AA - Atheists and Alcoholism
Post Reply
 
Thread Rating:
  • 0 Votes - 0 Average
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
09-07-2016, 08:58 PM
RE: AA - Atheists and Alcoholism
(09-07-2016 08:53 PM)Thumpalumpacus Wrote:  
(09-07-2016 08:46 PM)GirlyMan Wrote:  I've tried it. I find it intolerably boring and tedious.

Anhedonia is a bitch, no doubt. But for me, the good so outweighs the bad.

That appears to be temporary for most in sobriety. Consider

Skepticism is not a position; it is an approach to claims.
Science is not a subject, but a method.
[Image: flagstiny%206.gif]
Visit this user's website Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
09-07-2016, 09:00 PM
RE: AA - Atheists and Alcoholism
Fred, if you want to talk, I'll PM you my number.

You're not alone, brotha.
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 1 user Likes Thumpalumpacus's post
09-07-2016, 09:23 PM (This post was last modified: 09-07-2016 09:31 PM by GirlyMan.)
RE: AA - Atheists and Alcoholism
(09-07-2016 08:48 PM)Chas Wrote:  
(09-07-2016 08:46 PM)GirlyMan Wrote:  I've tried it. I find it intolerably boring and tedious.

That's what all the drunks say until they actually get sober. Drinking Beverage

Greenthumb GirlyBoyIII is working on that. "If we can produce cannabis strains which eliminate the seizures in epileptics, we can produce strains which satisfy drunks enough to keep them from pickling their organs."

"Damn son. You gonna get your PhD and shit?"

"The fuck you talking about Dad. I'm starting a thread on grasscity.com."

#sigh
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
09-07-2016, 10:25 PM
RE: AA - Atheists and Alcoholism
(09-07-2016 06:45 PM)Chas Wrote:  
(09-07-2016 04:22 PM)ImFred Wrote:  Bump

I'm an alcoholic and need help

I think the higher power part works for them via placebo effect

No one should be court assigned AA

The people at AA seem kind

I know with all certainty there is no interventionist higher power

No higher power at all

But this is life or death serious for me

I need help

I am an atheist and have always been. In October, I will be 25 years sober and I got sober in AA.

I found AA groups that were largely secular and most of us considered the group our higher power. It's group therapy, it's real, and it works.
If you find yourself at an uncomfortably religious meeting, find a different one. If the group has a bunch of Bible thumpers, find another group.
I made no secret of my atheism in AA and I make no secret of my alcoholism here.

If you want to talk about it privately, you are welcome to PM me.
However, I have no problem sharing this openly because it can help people in your situation.

Finding a less Jesusy group is a great idea. Unfortunately I live in Shit--Fuck Jesusland. I mean like EVERYBODY down here sooner or later starts up talking about their work in the fucking ministry or some other idiotic shit. But maybe not everybody. I'll go back to the group I went to and ask if there's a less religious one in town. I'll be respectful about it. I know I sound bitter but I don't really begrudge them their faith. I can't help but think it's stupid, though, because it is. Thanks for the reply.
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 1 user Likes I'mFred's post
09-07-2016, 10:26 PM
RE: AA - Atheists and Alcoholism
(09-07-2016 09:00 PM)Thumpalumpacus Wrote:  Fred, if you want to talk, I'll PM you my number.

You're not alone, brotha.

Thank you.
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 1 user Likes I'mFred's post
10-07-2016, 01:07 AM (This post was last modified: 10-07-2016 01:11 AM by Thumpalumpacus.)
RE: AA - Atheists and Alcoholism
(09-07-2016 07:03 PM)Thumpalumpacus Wrote:  I'm an alcoholic. I am on my phone at work right now, which makes long posting a PITA, but I will relate my experiences with addiction and recovery when I get home.

Thanks for starting this thread.

I went into the Air Force at 22 as a light social drinker. I came out drinking pretty heavily, but still not full-blown alcoholism -- when I met my son's mom and she demanded I quit, I did, with no problem, like turning off a switch. No DTs, no PAWS, no problem.

