A witchy life (my story)
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19-12-2011, 03:31 PM
RE: A witchy life (my story)
(19-12-2011 03:29 PM)kingschosen Wrote:  XD @ Drew and Erxomai

@Leela
Did you ever have any strange crap happen? Like things you can't explain? Creepy things?

Just about everyone has had strange, seemingly inexplicable things happen.

Skepticism is not a position; it is an approach to claims.
Science is not a subject, but a method.
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19-12-2011, 04:16 PM
RE: A witchy life (my story)
@kim: thanks a lot Smile

(19-12-2011 03:29 PM)kingschosen Wrote:  @Leela
Did you ever have any strange crap happen? Like things you can't explain? Creepy things?
Yes I had a few.

I had one thing that creeped me out most of all and it actually took me until just 2 or 3 months ago to get over it completely (after I talked about it with my hun). That was with my first boyfriend. He was into the same stuff but it was a long distance relationship. We lived something like 6 hours away from each other.
One day I was at work and around 2pm I felt a stabbing in my stomach and my heart jumped. That was out of nothing, I was working and it just happened and I thought about my bf immediately so I thought something must have happened to him. In the evening I went online and I asked my bf if he was alright cause I felt something. He told me that he was hiking in the mountains and he slipped and nearly fell down to death at the time I felt that.

Only now when I talked to my hubby about it I understood. He made a good point. I am actually asking things like "are you ok" a lot. I just forget everytime nothing happened. So that time I had asked again and something had happened and incidentally I have had that weird feeling around the same time.
Though I still wonder ... How likely is that. They say people who love each other can be so close... but no idea... I am still stuck a little, but working my way out of the few little rests of weird beliefs Smile

"Freedom is the freedom to say that 2+2=4" - George Orwell (in 1984)
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19-12-2011, 04:52 PM
RE: A witchy life (my story)
Just like Malleus and I have had similar responses to our Christian backgrounds, I think you're in the same sort of emotional boat. I have often regretted not only the things I spent my entire life believing, but even worse in my mind were the beliefs I continued to perpetrate as an ordained minister. But it's been pointed out here, and with an IRL friend who asked me, "But were those good times at the time you were living them?" For the most, part my answer is yes. True, I missed out on some things that I would have done differently like getting into the rock music world and having lots and lots of sex, but for the most part, I enjoyed my former life at the time. So I try to keep those happy memories.

As for the things I regret, some of these are just in my mind. A case in point. When I was a youth pastor, I had a high school kid ask me for the Bible's stance on Homosexuality. At that time, remember I was a borderline Fundy, so I gave the most "liberal" answer I knew, which was something along the lines of the Bible seems to call it a sin, but only the act of homosexuality, not the condition of being a homosexual. Since at that time I did not have any significant friendships with "those kinds of people" it was pretty easy for me to say as long as you're celibate, it's not a sin to be gay. (In the longer version of my de-conversion, becoming friends with lesbians and gays, I realized what a crock all that was and it was not an insigificant factor in deciding that I no longer believed. Sad )
So, back to my story, I found out later the kid had come out as gay. I hadn't spoken to him in years but we have common Facebook friends so I recently wrote to him to apologize for any Christian guilt I had ever burdened him with and explained that I am now an atheist with a lot of regrets. He shared some of his story with me and says that he can look back 9 years ago and sees that time as positive. He learned that not all Christians are mean-spirited and he had a lot of fun in all the great youth group activities we used to do and made lots of great friends that he is still close to. It really touched me that he was able to turn something that was probably very negative for him at the time into good memories. I'm still working to do the same. Smile

All this is being very long-winded on YOUR story, just to share that I think you needn't beat yourself up for what you used to believe. Instead you can celebrate the freedom you have now.

(Preacher, preach to thyself) Smile

It was just a fucking apple man, we're sorry okay? Please stop the madness Laugh out load
~Izel
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19-12-2011, 05:50 PM
RE: A witchy life (my story)
(19-12-2011 04:16 PM)Leela Wrote:  @kim: thanks a lot Smile

(19-12-2011 03:29 PM)kingschosen Wrote:  @Leela
Did you ever have any strange crap happen? Like things you can't explain? Creepy things?
Yes I had a few.

I had one thing that creeped me out most of all and it actually took me until just 2 or 3 months ago to get over it completely (after I talked about it with my hun). That was with my first boyfriend. He was into the same stuff but it was a long distance relationship. We lived something like 6 hours away from each other.
One day I was at work and around 2pm I felt a stabbing in my stomach and my heart jumped. That was out of nothing, I was working and it just happened and I thought about my bf immediately so I thought something must have happened to him. In the evening I went online and I asked my bf if he was alright cause I felt something. He told me that he was hiking in the mountains and he slipped and nearly fell down to death at the time I felt that.

