Adoption
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21-04-2014, 09:41 PM
RE: Adoption
Good luck.

NOTE: Member, Tomasia uses this site to slander other individuals. He then later proclaims it a joke, but not in public.
I will call him a liar and a dog here and now.
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21-04-2014, 09:53 PM
RE: Adoption
Some adoption agencies are run by Christian organizations, so I suppose that could be an 'unofficial' issue, if you get what I mean.

Make some calls, look for adoption agencies online for your area. Maybe you could foster first through the state...my husband's aunt did that and ended up adopting two sisters when their mother's rights were ended.

I have a friend in the Chicago area that just let me know they were heading back to China in May for their third child from there. They also have twin girls from Russia. But I do remember him telling me that the twins were two for the price of one. From what I gather, those adoptions were expensive and were through religion-based organizations.

Good luck!

See here they are the bruises some were self-inflicted and some showed up along the way. - JF

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22-04-2014, 02:04 AM
RE: Adoption
You could always avoid the issue by saying that you were baptised but don't regularly go to church. You aren't lying then, just ommiting information that you are an atheist. They will assume that you are default christians.
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22-04-2014, 05:41 AM (This post was last modified: 22-04-2014 06:40 AM by Cathym112.)
RE: Adoption
Oh I could talk to you for hours about this. PM me if you want. I don't want to be a naysayer, I just want you to have the other side of the information that I'm finding that very few people talk about. Adoptions of infants is, surprisingly, a largely unregulated industry. And that leads to corruption.

My husband and I are on the edge of this process. The trick is that you should be looking for secular adoption agencies. They are out there. I can send you a list of agencies if you want and also a few tips on how to spot a shady agency (they are easy to spot if you know what you are looking for)

A larger concern for us is the rising ethical issues with adoption. It is, fundamentally, almost like human trafficking.

Adoption has changed a LOT sine the 70s,80s, and 90s. Previously, most adoptions were closed adoptions, where the adoption records were sealed by a court order, under the guise of "protecting the privacy" of the birth mother. The problem with closed adoptions is that 1) it denies the child their history, and 2) it allows for a lot of shady practices since the two families can never get together to compare notes. Bottom line, women were pressured to give up their child due to social pressures of the unacceptability of single motherhood.

It is now socially acceptable for a woman to be a single mother. And it is also more socially acceptable to abort (although we still have a long way to go here). The supply of healthy children is going down, but the demand is still constant, which leads to a lot of shady issues. And since adoption has turned into a multi-billion dollar industry, thats a lot of incentive to be corrupt. Lets get one thing out of the way and be honest. People do not want what is best for the child, they want what is best for themselves with each party having their own interests.

A lot of women who go to crisis pregnancy centers are looking for help for themselves. It is suppose to provide support for a pregnant woman in terms of prenatal care, postnatal care, and help in obtaining social programs for financial help (WIC programs). What is happening though is that these agencies also run adoption agencies and pressure women into giving up their child with all the flowery happy clappy platitudes like "giving the gift of life to another couple..."

The carrot that gets dangled is that the agency will pay the woman's housing, food, all of her prenatal care, postnatal care, and counseling for life (the last part is often renegged on). Sure, they explain that you can always change your mind and keep your baby, but try changing your mind and keeping your baby after that!?

You will also find that the idea that teenagers are the ones that give up their babies is just a myth. The majority of women who give their children up for adoption is actually married women, who have too many children to support. And if she had just gotten access to more support, she would have been able to keep her child.

Agencies like Spence Chaplin charge $30,000 for just the home study. For that price, they will vet you fully enough to allow you to be able to adopt. It does not include the actual price of adoption.

This is if you want a healthy child. If you are open to taking a child that have been exposed to drugs, or are mentally or physically "special needs", then you will get a child quickly and relatively inexpensively. Maybe you want to sign up for that, and you are a better person than I am. Its one thing if I have a child with special needs, its quite another to sign up for that kind of life.

There are three main types of adoptions.

1. Private, domestic, infant adoption (sometimes toddlers and preschoolers)
2. Adoption of an infant or older child from foster care
3. International adoption

If you want more details, I will be happy to tell you in a PM. Otherwise, here is a good resource that you should read before going this route.

http://www.birthmothers.info/infant.pdf

https://www.childwelfare.gov/adoption/ad...s/general/

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22-04-2014, 05:52 AM
RE: Adoption
(21-04-2014 11:22 AM)=jesse= Wrote:  Some descriptions for children say things like 'Would do well with a traditional couple with commonly accepted male/female roles'. What does that mean?

You know damn well what that means. Women have the domestic in-the-home responsibilities, generally stay at home moms, and don't do jobs like welding or auto mechanics. Women are the caretakers, the nurturers and have an underlying subservience to their family. Men are the sole, or major bread winner, and do typical man jobs such as working in the yard, maintaining the car, paying the bills, etc., and is the head of the household.

