A rant about my life
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12-12-2014, 04:51 AM
A rant about my life
Warning, long rant ahead.

The gist's in purple.

I'm almost 25 and I've done 0 of the 28934725 things I'd want to have done before turning 25. I'm supposed to have a job by now, right? I mean, what, am I going to wait until I turn 30 and still hope for a career and a normal life?

I'm sick of all the "you'll find something in time", "be patient", "why don't you do this or that", "you can still have a future". No one understands that I can't go through another job like my previous one. My boss was horrible and the experience caused me to have anxiety attacks and nightmares for a long time. Simply thinking about the possibility of one more boss like this makes my heart start beating fast. No one understands how hard that is.

I'm not lazy. I'm not asking for the perfect job. I'm not even asking for a lot of money. I can work for more than 8 hours on a minimum wage job, but I simply cannot risk getting a job with a boss over my shoulder. I get so nervous thinking about it. Sure, they may turn out to be alright. But what if they don't? What do I do then? Knowing myself, I will just chicken out, cry and carry on with it, because I won't have the guts to face my boss and cancel the contract.

I repeat, I'm not lazy. I want to work. I've even worked without getting paid helping my uncle, getting only the tips, more than 12 hours a day waiting tables and doing dishes. I'd do it again any day if I could.

My CV is practically useless given all the CVs by people with Master's degrees and years of experience who are unemployed. I even joined a freelancing website and realized that it's hard to make it there too. All my family is like "Chill, it's never easy to make it, but there are still chances." Lol, mum, no, there were chances when you started working 30 years ago, not in Greece of 2014.

I woke up today to the sound of water drops falling on the floor. It's been a couple of rainy days and it seems the upper floor (which hasn't been finished and can get wet by the rain) is flooded with water and it goes through our ceiling. I called my boyfriend who was at work and he was upset about his work and I was upset about the water and there was some tension.

I can't blame him, he works at the street market from 6am to 6pm, not even being able to sit down, hardly making 800$ a month. He can't make the money he should be making, because that place is like a fucking mafia and he can't go against them (other merchants bribe those in charge in order to get more space for their goods or to sell something exclusively, thus making it hard for someone else to sell the products they want).

He's almost 40 now, it's not like he can change his "career". There's no future for him and there's no future for me. We live in a rotten country that's falling apart and nothing can stop the downfall. One can't dream here. We can only hope to win the lottery or simply keep on getting by. Because we do get by, I can't complain. But is that a life to live? What about my dreams? Why should I be forced to suffer that much mentally in order to be able to just live a "normal" life?

I've told my boyfriend that if I do get a job, I won't have the time and the strength to clean and tidy up in here and he says it's fine. The thing is, he is always so tired because of work that he can't really clean up after himself and I understand that. However, that results in me having to clean up 3-4 times a week the way a normal house is cleaned once a week. I don't even know what I'm trying to say here. That I'm torn, maybe?

He has also told me that since I'm still young, there may be some subsidies for starting a business and he says we could open up a greengrocery together (I get the funding, he is the expert in veggies) but I've told him I have zero interest in vegetables and stuff and I just can't receive thousands of euros to invest in something I'm not even remotely interested in. Now, you may ask, why not use that funding in order to start a business I'm interested in? It's simple. Nine out of ten new businesses close down a few months after starting. Taxing is unbearable and it's extremely hard to invest in anything. There's even a tax for unemployed, poor, homeless people. Because, the government is like "No income? No house? How the fuck do you survive then? You must be hiding something. Pay up!"

First world problems, I know. It's just that "getting by" is not enough for me. I want to do things in my life and I can't do much without money. And there's no money to fix the the top floor so that water doesn't drip in here, there's no money to build a decent closet and our clothes have been in plastic bags on the floor for months now and there's no money to build a decent kitchen so the place is constantly a mess.

Anyway, what I'm trying to say I guess is that there's no job for me (and yes, I have checked classifieds) and even if I did manage to get over my fear of bosses and got a shitty job (because that's all one can get with my CV here), I wouldn't be able to dream about a career, a stable income and a better future.

Just wanted to get it out of my system. No one understands.

"Behind every great pirate, there is a great butt."
-Guybrush Threepwood-
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12-12-2014, 05:52 AM
RE: A rant about my life
Undecided

Sorry life's sucking so much Sad I don't have anything to suggest right now but Hug

PS: Off topic - I've not forgotten that walk/run schedule I'm supposed to be sending you, will dig it up.

