Accidentally in love with a Christian friend who's leaving for Africa in 2 days
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08-08-2014, 11:50 PM
Accidentally in love with a Christian friend who's leaving for Africa in 2 days
I messed up and fell for a girl who our entire friendship was founded on religious discussions. She being a devout Christian, and me a staunch atheist, I don't know how we were able to be friends. Other than our total disagreement on the subject of faith and religion, we get along really well, and she's just really fun to be with. I've never told her how I feel because I know how the people are in her circles of Christian friends. If she and I were to date, they would treat her like dirt. She's leaving in two days to live in Africa for two years for a mission/teaching job. I just don't know if I should tell her how I feel or just let it go, and find a secular woman like I probably should have done in the first place.
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09-08-2014, 12:25 AM
RE: Accidentally in love with a Christian friend who's leaving for Africa in 2 days
We more often regret what we don't do rather than what we do (apart from the illegal stuff).

I say tell her.

Her circle of friends won't be joining her in Africa, will they?

Apart from which, spreading the lie of christianity to more Africans is a crime against humanity ... is it not your duty to sow some doubt before she leaves?
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09-08-2014, 01:15 AM
RE: Accidentally in love with a Christian friend who's leaving for Africa in 2 days
As far as I know, she is going alone, so her circle of friends shouldn't be following her.

The truth is very important to her, and if she knew that she was causing more damage than good, I think she would feel horrible. I know her intentions are good though. She truly believes she is helping them by sharing Jesus. She told me that the place she is going is predominantly Muslim, and that some of the children they speak to about Jesus get beaten if they're caught talking to them. I asked her if she thought it was a good idea to teach these people about something that's just going to make their lives harder than it is already. She told me that those who are persecuted in Christ are blessed.

I am leaning towards telling her though. She's going to 6000 miles away from everyone she knows, maybe it will be good for her to know that a nonbeliever is thinking about her. I guess I'm just afraid that our last time seeing each other is going to be her telling me she could never be with me because I'm an atheist.
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09-08-2014, 01:20 AM
RE: Accidentally in love with a Christian friend who's leaving for Africa in 2 days
I suspect that it all hinges on how you tell her.
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09-08-2014, 03:03 AM
RE: Accidentally in love with a Christian friend who's leaving for Africa in 2 days
(09-08-2014 01:15 AM)exPrayerWarrior Wrote:  As far as I know, she is going alone, so her circle of friends shouldn't be following her.

The truth is very important to her, and if she knew that she was causing more damage than good, I think she would feel horrible. I know her intentions are good though. She truly believes she is helping them by sharing Jesus. She told me that the place she is going is predominantly Muslim, and that some of the children they speak to about Jesus get beaten if they're caught talking to them. I asked her if she thought it was a good idea to teach these people about something that's just going to make their lives harder than it is already. She told me that those who are persecuted in Christ are blessed.

I am leaning towards telling her though. She's going to 6000 miles away from everyone she knows, maybe it will be good for her to know that a nonbeliever is thinking about her. I guess I'm just afraid that our last time seeing each other is going to be her telling me she could never be with me because I'm an atheist.

She is risking her life. You may as well tell her as you may never see her again.

Skepticism is not a position; it is an approach to claims.
Science is not a subject, but a method.
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09-08-2014, 04:08 AM
RE: Accidentally in love with a Christian friend who's leaving for Africa in 2 days
There are atheist/religious couples that make a relationship work. It's possible, you're not required to "find a secular woman." And we can't just choose who we fall in love with! I foresee that you'll regret it if you don't tell her. There'll always be that "what if.." in your mind.

Atheism is the only way to truly be free from sin.
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09-08-2014, 04:36 AM
RE: Accidentally in love with a Christian friend who's leaving for Africa in 2 days
If she's away for two years then you might find someone else in that time. Or she might find someone in that time as well.

When she returns you'll both be different people with different experiences and will need to re-establish a relationship on that basis.

I suppose then it doesn't really matter whether you tell her or not unless it influenced her to stay.
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09-08-2014, 05:00 AM
RE: Accidentally in love with a Christian friend who's leaving for Africa in 2 days
Where's she going, out of interest? Us merry Africans tend to export missionaries to Europe these days, there's no lack of Christians over here. I reckon there's an oversupply.

We'll love you just the way you are
If you're perfect -- Alanis Morissette
(06-02-2014 03:47 PM)Momsurroundedbyboys Wrote:  And I'm giving myself a conclusion again from all the facepalming.
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09-08-2014, 05:45 AM
RE: Accidentally in love with a Christian friend who's leaving for Africa in 2 days
I love romance. Tell her and kiss her. If all goes extra well, she will love you back and she won't go to Africa...

Good luck!

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09-08-2014, 09:48 AM
RE: Accidentally in love with a Christian friend who's leaving for Africa in 2 days
Thank you all for the advice! Her sister is getting married today and she has asked me to play for her wedding, so today is the last chance for me to see her. I've decided that no matter what, I'm going to tell her after the ceremony during the reception. I don't expect to talk her out of going, I just hope it will encourage her to keep in contact, and maybe in 2 years if we're both still single for some reason something can happen.
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