Aging and Seeking Direction.
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06-11-2012, 04:14 PM
RE: Aging and Seeking Direction.
(06-11-2012 03:59 PM)amyb Wrote:  
(06-11-2012 09:42 AM)theophilus Wrote:  I checked your profile and discovered you are 26 years old....
You're 26? I assumed from the title you were about 90,since you were lamenting about not reaching your goals in life. If you're only in your 20s, you still have plenty of time to do whatever. I certainly wouldn't consider 26 as "aging" or way past one's peak.

But I also tend to get the feeling that much of life is absurd. I think people are always telling us to have certain goals to have a "meaningful" life, and try to make us feel guilty if we don't do those things, or even want those same things for ourselves (I'm looking at you, all the people who tell me I'm somehow flawed/incomplete for not having children!).

I don't think our lives has three acts and a coherent story arc like a hollywood movie. I think it's largely other people's expectations that cause people to feel like they're not living up to whatever "goals." Not that goals are useless, but if you don't have any specific ones, you don't have any specific ones. It doesn't make you a worse person. Though I did feel that way too for a while in my 20s, just because I felt I should have achieved world domination by then. Still working on that.
I thought he was pushing forty and worried about the rocky road to 120......... Tongue
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06-11-2012, 08:00 PM (This post was last modified: 06-11-2012 09:07 PM by GirlyMan.)
RE: Aging and Seeking Direction.
(05-11-2012 09:26 PM)Dark Light Wrote:  I have set goals, yes, and I am working toward them, but it is artificial goals which I am passionless about.

Just because they are artificial, doesn't mean you have to be dispassionate about them. And just because you are dispassionate about them doesn't make them unattainable. Hell, it may even make them more achievable.

(06-11-2012 09:42 AM)theophilus Wrote:  I checked your profile and discovered you are 26 years old. Since I am 72 it seems strange to me that someone your age would feel like this but it is probably a good thing because death can come an any age and we should always think about how to prepare for it.

We were created by God and the only way to have a successful life is to find out what he wants us to accomplish and to do it. The fact that you are on this forum means that you will probably don't believe this but it is the truth.

At 72 yo it seems strange to me that you are still trying to survive yourself. I gave up on that long ago, brother, except in the sense of the imprint I leave here.

(06-11-2012 04:11 PM)Dom Wrote:  
(06-11-2012 03:59 PM)amyb Wrote:  I think people are always telling us to have certain goals to have a "meaningful" life, and try to make us feel guilty if we don't do those things, or even want those same things for ourselves (I'm looking at you, all the people who tell me I'm somehow flawed/incomplete for not having children!).


Ah yes, me too. Smile

You want mine? Be happy to give 'em to you. Big Grin

(06-11-2012 10:38 AM)Dark Light Wrote:  Right now I am looking at getting a degree in Computer Engineering.

Excellent choice. That's my job title even though I'm exclusively a software guy (my place of employment decided back in the day before most Universities had Computer Engineering Majors that having a Comp Sci degree and working under an EE qualified me for CE, meh, whatever).

Ah goals. I remember having goals. I was passionate about them even though I realized they were artificial and ultimately meaningless. If you're gonna play the game, you might as well play it well.

Goal 1: Graduate top of my class from University.
Result: Fail. I only graduated magna cum laude instead of summa cum laude.

Goal 2: Maximize my income to comfortably support those who are dependent on me.
Result: Achieved. GS 15-10 by the age of 40 a decade ago. Not interested in Senior Executive Service. Sorry but an additional $20K is not sufficient to make me wear a suit and tie everyday. Might be able to tolerate the suit but the tie feels like a noose no matter how loose I make it. And GS 15-10 is sufficient to realize the goal.

Current Goal: Go out gracefully and don't fuck shit up by just getting all riled up and turning over the game table.
Result: Work in progress. Things not to do: Go out and have me an affair with some 20-30 yo like my brother's wife did. Clearly foundationally disruptive to the family. Not gonna happen.

