After about a five year absence, I have returned.
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14-05-2015, 11:34 PM
After about a five year absence, I have returned.
Hello All

It has been about five years since I posted. I originally started out as a liberal Catholic, see here:

http://www.thethinkingatheist.com/forum/...joined-you

Then, I deconverted and became an Atheist with an interest in Buddhism, see here. The deconversion happened somewhere along page 9 or 10 of the thread:

http://www.thethinkingatheist.com/forum/...al-Scholar

Now, much has happened since. So I went back to being a theist for a while- I was not comfortable with the idea of their being nothing after death as this depressed me- I was later diagnosed with depression and anxiety by my psychiatrist. However, upon returning to theism, I found I did not believe in a supernatural conception of deity, so became a Christian Naturalist, believing God to be some form of space alien.

Then, I got married, to a girl, left the Catholic Church shortly afterwards for good, tried Anglicanism for a while. Somewhere along these lines I realized I was Gay and Polyamorous, and my girl and I decided on an open marriage. I have since come out to my friends and family, most of them have taken it well, and I am now in a lovely mixed orientation relationship with my girlfriend (I could never wrap my head around being her gay husband, we ditched the concept of marriage entirely and are just happy being ourselves) and my awesome boyfriend.

Recently, however, I realized that I was indeed an Atheist, and that I should stop pretending in believing in a space alien deity. I now understand my religious experiences, on the whole, to have been my brain's very complex way of interacting with my self/conscience- I am still using "God language" as I deconvert, as I have no idea what else to call this persona for a conscience that I've created, but am now having lots of fun constructing this persona as I see fit.

I've also gotten help with my depression and anxiety through therapy- whether there is something after I die, on that question, I simply say, I don't know. I hope the party continues so to speak, because I like living, but if ti doesn't, no loss. I also still have an interest in Buddhism.

I still also consider myself a Christian, in that I am a follower of the social teachings of Jesus of Nazareth (look up Christian Atheism on wikipedia) and am also a Religious Naturalist (i.e. having a sense of awe, wonder, sacredness for life/reality/the universe/nature). I am currently also having fun developing rituals/religion for myself without the need for a supernatural/natural deity as a way of connecting with myself and the world around me.

Pretty much I'm back to where I was when I left, except now I have found a way to have rituals/religion that seems natura and logicall to me.

But all in all, I just wanted to say hi and say I'm back. Mostly looking for support as I'm feeling guilty over deconverting (I know that's my brain slipping back into bad patterns. anyone else experience this?) and hope to find other Religious Naturalists/Christian Atheists on here, as I know I'm not alone. Hopefully some of the friends I made on here are still around (I'm thinking of Erxomai).

Mike
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15-05-2015, 02:15 AM
RE: After about a five year absence, I have returned.
I was not around five years ago when you were last here but Hi and welcome.

"The person who is certain, and who claims divine warrant for his certainty, belongs now to the infancy of our species." - Christopher Hitchens

"Remember kids, if you don't sin, then Jesus died for nothing. Have a great day!" - Ricky Gervais
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15-05-2015, 02:39 AM
RE: After about a five year absence, I have returned.
Hello! Big Grin

Welcome back, even though I weren't around when you were passing through last.

Congrats on how your life is working out. Much cheers to you and yours. Smile
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15-05-2015, 04:52 AM
RE: After about a five year absence, I have returned.
Welcome back!

[Image: dobie.png]Science is the process we've designed to be responsible for generating our best guess as to what the fuck is going on. Girly Man
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15-05-2015, 05:00 AM
RE: After about a five year absence, I have returned.
(14-05-2015 11:34 PM)Nagoda Wrote:  Hello All

It has been about five years since I posted. I originally started out as a liberal Catholic, see here:

http://www.thethinkingatheist.com/forum/...joined-you

Then, I deconverted and became an Atheist with an interest in Buddhism, see here. The deconversion happened somewhere along page 9 or 10 of the thread:

http://www.thethinkingatheist.com/forum/...al-Scholar

Now, much has happened since. So I went back to being a theist for a while- I was not comfortable with the idea of their being nothing after death as this depressed me- I was later diagnosed with depression and anxiety by my psychiatrist. However, upon returning to theism, I found I did not believe in a supernatural conception of deity, so became a Christian Naturalist, believing God to be some form of space alien.

