see. Very well, I will buy one for supper"
Later at home:
"Honey, I bought this beautiful dam' fish today. Please prepare a nice supper with it."
"Are you insane? That's no way for a preacher to speak and..."
"No, no , you see the neighbor... bla bla bla so that's why he calls it dam fish"
Later at supper:
"Son, pass me that dam fish, will you?"
"That's the spirit, dad! Give me the fucking potatoes!"

Oh, no Hallucinations 4:11 says the 'gilded sheep should be stewed in rat blood' but Morons 5:16 contradicts it. (Chas)

I would never shake a baby unless the recipe requires it.
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