When we broke up six years later, I started drinking again, not every night, and not much when I did, but as the years ran along the numbers rose -- more night, more beers per night (left off hard liquor and mixed drinks while I was in the Air Force, hated how fast they hit me). Up to last years, I was drinking a six-pack a night after work, and on days off that'd go to eight or ten ... sometimes a 12er. It caused problems in my relationship with my girl, but quitting seemed worse than lying, so I took the drunk's course and lied about my drinking while I kept up the same song and dance.

That decision cost me my relationship with the woman I love. Towards the end of the relationship, I realized that I had to do something, and so I started working on sobriety on my own. I got a month, slipped and fell for a week, got a couple more sober weeks, slipped again, and it dawned on me that two facts were regnant: 1) I couldn't do this myself, and 2) I had to address the underlying issues that made me think intoxication was a rational response to reality.

It was at that point too late for Harmony and myself; my addiction had destroyed the trust in our relationship; but it was not too late for me. I started going to AA in January. As an atheist, the HP crap bothered me, especially when friends told me "your HP can be the doorknob." A doorknob? Well, no, a doorknob ain't gonna give me strength. I had to find that in myself. Still I went to AA meetings. My first one was in a really Bible-thumping group, closed (meaning alcoholics only, no other addicts), and unsatisfying. So I checked out another one, liked it better though it was still very religious. I went to be around people who were where I am emotionally and physically -- an addict, lost, finding my way back. The religious stuff still got under my skin, though.

So six weeks ago I finally heard back from the Veteran's Administration here, which runs a Substance Abuse Treatment Program, and started attending group therapy there. It's a much better fit for me there. We share some of the same tools as both AA and Rational Recovery approaches to sobriety, and I'm much more comfortable around other vets who get what I'm saying -- and by expanding on it themselves, help me to understand better why I became this way.

For me, the main tools to my recovery are these:

1) Mindfulness: being aware of the flow of my emotions in an objective manner, so that I can either steer them into a better channel, or put them out of mind until I'm in a better place to process them.

2) Oddly enough for an atheist, the Serenity Prayer. Of course I don't pray, and don't believe in any god(s), but telling myself, "Grant me the strength to change what I can, the serenity to accept what I cannot change, and the wisdom to know the difference" is a great way of reminding me that I do have the power of judgement, which can often guide my decision to be emotionally invested in an event. If I cannot change something that makes me unhappy, I can at least work to minimize its presence in my life. And if I can change something, that positive decision translates into motivation and momentum ... especially once the results roll in.

3) Living in the now. I can't change the past, and I can't control tomorrow. I can only control what I myself do at this moment. And if I can't decide what that should be, I make a "date" for it -- "This makes me unhappy, but I don't know what I should do about it. Therefore I will think about it tonight at one AM when I get home from work." Often, by then, what seemed like a huge deal turns out to be, if not forgotten, at least trivial.

4) Gratituding. When I find myself in a bad emotional spot, I challenge myself: "Okay, you've got thirty seconds. Think of three things you're grateful for in your life right now. Go!" And in addition to that, keeping a gratitude list in a notebook on a (mostly) daily basis. And in addition to that, expressing my gratitude to the folks in my life at the moment the feeling arises in me.

5) Forgiveness. Forgiving myself for being a hypocrite and an asshole in the past, and making sure I don't repeat that behavior. Forgiving others whom I think have wronged me, understanding that they too may be in an emotional jungle and not sure of their surroundings. And asking forgiveness of others when I wrong them.

6) Songwriting. I'm dealing with the roots of the emotional disturbances in me through songs in order to get at the base reasons for wanting to anesthetize my feelings.

Sorry for the loooooong post. It's complicated and I'm still working my way through things.
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 7 users Like Thumpalumpacus's post
10-07-2016, 04:28 AM
RE: AA - Atheists and Alcoholism
Quote:Up to last years, I was drinking a six-pack a night after work, and on days off that'd go to eight or ten ... sometimes a 12er.

To put context on the severity of my situation I'm consuming twice that much.
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
10-07-2016, 05:37 AM
RE: AA - Atheists and Alcoholism
(09-07-2016 10:25 PM)ImFred Wrote:  
(09-07-2016 06:45 PM)Chas Wrote:  I am an atheist and have always been. In October, I will be 25 years sober and I got sober in AA.

