About the death of my parents: The murder
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21-12-2011, 03:18 PM
About the death of my parents: The murder
My therapist says it might be a good idea to write a lot to get the sadness under control. I might give it a try.

My parents lived in a rural area of Belgium. My father, his friends, my bother and me build the house from scratch over a period of 5 years. The plan incorporated a studio downstairs so me, my brother or sister could stay while on a visit (it’s more then a 2h drive). After my sisters death (she had a hiking accident in 1995) we found out that the studio wasn’t going to be used what it was planned for. My mother started a bed and breakfast so she could meet people. Since mother wasn’t in it for the money, she didn’t charge a lot, this attracted a lot of guests. Mothers plan worked smooth. She made a lot of friends from all over the world. Hundreds of people spend a nice time in the B&B; many returned every year.

A reputation of a thousand years can be made undone by one disaster...

Th 24 nov 2011
A man checks in at the B & B. I believe my father told me he was send to them by the local tourist information. My father collects him since he doesn't travel by car. Although this is unusual, it’s not the first time dad does this.

Fr 25 nov 2011
On a day off, I drive towards my parents to collect the firewood I bought for this year. I charge my car and trailer and go to the house to visit them. Mother tells me about the guest she has and they enjoy supper with. She tells me that he's there for National Geographic, and that he's waiting for the rest of the camera crew (including Russians an polish members). They are there to film the "horse-drawn forest management" the area is famous for. My father could join them. He also tells mom she doesn't charge enough. He also tells them he was in Russia before to film stuff. Although this all sounds way off, it isn’t the first time dad was filmed.
I'm in a hurry, I still need to drive back (charged-->slow) unload and collect my daughter from the nanny. So we talk about her guest for a few minutes and the I go to my car. While entering I see a man exiting the B&B about 30m from me. He's all dressed in hiking outfit. Mom refers to him and says about me "this is our youngest" I say Hi, while thinking that it is to bad I doesn’t have enough time to talk to him since I think he has an interesting life. I say bye to mom: "until next time" while I drive off. That was the last time I saw my mother...

Sat 26 & sun 27
An aunt comes to visit my parents. Later I hear she never saw any trace of the other members of the camera crew. She does find a note that the guest is visiting a soccer match nearby. She has a pleasant weekend with my parents.

Mon 28 nov
According to the police report and post mortem, My parents enjoy breakfast with their guest...

Around 9 or 10, he strangles my dad with a shoelace. Although a lively sharp minded and strong 70 year old man and a Veteran, he is caught of guard within his own house by someone he just had breakfast with. A few moments later he murders my mom in the same way. He drags her out of sight and tries to hide her in the wardrobe. He steals the car and the laptop (a thousand in a dozen car and low-end laptop) and drives off.

That evening my nieces wait in vain for their grandparents to collect them after school.

Tue 29 nov 2011
Again my nieces wait in vain for my parents. They become a bit uneasy and ask their neighbour to drive by so they can check. They find blood, they run outside screaming! The neighbour enters and finds my mother. She calls my sister in law. She calls me. She asks me If I know where my father is. My wife, previously informed, tells me my mother is death. I start packing stuff for the voyage and the search for my father. While doing that, my sister in law calls me back. my father is found as well. I hope for a while it’s an accident, carbon monoxide or something like that. Then she calls me back. Both the car and the computer are missing. Father was found downstairs, mother upstairs.

I snap!

We arrive at the house 2 hours later. everything looks surreal. All the lights are up. A small army of investigators go in and out. I see movement behind the curtains of the B&B and flashes of cameras. I remember thinking that it looks just like in the movies.
I hate movies!!
After a 1h1/2 wait in a police car and watching this uneasy scene I get introduced to a friendly investigator. They take me to the office and ask me questions under oath of witness. I tell him everything I know about my parents, my family and the Friday before. (I have a "condition" called HSP. This means I see about two to three times as much in a situation or scene then average. This turns out very handy) It 'll take 4 hours.
It’s 3am as the officer drops me off at the farm of a befriended Shepard where my wife and daughter lodge.

Wed
I 'don’t remember much of that day.
I remember breaking down at a certain moment, and a kind doctor prescribing stuff that made me sleep. I remember being afraid while alone as well. Trying to puzzle pieces I start to think that the Russian/Polish friends of "The adventurer" indeed have arrived to do filthy business, that my father caught them, and that panic broke loose.

