Advice on explaining you're gay to Christian Grandparents.
Post Reply
 
Thread Rating:
  • 0 Votes - 0 Average
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
02-12-2011, 10:56 AM
Advice on explaining you're gay to Christian Grandparents.
So I've always hated the fact that hardcore Christians typically hate gays. There's obviously been several posts on this topic, but I felt the need to post another and ask for advice --not for me, but for my friend.

CYTB, as you all know, is bi-sexual. Her parent's know that she likes girls in the way she also likes boys, and they apparently have no problem with it. They are, however, making her explain her preferences to her Christian Grandparents; who are like hardcore slap-you-upside-the-face-with-a-big-ass-bible hardcore. I really don't know what to tell her, because even I know (from meeting them in the past) that they won't take this lightly. If they'll think lowly of me for having a lip piercing, then they're going to raise hell about this. That can't be ignored, and I'm not saying that to make matters worse, I'm saying it so she can take it into consideration and be prepared.

Do any of you have advice on how exactly she should explain this to her crazy Grandparents?
Visit this user's website Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
02-12-2011, 11:19 AM
RE: Advice on explaining you're gay to Christian Grandparents.
OH! How fun. Test the waters first. Start a conversation and steer it towards the subject of homosexuality and bisexuality just to see their reactions. depending on what their reactions are I suggest you bring up the biological reasons for people's sexual preferences. Look that up because I don't feel like typing an extremely large amount.
The biological information should gain you some points but if it doesn't, I recommend the tried and true strategy of just saying "fuck it" and continuing on your marry way.

NEW AND IMPROVED!
Twice the anger, Half the space!
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 1 user Likes Hamata k's post
02-12-2011, 01:17 PM
RE: Advice on explaining you're gay to Christian Grandparents.
There's no real easy way to do this; however, my suggestion is "ignorance is bliss".

My grandparents are also ultra-conservative... not crazy-slap-you-in-the-head-with-a-bible, but they are from an old school that views homosexuals and homosexual acts as sub human. When my uncle came out to my grandparents it almost killed them. Literally. My grandfather had to have a heart bypass and my grandmother blamed it on my uncle and the stress that he put them under. Now, my grandparents are some of the most wonderful people you will ever meet, but homosexuality just isn't tolerated.

It's been over 20 years since he came out, but their relationship never healed. They were civil, of course, but there was a permanent schism that was placed in between them. Because of their strained relationship, my uncle pulled away from the rest of the family. Today we have very limited contact with him.

It's just up to her, but the reality of it is that her coming out could permanently destroy their relationship.

[Image: vjp09.gif]
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
02-12-2011, 01:21 PM
 
RE: Advice on explaining you're gay to Christian Grandparents.
Thank you for doing a thread like this, hun.

Well, thank you all for the wonderful advice so far.
Quote this message in a reply
02-12-2011, 01:33 PM
RE: Advice on explaining you're gay to Christian Grandparents.
(02-12-2011 01:17 PM)kingschosen Wrote:  There's no real easy way to do this; however, my suggestion is "ignorance is bliss".

My grandparents are also ultra-conservative... not crazy-slap-you-in-the-head-with-a-bible, but they are from an old school that views homosexuals and homosexual acts as sub human. When my uncle came out to my grandparents it almost killed them. Literally. My grandfather had to have a heart bypass and my grandmother blamed it on my uncle and the stress that he put them under. Now, my grandparents are some of the most wonderful people you will ever meet, but homosexuality just isn't tolerated.

It's been over 20 years since he came out, but their relationship never healed. They were civil, of course, but there was a permanent schism that was placed in between them. Because of their strained relationship, my uncle pulled away from the rest of the family. Today we have very limited contact with him.

It's just up to her, but the reality of it is that her coming out could permanently destroy their relationship.

Well it's not the coming out that could destroy the relationship- it's the reaction of the grandparents and anyone else involved. I personally do not think that anyone should have to live with this kind of a secret.

However, in my own hypocrisy, I don't plan on having a talk about my atheism with my grandparents. It's not a burdensome secret for me to keep from them, and since I don't speak to them regularly (it's a distance thing not due to any issues) anyway it doesn't really matter to me. I love them, but I'm just not that close to them.

I wish I had some useful advice for this discussion though... it's not something I've ever had to do. I think that honesty is the best policy, but I don't know if that should change when dealing with the elderly, for whom shock can be a health hazard.