We'll love you just the way you are
If you're perfect -- Alanis Morissette
(06-02-2014 03:47 PM)Momsurroundedbyboys Wrote:  And I'm giving myself a conclusion again from all the facepalming.
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12-12-2014, 10:25 AM
RE: A rant about my life
If you started your own greengrocers then that does not have to be it.... your life selling vegetables until you die. It could simply be one step in a much longer process/plan of achieving financial independence. You could go and get a job in a greengrocers working for somebody else, you would still be disinterested and the only thing making you go would be money. You can still be disinterested in vegetables yet own your own business selling them, working for yourself instead though and taking all of the profits and reaping the rewards.

You seem to have a lot of excuses for things. That is not me having a go nor judging your excuses to be "right or wrong" merely an observation. I exclude your ex boss though as that is an emotional trauma you have little to no control over (at the moment)

What are your dreams? What are your goals? Could you make a plan to achieve these without making excuses, because if everybody did then nothing would get done. YOU have got to make your dreams come true, no one will do it for you.

You have the capabilities to do it, dont keep telling yourself you cant because.... you will believe it.

I feel so much, and yet I feel nothing.
I am a rock, I am the sky, the birds and the trees and everything beyond.
I am the wind, in the fields in which I roar. I am the water, in which I drown.
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12-12-2014, 10:33 AM
RE: A rant about my life
Hug Hang in there, UGP.

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12-12-2014, 10:50 AM
RE: A rant about my life
Sorry UGP. I wish there was something I could do for you! Hug

" Generally speaking, the errors in religion are dangerous; those in philosophy only ridiculous."
David Hume
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12-12-2014, 03:57 PM
RE: A rant about my life
Thank you everyone for the hugs Hug

(12-12-2014 10:25 AM)bemore Wrote:  If you started your own greengrocers then that does not have to be it.... your life selling vegetables until you die. It could simply be one step in a much longer process/plan of achieving financial independence. You could go and get a job in a greengrocers working for somebody else, you would still be disinterested and the only thing making you go would be money. You can still be disinterested in vegetables yet own your own business selling them, working for yourself instead though and taking all of the profits and reaping the rewards.

You seem to have a lot of excuses for things. That is not me having a go nor judging your excuses to be "right or wrong" merely an observation. I exclude your ex boss though as that is an emotional trauma you have little to no control over (at the moment)

What are your dreams? What are your goals? Could you make a plan to achieve these without making excuses, because if everybody did then nothing would get done. YOU have got to make your dreams come true, no one will do it for you.

You have the capabilities to do it, dont keep telling yourself you cant because.... you will believe it.

I may not be able to make all my dreams come true, but that's not what I'm asking for and I don't need a big house, expensive clothes or any luxury. All I want is to be able to make money so that I can save some of it for the future and also be able to spend some of it for the things I enjoy in life, without depending on my family.

I just want a job that doesn't worsen my anxiety.

It's not like I don't believe in myself, I'm rather confident about my capabilities. The problem is the country I live in. I actually went back to classifieds because of this post and, apparently, I'm useless. It only made me cry, seeing that my only hope is washing dishes, and they even ask for experience for that too!

50% of young people here are unemployed. It's not like I can send my resume to McDonald's here and go up from there. McDonald's are probably full of med students and graduates of law school.

People don't get paid. Taxation is ridiculous. Starting a business or going freelance involves so many fees and taxes that you have to start with a huge debt. The distances in the city are huge and transportation is expensive and horribly organized. Are these excuses? I don't know. If they are for me, they are for my unemployed friends too. This country is falling apart. You see it in the news, I see it in the streets. It's hard to understand this from a distance.

I'm convinced that I can't rely on any "plan" for my future. The future here is extremely uncertain and scary. Statistically, I believe, it will take more than a lifetime for this country to recover (if it ever does). That means no time for me.

In only a few years, my dad got fired, my mum's pension was cut in half, family allowances from the government stopped, taxes drained us, even my sister's serious heart condition was somehow considered "of lesser importance" and her disability allowance was stopped for a while. My other sister has been working for 15 years in a bank and her wage is getting lower and lower, with exhausting overtime hours she's not even getting paid for.

And that's not just my family. It's the average Greek family. Oh, it's been really good for us. Yes, even with all that, we've been one of the lucky families.

With thousands being unemployed, why would any employer consider hiring a socially awkward, inexperienced young girl with only a university degree in English?

I'm not sure where I'm going with this again. It's extremely hard to hope for a future. One can never be sure about job stability.

It's just... not that simple.

"Behind every great pirate, there is a great butt."
-Guybrush Threepwood-
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12-12-2014, 10:28 PM
RE: A rant about my life
You seem very certain about the taxes and fees for starting a business? Maybe let's talk through starting such a thing in the next few posts?

I'd suggest maybe tutoring English, as that's your degree. Now, you hand out flyers with your number & email address, you go down to a few local schools and ask if you can stick up a poster, chat to the English teachers & make friends with them, mention that if they've got too many students who need extra lessons they could throw some your way...

It'd be a start. Deal in cash - that way no taxes. You're also your own boss.