Then, I got married, to a girl, left the Catholic Church shortly afterwards for good, tried Anglicanism for a while. Somewhere along these lines I realized I was Gay and Polyamorous, and my girl and I decided on an open marriage. I have since come out to my friends and family, most of them have taken it well, and I am now in a lovely mixed orientation relationship with my girlfriend (I could never wrap my head around being her gay husband, we ditched the concept of marriage entirely and are just happy being ourselves) and my awesome boyfriend.

Recently, however, I realized that I was indeed an Atheist, and that I should stop pretending in believing in a space alien deity. I now understand my religious experiences, on the whole, to have been my brain's very complex way of interacting with my self/conscience- I am still using "God language" as I deconvert, as I have no idea what else to call this persona for a conscience that I've created, but am now having lots of fun constructing this persona as I see fit.

I've also gotten help with my depression and anxiety through therapy- whether there is something after I die, on that question, I simply say, I don't know. I hope the party continues so to speak, because I like living, but if ti doesn't, no loss. I also still have an interest in Buddhism.

I still also consider myself a Christian, in that I am a follower of the social teachings of Jesus of Nazareth (look up Christian Atheism on wikipedia) and am also a Religious Naturalist (i.e. having a sense of awe, wonder, sacredness for life/reality/the universe/nature). I am currently also having fun developing rituals/religion for myself without the need for a supernatural/natural deity as a way of connecting with myself and the world around me.

Pretty much I'm back to where I was when I left, except now I have found a way to have rituals/religion that seems natura and logicall to me.

But all in all, I just wanted to say hi and say I'm back. Mostly looking for support as I'm feeling guilty over deconverting (I know that's my brain slipping back into bad patterns. anyone else experience this?) and hope to find other Religious Naturalists/Christian Atheists on here, as I know I'm not alone. Hopefully some of the friends I made on here are still around (I'm thinking of Erxomai).

Mike

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15-05-2015, 05:02 AM
RE: After about a five year absence, I have returned.
Everyone's path to peace is a journey, it seems you have been on a long one. Welcome back.

"Belief is so often the death of reason" - Qyburn, Game of Thrones

"The Christian community continues to exist because the conclusions of the critical study of the Bible are largely withheld from them." -Hans Conzelmann (1915-1989)
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15-05-2015, 06:05 AM
RE: After about a five year absence, I have returned.
Welcome back.

Seems your journey has been a long and complicated one. But no-one ever said life was simple Wink

Good to have you back Smile

"Isn't it enough to see that a garden is beautiful without having to believe that there are fairies at the bottom of it too"? - Douglas Adams Bechased
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15-05-2015, 06:05 AM
RE: After about a five year absence, I have returned.
I wasn't around back then. Welcome back.

“The first duty of a man is to think for himself” ― José Martí
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15-05-2015, 06:08 AM
RE: After about a five year absence, I have returned.
egor gordo?
yes? no?
Consider


anyway, welcome back. Big Grin


"Life is a daring adventure or it is nothing"--Helen Keller
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15-05-2015, 07:29 AM
RE: After about a five year absence, I have returned.
(15-05-2015 06:08 AM)Bows and Arrows Wrote:  egor gordo?
yes? no?
Consider


anyway, welcome back. Big Grin

Nah, Egor was crazy. Welcome back Nagoda Smile

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(06-02-2014 03:47 PM)Momsurroundedbyboys Wrote:  And I'm giving myself a conclusion again from all the facepalming.
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