A little rudeness and disrespect can elevate a meaningless interaction to a battle of wills and add drama to an otherwise dull day - Bill Watterson
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22-04-2014, 06:38 AM
RE: Adoption
(22-04-2014 05:52 AM)Cathym112 Wrote:  
(21-04-2014 11:22 AM)=jesse= Wrote:  Some descriptions for children say things like 'Would do well with a traditional couple with commonly accepted male/female roles'. What does that mean?

You know damn well what that means. Women have the domestic in-the-home responsibilities, generally stay at home moms, and don't do jobs like welding or auto mechanics. Women are the caretakers, the nurturers and have an underlying subservience to their family. Men are the sole, or major bread winner, and do typical man jobs such as working in the yard, maintaining the car, paying the bills, etc., and is the head of the household.

that's their way of saying we discriminate without actually saying it.Dodgy


"Life is a daring adventure or it is nothing"--Helen Keller
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22-04-2014, 06:39 AM
RE: Adoption
Thank you for choosing this path....so many kids out there need a caring adult in their life.


"Life is a daring adventure or it is nothing"--Helen Keller
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22-04-2014, 08:44 AM (This post was last modified: 22-04-2014 08:58 AM by Atothetheist.)
RE: Adoption
I still remember my orphanage, and I still remember a lot of feelings I had there. I remember feeling not good enough because my real parents decided to get rid of me. I felt unwanted, and scared that I would wind up not having parents. I remember that I had a number of interviews with prospective parents, and I wasn't chosen, and it broke my little heart. I remember the jealousy I felt when some of my friends were chosen over me.

And then I remember when I was chosen. The feeling actually being wanted made me so happy. someone actually chose me. Sure, I cried when I thought they weren't returning (which may or may not have influenced their decision), but it didn't matter. I had a home.

Those feelings were strong in me, and I remember having them.

If you could give a child who feels alone, unwanted, and scared that they are not good enough a chance to feel the feeling of being wanted and a warm home. I say go for it.

I don't care if people say adoption is corrupt. Even if there is a small chance that you can give a child the family they deserve, I think it is worth attempting (with research of course).

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22-04-2014, 08:55 AM
RE: Adoption
(22-04-2014 08:44 AM)Atothetheist Wrote:  I still remember my orphanage, and I still remember a lot of feelings I had there. I felt unwanted, and scared that I would wind up not having parents. I remember that I had a number of interviews with prospective parents, and I wasn't chosen, and it broke my little heart. I remember the jealousy I felt when some of my friends were chosen over me.

And then I remember when I was chosen. The feeling actually being wanted made me so happy. someone actually chose me. Sure, I cried when I thought they weren't returning (which may or may not have influenced their decision), but it didn't matter. I had a home.

Those feelings were strong in me, and I remember having them.

If you could give a child who feels alone, unwanted, and scared that they are not good enough a chance to feel the feeling of being wanted and a warm home. I say go for it.

I don't care if people say adoption is corrupt. Even if there is a small chance that you can give a child the family they deserve, I think it is worth attempting (with research of course).

That's really touching. I'm not very experienced around children and have distrusted them most of my life, but one thing that really breaks my heart is to see a young child rejected and lonely. It brings back a lot of painful memories. Such children can also be a lot sweeter because they don't take things for granted. It is hearing and reading posts like this which make me more amenable to the idea of adopting.
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22-04-2014, 09:09 AM
RE: Adoption
(22-04-2014 08:44 AM)Atothetheist Wrote:  I still remember my orphanage, and I still remember a lot of feelings I had there. I remember feeling not good enough because my real parents decided to get rid of me. I felt unwanted, and scared that I would wind up not having parents. I remember that I had a number of interviews with prospective parents, and I wasn't chosen, and it broke my little heart. I remember the jealousy I felt when some of my friends were chosen over me.

And then I remember when I was chosen. The feeling actually being wanted made me so happy. someone actually chose me. Sure, I cried when I thought they weren't returning (which may or may not have influenced their decision), but it didn't matter. I had a home.

Those feelings were strong in me, and I remember having them.

If you could give a child who feels alone, unwanted, and scared that they are not good enough a chance to feel the feeling of being wanted and a warm home. I say go for it.

I don't care if people say adoption is corrupt. Even if there is a small chance that you can give a child the family they deserve, I think it is worth attempting (with research of course).

The corruption mainly lies with infant adoptions. I apologize for not being clear.

Adoptions out of the foster system have little corruption and is greatly needed.

A little rudeness and disrespect can elevate a meaningless interaction to a battle of wills and add drama to an otherwise dull day - Bill Watterson
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