Advice sought
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13-07-2012, 12:10 AM
Advice sought
Ok I need to fill you in with some background first before I get to the part where I need your opinion.

My sister met a guy a few years and started to date him...... he was actually at the end of a 2 year prison sentence for fraud of his own business and was at an open prison. He never told my sister this but instead told her he was in the army (he had been in the army for years but had been out about 4 when they met I think). Obv it came out in the end that all of this was a crock of shit...... my sister forgave him.

He then started up a security business with my sister......... whilst he was in the begginings of doing this he started a double life and was dating my sister and another woman. My sister found out about this and kicked him out...... but after about a month she took him back.

He then started to do my sisters house up. He built an extension.... decking.... security system on the house.... built a small garage/workshop in the back garden.... had a new roof put on..... all mod cons in the house (Latest 50 inch flatscreen, stereo system, jacuzzi etc) he basicly gutted the house and turned it into a showhome.

My sis and him were both arrested for fraud about 2 years ago..... he had been creating business accounts through his business (that had no work, was phoney) and that is how they had been funding there lifestyle..... I think in total it was about £75,000 worth they robbed. My sister up until this point had allways been a proper full law abiding citizen square. She had led a sheltered life and classed ganja as the same as heroin..... she was a proper sheep...... a proper do gooder...... so I was surprised at this and it turns out that he had done it all, its just my sister turned a blind eye to it (which is the same as doing it in my eyes)

There trial was gonna be a very long and expensive jury affair with all of the many businesses he had conned set to testify..... so her boyfriend made a deal with the court and would plead guilty to everything if they dropped the charges on her. They accepted this.... although she did in the end have one charge against her because she slipped up and admitted in a police interview of handing over a dodgy cheque when recieving delivery of a fridge freezer.

She got a £500 fine and had to do community service and he got 3 years in prison.

My sister stayed with him and because of some other problems had to sell her house that they had been living in and moved nearer to the prison he was staying in.

Now after this mission of a tale here comes the bit I need your opinion on.......

He has been out over 6 months and him and my sis have moved down south to where he grew up..... At my bros wedding he let slip that he was working for himself again, but this time subcontracting to letting agents and doing handyman/decorating/gardening/odd job work.

This obv got my concerns up but i didnt have the oppurtunity to quiz him much further on that occasion...... I then recently recieved a message off my sis saying she had a new top of the range I phone...... when i quizzed her on where she got it from she said her boyfriend had got one for her, for him and for one of his sons through his business.

Now I know regardless of wether I message her how fucking stupid that sounds..... It wont change anything ..... so I havent replied to that particular text message, i just let it slide. They live very close to his parents and are quite close and his dad is a respected member of the community, I cant imagine him letting his son do anything dodgy or actually encouraging him to go down the same route as before......... however I know for sure that he isnt allowed to start any more businesses.

The fraud he did whilst he was with my sis just sounds like money........ but in reality he was conning high amounts of money from people.... businesses......... one company actually went bust through his actions and when the people came for there money from him he was either evasive or extremely threatening/violent towards them when caught...... a proper twat.

Ive told my sis previously that I dont like him that much (surprisingly).... I get on with him for peace sake however Im only doing it out of respect for my sister and it is her life at the end of the day and all I can do is be there for her if she needs me. However I am begging to think that I would hate him to do it again...... ruin more peoples life...... when maybe something can be done to remedy the situation first???

For no matter how much I use these symbols, to describe symptoms of my existence.
You are your own emphasis.
So I say nothing.

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13-07-2012, 12:41 AM
RE: Advice sought
He is demonstrating sociopathic behaviour.

Engineer a casual meeting with some of his victims so he can see (and feel) how their lives have been ruined by his actions.

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[+] 1 user Likes DLJ's post
13-07-2012, 12:42 AM
RE: Advice sought
Oh dear. He sounds like almost the worst possible person your sister could've hooked up with. What a sad state of affairs.

Imo I'm not really sure whether it's worth getting involved at all. Your sister's made her choice. I can't believe she took him back after he's been to prison! Just be there when she needs you, I suppose.

You could maybe inform the local cops as to his 'business' dealings but I'm not so sure that's a good idea as he might just come after you.

