Advice please...
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19-09-2017, 08:57 AM
RE: Advice please...
(19-09-2017 07:31 AM)50years Wrote:  and are not guilted/blackmailed/forced to attend that church on a regular basis. We only go on holidays.

You already go less than me, so that's good!


(19-09-2017 07:31 AM)50years Wrote:  Thanks again to all for your advice and support.

Best of luck!
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19-09-2017, 09:51 AM
RE: Advice please...
He sounds like the type that would go out of his way to tell your kids you are going to burn in hell and try to use them to pressure you into being "saved."

I'm not sure telling him you're atheist would accomplish anything positive for you.

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19-09-2017, 04:21 PM
RE: Advice please...
If your kids are the right age then give them some good books on dinosaurs and some Harry Potter. The resulting shrieking from Grandpa Biblenutters should make for a very effective innoculant against his religious rubbish.

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19-09-2017, 04:58 PM
RE: Advice please...
(18-09-2017 08:35 PM)ImFred Wrote:  Bullshit

A grown man shouldn't be hiding behind lies

Fair point.

OTOH, I've no problem with manipulating the manipulative to one's own ends, if possible. Wink

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19-09-2017, 05:02 PM
RE: Advice please...
(18-09-2017 05:19 PM)50years Wrote:  My father-in-law is a methodist preacher, and a hypocritical, arrogant, militant one at that. He has stated on previous occasions that he would enjoy pounding christianity into non-believers. He is truly one of the most unpleasant people (aside from his wife) that I've ever met. The man preaches the gospel on Sunday, and spends the rest of the week hating people (including his wife), and just generally being a grumpy dick. He never, NEVER says hello to me, my mother, my grandparents when we enter their house. I've never seen anything quite like it. He no more embodies the shit that he spews on Sunday than the "devil" himself.

My wife is the most wonderful person in the entire world, and it constantly amazes me that she is the offspring of those two. I no idea how that happened. My wife, like myself, was raised in the methodist church. Her father didn't become a preacher until a few years ago, but now it consumes his life and has afforded him a bully pulpit (literally) from which he can lord power over the feeble sheep who truly know nothing of who he really is. My wife is what I would describe as a casual believer. She loves the old hymns, and certain scriptures that make her think of her grandmothers, but I really don't think she believes in all the hokus-pokus bullshit of the religion itself. She understands that I am a total non-believer and is fine with that. We never go to church, on our own, as a family. The only time we do actually go to church is on holidays. Then we go to my F-I-L's church. It's torture, but I make that sacrifice for my wife.

So, my issue is that I am desperate to tell my F-I-L that I am an atheist both to get it off my chest, and to drive a wedge between his bullshit and the indoctrination of my children. I have no idea how to go about it though. I can guarantee that he will fly off the handle, probably yell, and I wouldn't rule out that he might take a swing at me. It would almost certainly taint our relationship for the rest of his life. Has anyone else had to deal with such a situation? Did you confront the problem or suffer in silence? I want to remain calm when confronting him with the facts of why I'm an atheist, but I know that will be almost impossible. Does anyone have any strategies for debating a man like this?

Thanks in advance for any and all advice. It's much appreciated.

I had a vey similar situation. My FIL isn't quite a preacher but he is very open about his beliefs and couldn't stand me because off them. I wasn't allowed over to his home for almost 7 years from when I started dating his daughter. My wife sounds very much like yours as she is a believer but doesn't really care much for being religious. I never talked about my atheism with him until one day I was picking up my kids, who stay with his wife while we are at work, and she was reading the Noah story to them and then I asked them to not directly influence my son with their beliefs. Well, this did not go over well with my "True Christian" FIL and we got into a huge debate on his beliefs and how he had to teach my kids or they will go to hell. I started a thread on this a couple years ago here.

This debate is actually what led me to this forum for advice. The debate lasted about 2 weeks and ended in stalemate. I kept asking him not to over step my wife and I on directly influencing my son's beliefs to which he never directly agreed to. I think he is still doing whatever he can to influence them in secret. I've asked my son and he won't answer me. I did make one compromise on my end to allow my son to go to a Christian preschool but that would be the extent of his religious schooling.

My advice to you is that one day something is going to come up and you aren't going to have a choice to keep it a secret. So try to be prepared to open up about it. It's vey difficult with family that you are close to even if you don't get along. After the debate I had, my FIL has not brought religion and we see each other almost everyday when I get my kids. There is still some tension even after s couple years and it can always resurface. But I am Mitch more prepared now than I was then.
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19-09-2017, 05:12 PM
RE: Advice please...
It looks like you lost your battle O.T. Sorry to learn this. Sad

In light of that, I think the OP needs to win this particular battle. The opponent is not only stupid, but dangerous. The mention of his perhaps taking a swing should be treated very seriously. This person is dangerously unstable.

IMO, it is for the OP to stand his ground. Stand up for himself and his family. No more bullshit.

Man or mouse. Which is it?

NOTE: Member, Tomasia uses this site to slander other individuals. He then later proclaims it a joke, but not in public.
I will call him a liar and a dog here and now.
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20-09-2017, 07:26 AM
RE: Advice please...
Unfortunately there is an never ending supply them.
Avoid him when you can and nod and smile when you can't.
Pick your battles and it sounds to me like that's a losing one.

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20-09-2017, 08:16 AM
RE: Advice please...
There's an old joke that may be your solution.


How do you keep a Baptist you take fishing, from drinking all your beer??

Take two Baptists.


...

Extrapolate - pick out a person from " dad's " congregation, that you know to be a good, honest, and caring person ---

And have them in the room when you tell Dad that you're an athiest.


Like the beer drinker - he will be so concerned about his appearance in front of his flock, thast he will be forced to " play nice", or he will quickly be known throughout the church as an asshat....

.......................................

The difference between prayer and masturbation - is when a guy is through masturbating - he has something to show for his efforts.
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20-09-2017, 02:03 PM
RE: Advice please...
(20-09-2017 08:16 AM)onlinebiker Wrote:  How do you keep a Baptist you take fishing, from drinking all your beer??

Take two Baptists.
  • Jews don't recognize Christ as the Messiah.
  • Protestants don't recognize the authority of the Pope.
  • Baptists don't recognize each other in liquor stores and strip clubs.
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20-09-2017, 09:17 PM
RE: Advice please...
(19-09-2017 05:12 PM)Banjo Wrote:  Man or mouse. Which is it?

I am not a mouse. I am a man who has the ability to be patient if I have to. Right now, I have to. But make no mistake, when forced to defend, you don't want to mess with this man.
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