As it was in the beginning is now and ever shall be, world without end. Amen.
And I will show you something different from either
Your shadow at morning striding behind you
Or your shadow at evening rising to meet you;
I will show you fear in a handful of dust.
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06-11-2012, 09:30 PM
RE: Aging and Seeking Direction.
(06-11-2012 08:00 PM)GirlyMan Wrote:  
(05-11-2012 09:26 PM)Dark Light Wrote:  I have set goals, yes, and I am working toward them, but it is artificial goals which I am passionless about.

Just because they are artificial, doesn't mean you have to be dispassionate about them. And just because you are dispassionate about them doesn't make them unattainable. Hell, it may even make them more achievable.


(06-11-2012 10:38 AM)Dark Light Wrote:  Right now I am looking at getting a degree in Computer Engineering.

Excellent choice. That's my job title even though I'm exclusively a software guy (my place of employment decided back in the day before most Universities had Computer Engineering Majors that having a Comp Sci degree and working under an EE qualified me for CE, meh, whatever).

Ah goals. I remember having goals. I was passionate about them even though I realized they were artificial and ultimately meaningless. If you're gonna play the game, you might as well play it well.

Goal 1: Graduate top of my class from University.
Result: Fail. I only graduated magna cum laude instead of summa cum laude.

Goal 2: Maximize my income to comfortably support those who are dependent on me.
Result: Achieved. GS 15-10 by the age of 40 a decade ago. Not interested in Senior Executive Service. Sorry but an additional $20K is not sufficient to make me wear a suit and tie everyday. Might be able to tolerate the suit but the tie feels like a noose no matter how loose I make it. And GS 15-10 is sufficient to realize the goal.

Current Goal: Go out gracefully and don't fuck shit up by just getting all riled up and turning over the game table.
Result: Work in progress. Things not to do: Go out and have me an affair with some 20-30 yo like my brother's wife did. Clearly foundationally disruptive to the family. Not gonna happen.
I think part of the reason I lost my passion is because I went into the Navy to be an IT, or Information Systems Technician right after graduating from a local tech school. I read the job descriptions and talked to an IT....Network Tech/Admin, Info. Sec., Programming, yadda, yadda, yadda. Well what I didn't know was there was other facets to the job....and I worked almost exclusively in Radio and Satellite Communications, Naval Messaging, Radio and Phone Circuit Building, VTC Technician, CMS/EKMS (Cryptology)...I barely worked on a single computer the whole time I was in and did limited networking stuff. Basically everything that I learned, I didn't use, then I forgot it, but it's mostly obsolete knowledge anyhow. The most advanced OS at the time was XP and 2003 to give you an idea of what was current. Now I feel a bit lost. All of my value is in Telecommunications. It's just dispiriting to essentially start from scratch. Anyway, it would be wise for me to seek out government employment considering my military background (5 years toward retirement) and security clearance if I can get my foot in the door. Only thing is my clearance is with the DoD, and around here most of the GS jobs here are with the DoE, which uses a completely different security clearance system. Also, as of right now, due to my lapsed knowledge I am also lacking confidence. I do have my Security + cert, but that is it. Nothing else, and now COMPTIA is requiring you to update any new certs you get every few years...ughh. I suppose I would count myself pretty lucky to accomplish what you did, and I certainly won't be able to do it by 40, too old. As for that Summa Cum Laude, yeah, not gonna happen, that ship has already sailed for me. Partially do too bad luck (VA fucking shit up, making me start classes late, unexcused absences due to military obligations, and deaths in the family) and partially because I just haven't put forth enough effort. I am a mediocre student, not bad, mostly get A's and B's but not near good enough. Anyhow, thanks for the insight Girly Big Grin

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06-11-2012, 10:11 PM
RE: Aging and Seeking Direction.
(06-11-2012 09:30 PM)Dark Light Wrote:  Only thing is my clearance is with the DoD, and around here most of the GS jobs here are with the DoE, which uses a completely different security clearance system.