Just a thought, you might have tried this already. But you might have other skills you could use - is there anything that you feel you would like to do as a job?

We'll love you just the way you are
If you're perfect -- Alanis Morissette
(06-02-2014 03:47 PM)Momsurroundedbyboys Wrote:  And I'm giving myself a conclusion again from all the facepalming.
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12-12-2014, 10:35 PM
RE: A rant about my life
Pfft. I'm only almost 24. I've got so much more time ahead of me to fail to live up to.

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12-12-2014, 10:37 PM
RE: A rant about my life
But, to be fair - on the bright side (?), every country is fucked, so it's not just Greece. You just got there a couple years before the rest of us caught up.

"First in democracy and philosophy, first in post-industrial oil-less economic collapse". They should put that on the brochures!

I'm sorry. You've caught me at a pessimistic moment.

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13-12-2014, 04:56 AM
RE: A rant about my life
(12-12-2014 10:28 PM)morondog Wrote:  You seem very certain about the taxes and fees for starting a business? Maybe let's talk through starting such a thing in the next few posts?

I'd suggest maybe tutoring English, as that's your degree. Now, you hand out flyers with your number & email address, you go down to a few local schools and ask if you can stick up a poster, chat to the English teachers & make friends with them, mention that if they've got too many students who need extra lessons they could throw some your way...

It'd be a start. Deal in cash - that way no taxes. You're also your own boss.

Just a thought, you might have tried this already. But you might have other skills you could use - is there anything that you feel you would like to do as a job?

Well, starting a business would only be possible with a subsidy, the latest one I've found about starting a new business this year will be given to around 150 people and it has some crazy requirements (for example, if I have an employee, I need to keep him and keep paying him for a certain amount of time after the subsidy money stops, no matter if the business is making money or not). Even if I did manage to get it and started a business with my boyfriend, he'd have to give up his licence for the street market, and he'd probably never be able to take it back. That's quite a huge risk for both of us.

Now, if I wanted to start a business on my own, that would be around 250$ in taxes, at least 500$ to rent a place for the first month and 560$ the first two months as compulsory insurance. And that's leaving out the costs of bills and equipment. That 560$ needs to be paid every two months to keep the business open, no matter if you are making money or not. Considering all that, that is money I simply cannot spend.

You could say, why not risk it if you want to make your dreams come true? What could go wrong? Well, that's what my mum thought too when she signed as a guarantor in her own brother's loans. My aunt too, when she agreed to start her brother's company in her name. They both thought "He's my own brother, what could go wrong?". Well, my family's home is mortgaged and my aunt will go to jail for the debts of my uncle.

Even then, in all the debt, they tried to start a business, and that only ended up in a bigger debt. If something can go wrong in this country, it will. One can't survive without stealing from the state. Even I lied to the state so that I wouldn't pay taxes (I had no money to pay that tax, and it wasn't because of irresponsibility).

There are many problems with being an English teacher.
-Most Greeks are capable of teaching English, given that we are taught English from a very young age and the state invests a lot in that (in my previous job, my colleague's degree was in tourism).
-There are thousands of unemployed English teachers.
-Competition is high because most people offer to teach for only 5$ per hour.
-Flyers and posters of English teachers are literally everywhere and they mostly help in creeps getting your phone number and harrassing you.
-I'm just not a good teacher.

I'd love to be a translator. The market is saturated though and I can't hope for anything like that. I also like making jewelry and I'm quite talented at it. People have told me to start an online shop, but the fees are the same as starting a normal business and keeping it illegally would stress me out. I'm also quite talented at graphic design and photo editing, but no one would hire me without a degree in that.

It's not like I'm not trying. I've told everyone I know that I need a job and what my skills are. An acquaintance of my boyfriend actually has a translation company and he's been informed about me.

Anyway, sorry for the long posts, it's just that the details are needed to explain all this clearly.


(12-12-2014 10:35 PM)cjlr Wrote:  Pfft. I'm only almost 24. I've got so much more time ahead of me to fail to live up to.

You're almost 24? With that mind and eloquence of yours at that age, I wouldn't worry much about your future. But anyway, I was mostly talking about things people do before they get a job or start a career. My university years weren't really happy and carefree.

(12-12-2014 10:37 PM)cjlr Wrote:  But, to be fair - on the bright side (?), every country is fucked, so it's not just Greece. You just got there a couple years before the rest of us caught up.

"First in democracy and philosophy, first in post-industrial oil-less economic collapse". They should put that on the brochures!

I'm sorry. You've caught me at a pessimistic moment.

Yeah, that's pretty much our motto.

However, I dare you to try and live here for a couple of months. Just a couple of months. And not in the summer on an island Tongue

"Behind every great pirate, there is a great butt."
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