Thu
I believe we (my bother, and my two nieces) went to the undertaker that day. I also went to the police office to "recognise some mugs". I thought I recognised "The adventurer". (Later we will find out I was right). That evening we return home.

Fri
Late in the evening I receive a phone call from the police. "The adventurer" turned himself in voluntarily. He doesn't know why he did this. The car was found about 300km from the place it was stolen. 300km towards the sea. Everything in that direction is a dead end. Huh

My parents loving, kind an friendly, fell victim to a madman. Later we will find he's also... a serial killer...

I stood eye to eye with a serial killer...



Later I'll post more about the funeral and the aftermath.
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21-12-2011, 03:23 PM
RE: About the death of my parents: The murder
I can't imagine what you're going through.

Just reading this, knowing that this happened to someone I can/do associate with, is surreal.

I know you don't believe in prayers but mine are with you and your family.

[Image: vjp09.gif]
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21-12-2011, 03:25 PM
RE: About the death of my parents: The murder
(21-12-2011 03:23 PM)kingschosen Wrote:  I know you don't believe in prayers but mine are with you and your family.
I see them as an effort from your part of the philosophical spectrum.

Thanks.

Observer

Agnostic atheist
Secular humanist
Emotional rationalist
Disclaimer: Don’t mix the personal opinion above with the absolute and objective truth. Remember to think for yourself. Thank you.
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21-12-2011, 03:37 PM
RE: About the death of my parents: The murder
Damn dude. I don't know what to say.

“Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it's time to pause and reflect.”

-Mark Twain
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21-12-2011, 03:38 PM
RE: About the death of my parents: The murder
I have been thinking about you and wondering how you're doing. Deepest sympathy. My thoughts are with you.
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21-12-2011, 03:38 PM
RE: About the death of my parents: The murder
Ik kan dit niet in het engels, wat een verhaal, sterkte.
Ik begrijp dat de dader is gepakt?
Anders via PM.

For the others, My English isn't so good to write what I want to write.

Note: To send this message, no trees cut down,
although there are many electrons severely hindered.
All the bits are reused.

Future World

73 Jim .--. . .---- .-. . .- PE1REA
Email, put amsat dot org behind the call
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21-12-2011, 04:26 PM
RE: About the death of my parents: The murder
I'm really sorry about all of this. You'll just have to learn to keep going despite. There are things you can never really go past. I would say from experience that writing it out in public really does help. I've never cared that much what responses I get to admitting my deep seated issues, but that someone besides me hears what I'm troubled with makes me feel a bit easier. You have plenty of life left to live, keep yourself open. If you let yourself close up with this then life will become much more difficult to continue.

I really appreciate that you're still here, goes to show that occasionally this motley crew makes you laugh.

I'm not a non believer, I believe in the possibility of anything. I just don't let the actuality of something be determined by a 3rd party.
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21-12-2011, 05:10 PM
RE: About the death of my parents: The murder
It isn't good to keep your feelings inside and writing is sometimes easier than speaking your mind. I hope you and your family are able to take care of each other... it's also good that you have a therapist to advise you.
It doesn't seem like there is a positive perspective right now... I don't know if there ever can be when something like this takes place.

Please take care to keep your health and the wellbeing of your family.
Heart We are here if you need to write more.

I think in the end, I just feel like I'm a secular person who has a skeptical eye toward any extraordinary claim, carefully examining any extraordinary evidence before jumping to conclusions. ~ Eric ~ My friend ... who figured it out.
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21-12-2011, 05:44 PM (This post was last modified: 21-12-2011 08:34 PM by ddrew.)
RE: About the death of my parents: The murder
I can relate to the loss of a parent.. but in a way of watching a disease slowly take them from me.

You got blindsided by this murderer.. unexpected. In this I cannot relate. My best wishes to your healing and getting though this.

Those who can make you believe absurdities can make you commit atrocities. -- Voltaire
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21-12-2011, 06:06 PM
RE: About the death of my parents: The murder
I hope this, and anything else you do, helps you to continue with your life with a degree of peace.

Honestly mate, I really hope you can find a way to carry on with your life.

You know where we all are if you need people to talk to.

Best and worst of Ferdinand .....
Best
Ferdinand: We don't really say 'theist' in Alabama. Here, you're either a Christian, or you're from Afghanistan and we fucking hate you.
Worst
Ferdinand: Everyone from British is so, like, fucking retarded.
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