Think the DoD clearance is authorative, and DoE generally accepts it without question..

As it was in the beginning is now and ever shall be, world without end. Amen.
And I will show you something different from either
Your shadow at morning striding behind you
Or your shadow at evening rising to meet you;
I will show you fear in a handful of dust.
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06-11-2012, 11:09 PM
RE: Aging and Seeking Direction.
(06-11-2012 10:11 PM)GirlyMan Wrote:  
(06-11-2012 09:30 PM)Dark Light Wrote:  Only thing is my clearance is with the DoD, and around here most of the GS jobs here are with the DoE, which uses a completely different security clearance system.

Think the DoD clearance is authorative, and DoE generally accepts it without question..
If you're right then I got bad gouge.

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06-11-2012, 11:24 PM
RE: Aging and Seeking Direction.
(06-11-2012 11:09 PM)Dark Light Wrote:  
(06-11-2012 10:11 PM)GirlyMan Wrote:  Think the DoD clearance is authoratative, and DoE generally accepts it without question..
If you're right then I got bad gouge.

Well that sucks.

GirlyMan remembers being there.

As it was in the beginning is now and ever shall be, world without end. Amen.
And I will show you something different from either
Your shadow at morning striding behind you
Or your shadow at evening rising to meet you;
I will show you fear in a handful of dust.
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07-11-2012, 05:53 AM
RE: Aging and Seeking Direction.
26? I'll give ya direction. Pub's thataway -->

Kids... Dodgy

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07-11-2012, 06:05 AM
RE: Aging and Seeking Direction.
(06-11-2012 08:00 PM)GirlyMan Wrote:  
(06-11-2012 04:11 PM)Dom Wrote:  Ah yes, me too. Smile


You want mine? Be happy to give 'em to you. Big Grin


Oh no, that's just the point! It is inconceivable to people that a woman may NOT want children. If I had had children, I would not have been able to lead the varied and interesting life I did. A child takes up 18 plus years of your life and tons of money. It's not that I don't like children, they are definitely cute and enjoyable to be with - long as I am not responsible for them. If I were responsible for the welfare of another human being, from birth, helping shape them and try to help make them fit for a good life of their own, I would take that very, very seriously. It would have totally changed the course of my life. I wasn't ready for that, so I got puppies instead. They are cute and entertaining and when they get on your nerves, you open the door to the backyard and done.

Anyway, it's very annoying how people recoil in terror when they hear you have no kids. It's like being afflicted with the plague.

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07-11-2012, 06:11 AM
RE: Aging and Seeking Direction.
(07-11-2012 06:05 AM)Dom Wrote:  Oh no, that's just the point! It is inconceivable to people that a woman may NOT want children. If I had had children, I would not have been able to lead the varied and interesting life I did. A child takes up 18 plus years of your life and tons of money. It's not that I don't like children, they are definitely cute and enjoyable to be with - long as I am not responsible for them. If I were responsible for the welfare of another human being, from birth, helping shape them and try to help make them fit for a good life of their own, I would take that very, very seriously. It would have totally changed the course of my life. I wasn't ready for that, so I got puppies instead. They are cute and entertaining and when they get on your nerves, you open the door to the backyard and done.

Anyway, it's very annoying how people recoil in terror when they hear you have no kids. It's like being afflicted with the plague.
I always tell them that I'm being responsible because the world is overpopulated as it is, so I'm only doing my little bit to help Yes

BTW, came across this today http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/magazine-20219349 It's not the same, but it just gives me one more reason to feel like I have "failed at life". It's actually sad, leading your life thinking that your way is the only right one and people can only find happiness in the places and things you did/do. Now this would make me feel like a failure.

"E se non passa la tristezza con altri occhi la guarderĂ²."
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07-11-2012, 06:25 AM
RE: Aging and Seeking Direction.
People hate difference.

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