Only now when I talked to my hubby about it I understood. He made a good point. I am actually asking things like "are you ok" a lot. I just forget everytime nothing happened. So that time I had asked again and something had happened and incidentally I have had that weird feeling around the same time.
Though I still wonder ... How likely is that. They say people who love each other can be so close... but no idea... I am still stuck a little, but working my way out of the few little rests of weird beliefs Smile

You're making progress, keep going. The more you understand probability, the clearer it becomes.

Skepticism is not a position; it is an approach to claims.
Science is not a subject, but a method.
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20-12-2011, 04:16 AM
RE: A witchy life (my story)
@ Erxomai:
I don't regret the time. Of course there were weird moments like when I was sure that i killed someone with my mind-battle-whatever-thing or when I felt the need to protect my place with crystals and silly rituals.
But most of the time it was really good for me. I stopped being insecure about lots of things, I had friends, I learned about myself and culture and religions and respect and nature and and and.
So I can understand everyone who says that they had a good time and they don't regret it.
Though of course on the other hand, looking back and realizing in what weirdness we believed in... Dunno

@ Chas: Yes things become clearer on a regular basis and I can call myself a lucky person to have a partner I can talk to about literally everything. That helps a lot Smile

"Freedom is the freedom to say that 2+2=4" - George Orwell (in 1984)
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23-12-2011, 01:37 AM
RE: A witchy life (my story)
I dabbled in about everything in an attempt to find something my mom would be less against than nothing. (she was determined that I believe something). The weirdest event was with a satanist friend doing a ritual out in some woods. During the night there was an odd noise and a really freaky shadow, at you know the point where this ritual works it's way to the point. It's impossible to really know everything by your senses. Until you really learn about electromagnetism and how much energy is everywhere the aura ideas last forever.

Witchcraft was not a large practice of mine as I only dabbled during my preteens and I was poor. I wanted to try it though =p.

I always look to everything with the respect that it's possible, even now. I just generally have my answers for things I've already experienced or researched. But still if you drag me to something I'll try to be involved, because why else be there?

And don't worry Girly, wicca has plenty of lecherous men holding naked sex rituals many of my wiccan friends describe the guys who use it to have sex.

I'm not a non believer, I believe in the possibility of anything. I just don't let the actuality of something be determined by a 3rd party.
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23-12-2011, 05:55 PM
RE: A witchy life (my story)
(23-12-2011 01:37 AM)Lilith Pride Wrote:  And don't worry Girly, wicca has plenty of lecherous men holding naked sex rituals many of my wiccan friends describe the guys who use it to have sex.

Whew, thanks Lilith. I was worried there for a minute.

As it was in the beginning is now and ever shall be, world without end. Amen.
And I will show you something different from either
Your shadow at morning striding behind you
Or your shadow at evening rising to meet you;
I will show you fear in a handful of dust.
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25-12-2011, 07:47 PM
RE: A witchy life (my story)
Sorry for digging this out again but I think it's better than opening a new thread.

I didn't read back in this thread but KC asked about freaky things and someone else about the social aspect.
I answered both from the position I am in now.

I would like to go back a bit and talk about some things during the witchy period, they just want to come out.

I mentioned before, I decided not to accept christianity as a child already and completely dropped it when I was 12/13.
Important to mention is that, of course, some things still were stuck from being a roman catholic, and it kept coming back every now and then that I thought I might just try again, "maybe I didn't try believing hard enough last time."
So I stayed an official member of the catholic church and paid my taxes for it until I was 21. By that time I was so pissed off by it that I changed over to protestant (I had to keep one as otherwise I might have had trouble finding a job).

But from about 13 I was practicing magic. I had been interested in it anyway and when they had a tarot and a pendulum with some explanations (made for teens) in our teeny magazine, I started to actually start trying stuff.

<skipping through the years now>

13 years old
A friend came by at some point. She had been living in egypt for nearly her entire childhood. And she had been living there on the countryside and believed in magic. And she asked me to lay a tarot for her. I did, and I told her what I saw. She was completely freaked out because I was right.

14 years old
I regularly used my pendulum and the tarot deck (which only had 16 cards but worked fine for me). I asked the pendulum everytime I wasn't sure about something.

15 - 17 years old
Mildly christian phase because of my mother but getting more and more screwed by my own believes that I collected from "scientific" shows about the paranormal and some stuff I read and my mother's friend said.

18 - 21
Trying to be religious, even going to church again > Found it very boring and a waste of time. I prepared to move out, I bought my first computer (no internet yet).
Throughout my life my mother had given me a lot of crystals or other stones with supposedly healing auras/forces.... And I really honestly believed in these.