Bad situation Sad

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13-07-2012, 12:49 AM
RE: Advice sought
Its funny you should mention sociopath DLJ as quite early on he got diagnosed with Bi-polar and has proportioned some of the blame of his actions onto that....... I personally think it is a dodgy zone as he could quite easily just use that as an excuse again and again.

Im not scared of him aurora..... he doesnt bother me. What I do struggle with is if I did in any way alert the authorities then maybe it could have him back in prison (he is on probabtion) which will obv make the situation potentially worse.

Im just dumbfounded that the situation has been allowed to happen again if im honest....... yes I suppose a leopard can change its spots but with his previous history (and there is loads of other shit about his past) I just cant see it.

For no matter how much I use these symbols, to describe symptoms of my existence.
You are your own emphasis.
So I say nothing.

-Bemore.
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13-07-2012, 12:52 AM
RE: Advice sought
(13-07-2012 12:49 AM)bemore Wrote:  Its funny you should mention sociopath DLJ as quite early on he got diagnosed with Bi-polar and has proportioned some of the blame of his actions onto that....... I personally think it is a dodgy zone as he could quite easily just use that as an excuse again and again.

Im not scared of him aurora..... he doesnt bother me. What I do struggle with is if I did in any way alert the authorities then maybe it could have him back in prison (he is on probabtion) which will obv make the situation potentially worse.

Im just dumbfounded that the situation has been allowed to happen again if im honest....... yes I suppose a leopard can change its spots but with his previous history (and there is loads of other shit about his past) I just cant see it.
I agree. Unfortunately people like him will always find a way Dodgy

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13-07-2012, 07:52 AM
RE: Advice sought
Quite the interesting situation you're in. Personally I think that alerting the authorities to "keep an eye" on him would be the best solution. Of course I expect you to do this anonymously as to avoid complications.

I think what your sister needs is to be away form him and around other more sensible people for a awhile. Being around others would (most likely) help her regain her footing on what she's doing.

People like your sister's boyfriend tend to go for those whom they can manipulate the easiest to serve their own ends. I would know as I do the same. The difference is that I don't suck at it like he does.

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[+] 1 user Likes Hamata k's post
13-07-2012, 09:43 PM
RE: Advice sought
Dang man. I guess I'd see my sis as one of his vics too If I were in your shoes. Unfortunately, there's prolly not much you can do about it Confused

I used to be involved in a lot of "419 sport" where I messed with those guys that do the Nigerian email scams. It was mostly fun and games but after a while I figured out how to get personal info from them and warn other people who they were scamming. I saw cases where people were getting conned out of thousands of dollars and a few, even after being warned, wouldn't or couldn't stop themselves from being ripped off again and again. Life vics I'd call'em. Sad.

If he's up to his same old tricks then surely he'll get busted again. Good luck
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13-07-2012, 09:58 PM
RE: Advice sought
Dude, that sounds like a pretty sucky story. I guess what you do and to what extent will depend upon the strength of your relationship with your sister. Hamata's idea is sound, but you also have to weigh the predicted response of your sister. Will she be implicated in any charges of fraud? What would happen if she learned you dropped the dime on her loser bf? It's a hard place to be, my friend. I hope you can figure out what your role in all this is to be.

It was just a fucking apple man, we're sorry okay? Please stop the madness Laugh out load
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13-07-2012, 09:59 PM
RE: Advice sought
Oh, and I'll be praying for you!

It was just a fucking apple man, we're sorry okay? Please stop the madness Laugh out load
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14-07-2012, 02:21 AM
RE: Advice sought
I'm surprised your sister didn't pick up on something dodgy happening. I mean he was in prison for business fraud, he then started his own business and the money was just flooding in. The whole thing is just shady.

If he is threatening to his victims perhaps he is the same at home? which is why she stays?

I dunno, some women are like that, they just stay with an obvious douche bag. I dunno why, I'm not qualified nor a women in that situation so I guess I can't really comment on it. It's certainly a tricky spot you're in. I wouldn't suspect there is a lot you personally can do about it apart from advising her and warning her. At the end of the day she is an adult and hence must make the final decision herself.

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