Agony TTAunt
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04-01-2014, 09:27 AM
RE: Agony TTAunt
Thank you Witchy (T)TAunt,

Chas and I are heading for Utah in the morning for our same-sex marriage.

Let us know if your balls of crystal foretell a happy ending.

Thanks again TTAunty

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04-01-2014, 09:31 AM
RE: Agony TTAunt
(04-01-2014 09:27 AM)DLJ Wrote:  Thank you Witchy (T)TAunt,

Chas and I are heading for Utah in the morning for our same-sex marriage.

Let us know if your balls of crystal foretell a happy ending.

Thanks again TTAunty


I wholeheartedly request to attend.

(goes to check airline rates for Utah)Big Grin

When I want your opinion I'll read your entrails.
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04-01-2014, 10:23 AM
RE: Agony TTAunt
(04-01-2014 09:27 AM)DLJ Wrote:  Thank you Witchy (T)TAunt,

Chas and I are heading for Utah in the morning for our same-sex marriage.

Let us know if your balls of crystal foretell a happy ending.

Thanks again TTAunty

Of course we have a bevy of nubile young ladies accompanying us. Yes

Skepticism is not a position; it is an approach to claims.
Science is not a subject, but a method.
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04-01-2014, 10:29 AM
RE: Agony TTAunt
(04-01-2014 10:23 AM)Chas Wrote:  
(04-01-2014 09:27 AM)DLJ Wrote:  Thank you Witchy (T)TAunt,

Chas and I are heading for Utah in the morning for our same-sex marriage.

Let us know if your balls of crystal foretell a happy ending.

Thanks again TTAunty

Of course we have a bevy of nubile young ladies accompanying us. Yes

You know I'm qualified(licensed) to preform the ceremony? Just sayin........... and offering my help.Heart

When I want your opinion I'll read your entrails.
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04-01-2014, 10:57 AM
RE: Agony TTAunt
Thank you DarkLight, although my income would now allow me to pay those paltry and very reasonable fees you are offering for your service.... I may have to try the socks thing as GirlyMan suggested. By the way, you humans are forgiven for launching me and my kin into the depths of near space. But maybe you can tell the other humans to stop giving us banana puree..... bananas are better straight from the skin Smile

"God is a thought who makes crooked all that is straight." - Nietzsche

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04-01-2014, 12:12 PM
RE: Agony TTAunt
(04-01-2014 10:29 AM)WitchSabrina Wrote:  
(04-01-2014 10:23 AM)Chas Wrote:  Of course we have a bevy of nubile young ladies accompanying us. Yes

You know I'm qualified(licensed) to preform the ceremony? Just sayin........... and offering my help.Heart

When you're done, I can post-form them. Tongue

(04-01-2014 10:57 AM)SpaceMonkey Wrote:  Thank you DarkLight, although my income would now allow me to pay those paltry and very reasonable fees you are offering for your service.... I may have to try the socks thing as GirlyMan suggested. By the way, you humans are forgiven for launching me and my kin into the depths of near space. But maybe you can tell the other humans to stop giving us banana puree..... bananas are better straight from the skin Smile

No, problem. Be as kind as to sign up for exclusive offers, for my premium clientele only. Sign up today and you can receive up to 50% off of my services (exclusions apply).

Oh, and wash the sock with hot water, then dry, then soak in bleach until the sock is dissolved.

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04-01-2014, 12:23 PM
RE: Agony TTAunt
Here's another one from the mailbag:

Dear Agony TTAunt,

I recently got married. It was a lovely ceremony with many friends and family.

But things started to go wrong on the wedding night.

My new husband, previously such a warm generous and loving man, has some bizarre sexual practices.

I don't wish to recall the details but... no, no, I can't bring myself to talk about it.

What I need help with... I have a rash! It is very sore and painful and getting worse.

Can your psychic powers please advice a remedy or some relief treatment? I have tried rubbing it with a toad but it didn't do any good.

Yours,
Ashamed from Utah.

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04-01-2014, 12:35 PM
RE: Agony TTAunt
(04-01-2014 12:23 PM)DLJ Wrote:  Here's another one from the mailbag:

Dear Agony TTAunt,

I recently got married. It was a lovely ceremony with many friends and family.

But things started to go wrong on the wedding night.

My new husband, previously such a warm generous and loving man, has some bizarre sexual practices.

I don't wish to recall the details but... no, no, I can't bring myself to talk about it.

What I need help with... I have a rash! It is very sore and painful and getting worse.

Can your psychic powers please advice a remedy or some relief treatment? I have tried rubbing it with a toad but it didn't do any good.

Yours,
Ashamed from Utah.

Ashamed from Utah,

Before I can even begin to advise you on what to do with your rash, I need to know what kind of sprites, demons, or spirits inflicted them on you, and for that, I'm afraid you need you to send in a video of all of the sex acts which you are ashamed of. You can trust me, I'm your Aunt. Nothing that can't be fixed, but you must act quickly.

-Aunt TTAgony

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04-01-2014, 12:50 PM
RE: Agony TTAunt
(04-01-2014 12:35 PM)Dark Light Wrote:  
(04-01-2014 12:23 PM)DLJ Wrote:  Here's another one from the mailbag:

Dear Agony TTAunt,

I recently got married. It was a lovely ceremony with many friends and family.

But things started to go wrong on the wedding night.

My new husband, previously such a warm generous and loving man, has some bizarre sexual practices.

I don't wish to recall the details but... no, no, I can't bring myself to talk about it.

What I need help with... I have a rash! It is very sore and painful and getting worse.

Can your psychic powers please advice a remedy or some relief treatment? I have tried rubbing it with a toad but it didn't do any good.

Yours,
Ashamed from Utah.

Ashamed from Utah,

Before I can even begin to advise you on what to do with your rash, I need to know what kind of sprites, demons, or spirits inflicted them on you, and for that, I'm afraid you need you to send in a video of all of the sex acts which you are ashamed of. You can trust me, I'm your Aunt. Nothing that can't be fixed, but you must act quickly.

-Aunt TTAgony

Dear Auntony,

OK, but why the rush? It sounds rash. A rash rash-rush!

I have PM'd a YouTube clip not containing all of the sex acts which I am ashamed of but instead, all of the sex acts of which I am ashamed.

The shadowy figures on the periphery of the clip are my husband's friends who, if you can't make it, out are dressed like this...
[Image: satanicritual1.png]

Yours,
Itchy from Utah.

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04-01-2014, 01:07 PM
RE: Agony TTAunt
(04-01-2014 12:23 PM)DLJ Wrote:  Here's another one from the mailbag:

Dear Agony TTAunt,

I recently got married. It was a lovely ceremony with many friends and family.

But things started to go wrong on the wedding night.

My new husband, previously such a warm generous and loving man, has some bizarre sexual practices.

I don't wish to recall the details but... no, no, I can't bring myself to talk about it.

What I need help with... I have a rash! It is very sore and painful and getting worse.

Can your psychic powers please advice a remedy or some relief treatment? I have tried rubbing it with a toad but it didn't do any good.

Yours,
Ashamed from Utah.

Dear Ashamed from Utah,
Just remember, the Lord never gives us more than we can stand.
I think I heard him saying, "nah, I'm thinking he can stand at least a little more than a rash. I'll check back in tomorrow".
Still waiting for a call from Pete.

Insufferable know-it-all.Einstein
Those who were seen dancing were thought to be insane by those who could not hear the music - Friedrich Nietzsche
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