21 years old
Moved out, got internet, got my first boyfriend, learnt practices of witchcraft more, learnt the pagan calendar and a lot of rituals and here starts the freaky stuff.
Freaky 1: I learnt how to defend spirits. <notice I was pretty depressive at the time> Everytime I felt an emotion, no matter which, I was sure it wasn't mine and that it was a spirit that I had to defend. So I wasted a lot of time just sitting there and defending spirits until I felt exhausted and had a headache.
Freaky 2: My mother had a boyfriend who wasn't good for her. I wasn't jealous, he just really wasn't good for her. He was into that witchy stuff too, and my mother at least by that time was easy to influence so she started freaking out about it. She asked my how to defend herself because she knew that I am into that stuff so I told her a technique to block other people out of her mind and mind battle. I mind-battled him. About 6 weeks later or so they found him dead in his appartment and I was sure that it was my mind battle that killed him. I felt very strong but at the same time saw my mother saying it was her fault etc.... Really weird situation.
Freaky 3: Previously mentioned, the thing with my boyfriend in the mountains.... (scroll up for more)

22 years old
I had a few students online and one real life student, the boy I was talking about in the first post.
I got challanged by a non believer and when I couldn't prove my powers to him (by sending a color band into the air at a specific time for him to see it) I told him that I am not here to prove anything. I knew how that seemed but I didn't care. Another person challanged me by saying he would like to learn from me. As he did not have a leap of faith I dropped him and never talked to obvious nonbelievers anymore.
My student did well, he learnt fast and was curious. He asked a lot. He also treated me like his mom kinda because he didn't have one there. He told me his worries and I helped him over some crisis.
Also I left parties early because "Sorry but I feel the emotions of everyone here unfiltered, it's too much, I have to go" This was something I stated a lot of times, on concerts, in the city while shopping, etc... Ultimately I lost two good friends due to that. The only two real friends I had at the time.

23 years old
I started my own forum and had the idea to start a shop to sell magical items. The forum ran pretty well. I had like 30 members, half of them active on a dayly basis. Also won a few more active members as mine started advertising > without me telling them to do so. Got partner forums from similar fields.
At the same time I had just come out from a 2 year long depression and was still not stable. When I was again close to suicide a friend offered me to move in with her and her husband. So I did. It was a witch from that forum. She was very sweet and helped me a lot. But she also caught me in a weak moment and fed my delusions about witchcraft. By now I had books and lots of crystals and incense and what not. I followed the pagan calander with it's holidays.

24 years old
The friend started becoming a nightmare, the more stable I got, the worse she got. At the time I also started my business. I had planned it to be a real shop in a nearby city but I started out as a pure internet business. I made some things myself like soaps, rune sets, wands, oils, ointments, teas.... Other things like books and crystals and so on of course I bought them for selling. It went ok for a starter business.

25 years old
I started questioning my believes and ultimately started dropping things.
The only thing I really still held on to was the spirits and reincarnation.
Also I met Malleus for the first time who was in the process of becoming an atheist, too.
By the end of that year I dropped my business, I dropped the rest of my beliefs, I packed my stuff and moved in with Malleus Wink

And there I am, 27, atheist, and happy *points to her ringfinger*

"Freedom is the freedom to say that 2+2=4" - George Orwell (in 1984)
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25-12-2011, 08:36 PM
RE: A witchy life (my story)
Makes me think about ritual and how as part of human emotion can actually be a good method to teach
This might seem wierd but if you perform rituals it kind of gives something a kind of intangible meaning to it xD
Am i crazy? just bear with me on this.
What if you have a hypthetical son/daughter, and every saturday you took him for an hour or two teaching him about something real like physics
or any science, morality or actual life lessons and maybe doing something practical (small scale home made chemistry experiments). no fairy tales or superstition. that might have the benifit of quality time, educational and fun vibe to it. and satisfies the natural curiosity a child has of the world and both parent and child can learn a thing or two.
reminds me of the talk between dawkins and degrasse tyson about children, and when you cant answer a question you can always say "i dunno, lets go find out"
in this case Ritual = : done in accordance with social custom or normal protocol (meriam webster)

any thoughts on this?

"Yeah, good idea. Make them buy your invisible apple. Insist that they do. Market it properly and don't stop until they pay for it." -Malleus
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26-12-2011, 04:56 AM
RE: A witchy life (my story)
@ Jackrabbit:
Well about rituals, and that's the same thing I taught my students back then, is everything you do exactly that way over and over again:
# Put on pyjama - brush teeth - read - sleep
# Boil water - cook noodles - put noodles in strainer - serve
# Wake up at 7 on a sunday - breakfast - get dressed - go to church
# Burn incense - light a candle - meditate

So yes, you can make a science lesson a ritual. And that might actually be a fun ritual Smile


And I just wanted to add something to my whole withcraft experience.
For all the stuff that you do for others like Tarot, pendulum, light a candle, etc the only things you need for that > being able to read people well + being able to listen and observe well. "I light a candle for you" = "I pray for you"
This is why all hand readers / tarot people / seers / etc are frauds. They simply read people that's all. And most of the time they aren't even doing it well.
It's all psychology > it's easy.

cheers

"Freedom is the freedom to say that 2+2=4" - George Orwell (in 1984)
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