Action cures fear
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28-01-2016, 11:14 AM
Action cures fear
Does action cure fear? What do you think?

I've believed in this mindset the last couple of years when approaching something that terrifies me. This could range from going to the grocery store during the first of the month or driving on a busy interstate.

I graduated from high school in 2009 and went right on to college in the fall of that year. At the time, I'd been in a relationship with my first love for over a year. Young love. Things began going south at that time. She was about two years younger than me, and I was the first ever person she'd been in a relationship with. Her immaturity and latent jealousy became an issue. I had zero idea on how to handle it at the time. That relationship consumed my life, I neglected my schoolwork and stopped going to all my classes, sans one (my 8am Tuesday/Thursday English class). In 2010, I didn't resume going to college. She eventually (perhaps inevitably) cheated on me.

I spent 2010-2013 telling myself all the time, "Hey, bro. Go back to college." I was mentally and emotionally a wreck at the time. I stayed depressed over her for far too long (unhealthy mentalities ran rampant in my head). I was suspended in the prison of my mind thanks to perpetual laziness and procrastination. I was too scared to even go to the college to sign up. I had mild social anxiety brought on by practically being a hermit. I literally accomplished nothing in my life between 2010 to 2013. They were wasted years in every sense. I made a "pact" with myself in June 2013 that I'd return to college in 2014. And I did.

Nothing changed. I just forced myself to speak with an advisor on the campus about signing up for classes. I forced myself to do things (that were necessary) that I didn't want to do, since I was handicapped by fear. I signed up for a public speaking class during the fall of 2014 on the spot. I volunteered to go first for every speech in that class. I thought that, hey, everybody in the classroom felt some kind of natural anxiety about standing up in front of a group and speaking, and that giving a speech first would 1.) get it out of the way, and 2.) people would be too busy feeling anxious about giving their speeches, so much so, that they'd hardly pay attention to what you would do or say. Around this time period, I started using the "1, 2, 3, go" method when doing something I felt anxiety/fear over. When I'd get to "go" in my brain, I'd do what I needed/felt compelled to do even if I didn't want to.

Getting out of your comfort zone is so goddamn imperative in life when it comes to growing or making strides in personal development. I know this is said everywhere, in about every personal development text, but it's true.

Going back to college scared the shit out of me. Sure, I'd only been 'out' for five years, but I want to reiterate that between 2010-2013, I genuinely accomplished nothing in my life. NOTHING. I can't emphasize that enough. To go from doing jack squat for that many years to having to be disciplined enough in school to succeed scared the shit out of me. I doubted myself that I'd be able to do it. But I just went with it, anyway, and looked around at people that were going forth and said, "If they can do it, I can, too".

I still struggle, and probably always will with such things, but I'm better at adapting and challenging myself than I was yesterday, and the day before that, and so on and so forth.

Perhaps this isn't a ridiculously deep topic to delve into, in terms of philosophy, but I wanted to share a self-induced setback that I overcame. I made poor choices and was crippled by fear for a few years but have been taking action ever since. If I can, anyone can. Absolutely.
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28-01-2016, 11:20 AM
RE: Action cures fear
So happy that you overcame fear/anxiety to move on with your dreams. So agree, do what scares you, step outside your comfort zone and wonderful things can happen Smile

"Let the waters settle and you will see the moon and stars mirrored in your own being." -Rumi
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28-01-2016, 11:22 AM
RE: Action cures fear
Also, check out my Gandhi quote--words I live by Tongue

"Let the waters settle and you will see the moon and stars mirrored in your own being." -Rumi
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28-01-2016, 11:26 AM
RE: Action cures fear
Not so sure it's action, maybe it's change?

Of course it takes action to produce change.

Either way, one needs to step out of the mind set that is static in fear.

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28-01-2016, 11:36 AM
RE: Action cures fear
(28-01-2016 11:26 AM)Dom Wrote:  Not so sure it's action, maybe it's change?

Of course it takes action to produce change.

Either way, one needs to step out of the mind set that is static in fear.

I agree, I think it's action which produces change. Action (or the action of facing your fears) can create a change in the way you perceive said fear. It's behavior modification by facing an anxiety producing stimulus--you are retraining your brain not to have a fight or flight reaction.

"Let the waters settle and you will see the moon and stars mirrored in your own being." -Rumi
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28-01-2016, 11:37 AM
RE: Action cures fear
I don't always succeed but I aspire to this aphorism: Do something every day that gives you butterflies.

Pushing the limits of our envelopes doesn't only ensure growth, or enlargement of capability, it also prevents cloistering, or diminishment of capability. Staying comfortable all the time will steadily erode your range of activities, as every activity has some element of risk. You gotta keep pushing just to keep your box from closing in on you.
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28-01-2016, 11:43 AM
RE: Action cures fear
Action will conquer fear, I don't know if it cures it. Consider

However, you have displayed a great deal of courage. Courage consists of taking action despite the fear.

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28-01-2016, 11:44 AM
RE: Action cures fear
Quote: I forced myself to do things (that were necessary) that I didn't want to do, since I was handicapped by fear.
This is, perhaps, as close to a perfect definition of COURAGE as one could get without quoting from a dictionary.

Courage cannot not exist without fear. Don't worry about curing fear. Focus on training yourself to recognize fear and to do what needs to be done in spite of it. Action, then, becomes courage.

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28-01-2016, 11:44 AM
RE: Action cures fear
(28-01-2016 11:43 AM)Chas Wrote:  Action will conquer fear, I don't know if it cures it. Consider

However, you have displayed a great deal of courage. Courage consists of taking action despite the fear.

Thumbsup

You beat me to it.

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28-01-2016, 12:29 PM
RE: Action cures fear
Question:
What if your preferred state is 'inaction' as in "why can't the world go away and leave me alone?"

Every action will be an annoyance ... something that you have to do ... reluctantly.

So 'fear' is not a factor. But I'm not sure how else to describe it.

(28-01-2016 11:14 AM)UndauntedToast Wrote:  ...
Getting out of your comfort zone is so goddamn imperative in life when it comes to growing or making strides in personal development. I know this is said everywhere, in about every personal development text, but it's true.
...

To extend this ... what if everything you do is outside your comfort zone because you've left that zone so far behind that you can't remember where you put it?

And yes, I'm being playful with language. I understand what a comfort is and how every personal development expands that zone (rather than new skills being incorporated into fixed-sized zone).

I diagramise this in class:
A circle that is the Comfort Zone, the "I can" state.
A circle around that called the Learning Zone; the "I will" state.
The space around that larger circle is the Panic Zone (fear); the "I can't" state.

The message of the diagram is to teach the class about human reaction to change when it's forced upon them. Good governance and management will recognise that people might feel forced (or fall) into their Panic Zone and we must find methods to help them back into their Learning Zone. If not, people will jump from "I can't" to "I won't" i.e. move from their Panic Zone to their Comfort Zone and from then on be resistant to change.

Back to my extended question ... that's just a personal gripe. I'm just tired of being in my Learning Zone every fucking day ... I can so empathise with those who want to stay in their fixed-sized (or even shrinking) Comfort Zone ... not out of fear but out of fatigue.

Does this sound like I'm getting tired of life? Sorry.
But I feel better for getting that off my chest.

Weeping

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