I found AA groups that were largely secular and most of us considered the group our higher power. It's group therapy, it's real, and it works.
If you find yourself at an uncomfortably religious meeting, find a different one. If the group has a bunch of Bible thumpers, find another group.
I made no secret of my atheism in AA and I make no secret of my alcoholism here.

If you want to talk about it privately, you are welcome to PM me.
However, I have no problem sharing this openly because it can help people in your situation.

Finding a less Jesusy group is a great idea. Unfortunately I live in Shit--Fuck Jesusland. I mean like EVERYBODY down here sooner or later starts up talking about their work in the fucking ministry or some other idiotic shit. But maybe not everybody. I'll go back to the group I went to and ask if there's a less religious one in town. I'll be respectful about it. I know I sound bitter but I don't really begrudge them their faith. I can't help but think it's stupid, though, because it is. Thanks for the reply.

If you find some people, even a couple of people, who are simply accepting of a non-religious practice of AA, you could start your own group and meetings.

Skepticism is not a position; it is an approach to claims.
Science is not a subject, but a method.
[Image: flagstiny%206.gif]
Visit this user's website Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 3 users Like Chas's post
10-07-2016, 07:04 AM
RE: AA - Atheists and Alcoholism
(10-07-2016 04:28 AM)ImFred Wrote:  
Quote:Up to last years, I was drinking a six-pack a night after work, and on days off that'd go to eight or ten ... sometimes a 12er.

To put context on the severity of my situation I'm consuming twice that much.
For you, it takes twice as much to get to the same place. Sorry for that brother.
My tolerance was never that high. My dad's was unbelievable. I am sure I inherited some of the tendency from him.
Dad never drank past midnight. He functioned at a state job, never missed work, never drank at lunch, etc.
Work was ~35 minutes from home, and he had to stop at a bar on the way home 'just to take the edge off'.
They had a chimney glass on the bar with 5 well shots of whiskey in it. Repeat 3 times over a half hour, get in the car, drive home and park, walk to the local joint to 'get drunk'. 15 shots of whiskey would come right back out of me!
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 1 user Likes skyking's post
10-07-2016, 08:47 AM
RE: AA - Atheists and Alcoholism
I hope that all of you that are seeking sobriety make it there. I stopped drinking many, many years ago. It was never really my thing and my family tree had/has alcoholics clinging to every limb. I didn't want to become one of them. Luckily, I don't seem to have the brain chemistry to make drinking irresistible.

My father was a 'high-functioning' alcoholic. He always worked...he had his own business and was on call 24/7. Alcohol did make his rages more unpredictable and much worse as his inhibitions were lessened.

My mother though had periods of barely functioning. She was mean as hell and her tongue cut like a knife. We (kids, family, friends, and acquaintances) never knew exactly what to expect from her. A contemporary of my parents described her as a loose cannon. She effectively removed all of us from family. She was a horrible mother. She was emotionally, verbally, and physically abusive. She was hospitalized several times for her drinking. Sometimes she was worse when she wasn't drinking...a dry drunk, I think it's called.

The combination of my parents together was akin to fueling a fire. They fed off each other and drinking escalated it all.

Drinking was something that officially started at home at 5 pm. The bar was always fully stocked and turning down the offer of a drink seen as the ultimate insult to my mother. There were also times when her drinking went on around the clock with stashed bottles found hidden all over the house.

One of my kids told me recently that they don't ever recall seeing me drunk. I was a mom at age 20. Yeah I was still drinking for about a decade after that. I didn't want my kids to ever see me like behave like my mother...one of my biggest fears.

While I have never had to fight an addiction to alcohol...I do know what the fallout can be for those close to someone who is either fighting it or who hasn't reached that point yet. I read a lot of books some years back trying to come to terms with what I went through with my parents. I was able to find a lot of material about being an adult child of an alcoholic. Those books focused on having one alcoholic parent...not two. I could find information on having an alcoholic father and on having an alcoholic mother...I was never able to find anything that addressed the compounded issues of having both. I didn't deal with an alcoholic and an enabler...I dealt with those issues squared.

My best to everyone who has a problem with drinking. Heart

See here they are the bruises some were self-inflicted and some showed up along the way. - JF

We're all mad here. The Cheshire Cat

Are my Chakras on straight?
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 1 user Likes Anjele's post
Post Reply
Forum Jump: