Adoption
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22-04-2014, 09:24 AM
RE: Adoption
(22-04-2014 09:09 AM)Cathym112 Wrote:  
(22-04-2014 08:44 AM)Atothetheist Wrote:  I still remember my orphanage, and I still remember a lot of feelings I had there. I remember feeling not good enough because my real parents decided to get rid of me. I felt unwanted, and scared that I would wind up not having parents. I remember that I had a number of interviews with prospective parents, and I wasn't chosen, and it broke my little heart. I remember the jealousy I felt when some of my friends were chosen over me.

And then I remember when I was chosen. The feeling actually being wanted made me so happy. someone actually chose me. Sure, I cried when I thought they weren't returning (which may or may not have influenced their decision), but it didn't matter. I had a home.

Those feelings were strong in me, and I remember having them.

If you could give a child who feels alone, unwanted, and scared that they are not good enough a chance to feel the feeling of being wanted and a warm home. I say go for it.

I don't care if people say adoption is corrupt. Even if there is a small chance that you can give a child the family they deserve, I think it is worth attempting (with research of course).

The corruption mainly lies with infant adoptions. I apologize for not being clear.

Adoptions out of the foster system have little corruption and is greatly needed.

I would rather people do both. If you can prevent a child from feeling the way I felt, go for it. I would never wish my experiences being parentless on anyone.

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22-04-2014, 10:44 AM
RE: Adoption
(22-04-2014 09:24 AM)Atothetheist Wrote:  
(22-04-2014 09:09 AM)Cathym112 Wrote:  The corruption mainly lies with infant adoptions. I apologize for not being clear.

Adoptions out of the foster system have little corruption and is greatly needed.

I would rather people do both. If you can prevent a child from feeling the way I felt, go for it. I would never wish my experiences being parentless on anyone.

You are missing my point entirely. Adoption out of the foster care system is the only way in which to ensure that you aren't "buying" a child.

In private adoptions, the reality is that most of these mothers don't want to give up their child, and if they could obtain adequate support, they wouldn't.

I'm only urging caution on the private/international adoption ethical issues. The foster system is a completely different animal.

A little rudeness and disrespect can elevate a meaningless interaction to a battle of wills and add drama to an otherwise dull day - Bill Watterson
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22-04-2014, 10:48 AM
RE: Adoption
(22-04-2014 10:44 AM)Cathym112 Wrote:  
(22-04-2014 09:24 AM)Atothetheist Wrote:  I would rather people do both. If you can prevent a child from feeling the way I felt, go for it. I would never wish my experiences being parentless on anyone.

You are missing my point entirely. Adoption out of the foster care system is the only way in which to ensure that you aren't "buying" a child.

In private adoptions, the reality is that most of these mothers don't want to give up their child, and if they could obtain adequate support, they wouldn't.

I'm only urging caution on the private/international adoption ethical issues. The foster system is a completely different animal.

No, I understand your point. I am fully aware of what you are saying (if you read my post, I did say with research, which was an obvious nod to the fact that there IS corruption, a nod in agreement with you. However, I was addressing the possible corruption in other aspects of adoption... Which I was discussing on another forum at the time). You, however, seem to be missing mine.

Or maybe you aren't. I have no clue, and have no right to assume.

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22-04-2014, 10:52 AM
RE: Adoption
(22-04-2014 10:44 AM)Cathym112 Wrote:  
(22-04-2014 09:24 AM)Atothetheist Wrote:  I would rather people do both. If you can prevent a child from feeling the way I felt, go for it. I would never wish my experiences being parentless on anyone.

You are missing my point entirely. Adoption out of the foster care system is the only way in which to ensure that you aren't "buying" a child.

In private adoptions, the reality is that most of these mothers don't want to give up their child, and if they could obtain adequate support, they wouldn't.

I'm only urging caution on the private/international adoption ethical issues. The foster system is a completely different animal.

I was adopted in Russia. So I was an international adoption.

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22-04-2014, 10:53 AM
RE: Adoption
(22-04-2014 10:48 AM)Atothetheist Wrote:  
(22-04-2014 10:44 AM)Cathym112 Wrote:  You are missing my point entirely. Adoption out of the foster care system is the only way in which to ensure that you aren't "buying" a child.

In private adoptions, the reality is that most of these mothers don't want to give up their child, and if they could obtain adequate support, they wouldn't.

I'm only urging caution on the private/international adoption ethical issues. The foster system is a completely different animal.

No, I understand your point. I am fully aware of what you are saying (if you read my post, I did say with research, which was an obvious nod to the fact that there IS corruption, a nod in agreement with you. However, I was addressing the possible corruption in other aspects of adoption... Which I was discussing on another forum at the time). You, however, seem to be missing mine.

Or maybe you aren't. I have no clue, and have no right to assume.

I was missing your point. I got confused when you said, "I'd rather people do both" I thought you meant both private infant adoption and adoption of older children from the system. We are on the same page now.

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22-04-2014, 10:55 AM
RE: Adoption
(22-04-2014 10:53 AM)Cathym112 Wrote:  
(22-04-2014 10:48 AM)Atothetheist Wrote:  No, I understand your point. I am fully aware of what you are saying (if you read my post, I did say with research, which was an obvious nod to the fact that there IS corruption, a nod in agreement with you. However, I was addressing the possible corruption in other aspects of adoption... Which I was discussing on another forum at the time). You, however, seem to be missing mine.

Or maybe you aren't. I have no clue, and have no right to assume.

I was missing your point. I got confused when you said, "I'd rather people do both" I thought you meant both private infant adoption and adoption of older children from the system. We are on the same page now.

Oh, alright. I knew one of us was screwing up, and I honestly thought it was me. Sorry for not being clear enough.

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22-04-2014, 01:26 PM
RE: Adoption
Thanks everyone. I think we may have to stick to secular organizations. Neither one of us were baptized. Our friends and immediate family know of our atheism. And my books like 'The God Delusion' laying around the house will more than likely be a dead giveaway.

To that 'traditional roles' bullsh*t....man that stuff really pisses me off. It makes me wonder how many kids could have had a good home with loving parents but don't, because of some prejudiced decision maker.

The religion of one age, is the literary entertainment of the next.
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22-04-2014, 02:27 PM
RE: Adoption
(22-04-2014 01:26 PM)=jesse= Wrote:  Thanks everyone. I think we may have to stick to secular organizations. Neither one of us were baptized. Our friends and immediate family know of our atheism. And my books like 'The God Delusion' laying around the house will more than likely be a dead giveaway.

To that 'traditional roles' bullsh*t....man that stuff really pisses me off. It makes me wonder how many kids could have had a good home with loving parents but don't, because of some prejudiced decision maker.

If you live in the US, the foster system cannot ask you your religious affiliation. And frankly, they don't care either. They want homes for children.

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