But, CYTB, if your parents are making you do it, then they've made that choice for you as your parents. I guess just tell them, but make sure they know you are still who you are. I don't watch the show Glee normally, but my wife was watching an episode last night where this very issue arose. I watched it with her over her shoulder. I want to say it was the most recent episode and in the end the girl told her loved one. No, it didn't end well- but it was scripted and just one possibility. But, you could watch that scene for ideas. I don't know, that could be terrible advice... but maybe it's not.

Godzilla Kitten, Directed by J.J. Abrams
[Image: Kineoprojectfinished3_zps79916ea4.jpg]
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
02-12-2011, 01:38 PM
 
RE: Advice on explaining you're gay to Christian Grandparents.
(02-12-2011 01:33 PM)kineo Wrote:  I don't watch the show Glee normally, but my wife was watching an episode last night where this very issue arose. I watched it with her over her shoulder. I want to say it was the most recent episode and in the end the girl told her loved one. No, it didn't end well- but it was scripted and just one possibility. But, you could watch that scene for ideas. I don't know, that could be terrible advice... but maybe it's not.

Actually, I am an absolute Gleek.
I was going to do what Santana did, & just be like:

"I love you, but there is something that I feel you should know. I like girls, the way I'm supposed to like guys."

I don't know, just sounds like a good thing to say.
Quote this message in a reply
02-12-2011, 01:50 PM
RE: Advice on explaining you're gay to Christian Grandparents.
I would 2nd KC's comment. Ignorance is bliss. Why is it ANYONE's business who CYTB does or doesn't love.

My other thought is if she is forced to tell them, then just say, "This is the way God made me. I'm just living the way God wants me to live."

"All that is necessary for the triumph of Calvinism is that good Atheists do nothing." ~Eric Oh My
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
02-12-2011, 01:51 PM
RE: Advice on explaining you're gay to Christian Grandparents.
(02-12-2011 01:38 PM)calmyourtitsbro Wrote:  
(02-12-2011 01:33 PM)kineo Wrote:  I don't watch the show Glee normally, but my wife was watching an episode last night where this very issue arose. I watched it with her over her shoulder. I want to say it was the most recent episode and in the end the girl told her loved one. No, it didn't end well- but it was scripted and just one possibility. But, you could watch that scene for ideas. I don't know, that could be terrible advice... but maybe it's not.

Actually, I am an absolute Gleek.
I was going to do what Santana did, & just be like:

"I love you, but there is something that I feel you should know. I like girls, the way I'm supposed to like guys."

I don't know, just sounds like a good thing to say.

Do you have to tell them? Are your parents forcing you to do this? If so, they are being cruel to you and to your grandparents.
Why make everyone uncomfortable or risk destroying relationships for something that is nobody else's damn business?

Tell your parents to butt out.

Skepticism is not a position; it is an approach to claims.
Science is not a subject, but a method.
[Image: flagstiny%206.gif]
Visit this user's website Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 1 user Likes Chas's post
02-12-2011, 01:53 PM
 
RE: Advice on explaining you're gay to Christian Grandparents.
(02-12-2011 01:51 PM)Chas Wrote:  Do you have to tell them? Are your parents forcing you to do this? If so, they are being cruel to you and to your grandparents.
Why make everyone uncomfortable or risk destroying relationships for something that is nobody else's damn business?

Tell your parents to butt out.

My parents told me that if I didn't tell my grandparents, that they would. Undecided
I live in their house, follow their rules, & they provide for me.
So I guess that I don't really have a choice.
Quote this message in a reply
02-12-2011, 02:24 PM
RE: Advice on explaining you're gay to Christian Grandparents.
(02-12-2011 01:53 PM)calmyourtitsbro Wrote:  My parents told me that if I didn't tell my grandparents, that they would. Undecided
I live in their house, follow their rules, & they provide for me.
So I guess that I don't really have a choice.

How do you think your grandparents will react?

Are they the sort to accept your decision or not?

Best and worst of Ferdinand .....
Best
Ferdinand: We don't really say 'theist' in Alabama. Here, you're either a Christian, or you're from Afghanistan and we fucking hate you.
Worst
Ferdinand: Everyone from British is so, like, fucking retarded.
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
Post Reply
Forum Jump: