Am I Over-Thinking?
Post Reply
 
Thread Rating:
  • 0 Votes - 0 Average
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
16-04-2013, 07:59 PM
Am I Over-Thinking?
I'm a fairly new atheist. It has taken me quite some time to overcome intense indoctrination. I was raised Pentecostal if that gives anyone some sort of idea of what i had to grow up around.

My mom is a very involved christian and attends church many days out of the week. Now that I'm 23, I'm not forced to attend church. I have not yet told anyone, but a few people, that i do not believe anymore.

what led me to this forum this evening was that I came across a Facebook post by my aunt that said "... A man of GOD loves GOD over you (wife)..." so I asked my mom if that seems odd to her. Her response, "well no, the bible says that we are to love god over everyone, it's in the ten commandments." I had to bite my tongue.

After all that, i now feel very discouraged. All I can think is "my own mother chooses to love a damn invisible being over her own flesh and blood?!" Am I taking this WAY too personal? Or have any of you felt this way? I see myself growing more and more frustrated everyday. The feeling of being alone all the time. No one I know (but only a few) are non-believers. Now I feel put on the back burner by my own mom. How can I compete with this "perfect" being?

Sorry if this subject has been touched on before.

Thanks,
Kris
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
16-04-2013, 08:08 PM
RE: Am I Over-Thinking?
First of all, welcome.

Second of all, I don't have the words to take away your discouragement and lonely feelings, but in my own very long life as a fundamentalist, it was my experience that plenty of people give lip-service to loving God over all else, but very few people actually live that way. The reality is you are present in your mom's life and she can't see or hear this God she says she loves, so in reality, she's going to spend more time with you than with the thought of God.

Thirdly, armed with that knowledge, you may still choose not to want to spend time with her because perhaps her religious beliefs and comments will be too much to bear if you're choosing not to tell her that you've stopped believing.

Fourthly, again, welcome to TTA!

"All that is necessary for the triumph of Calvinism is that good Atheists do nothing." ~Eric Oh My
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 2 users Like Erxomai's post
16-04-2013, 08:20 PM
RE: Am I Over-Thinking?
(16-04-2013 08:08 PM)Erxomai Wrote:  First of all, welcome.

Second of all, I don't have the words to take away your discouragement and lonely feelings, but in my own very long life as a fundamentalist, it was my experience that plenty of people give lip-service to loving God over all else, but very few people actually live that way. The reality is you are present in your mom's life and she can't see or hear this God she says she loves, so in reality, she's going to spend more time with you than with the thought of God.

Thirdly, armed with that knowledge, you may still choose not to want to spend time with her because perhaps her religious beliefs and comments will be too much to bear if you're choosing not to tell her that you've stopped believing.

Fourthly, again, welcome to TTA!

Thanks. I appreciate the kind words. I battle in my mind whether is even worth telling my mom. but I feel so fake and deceitful when i just blow it all off. I don't know much about this de-conversion process, but right now its very emotionally draining at times, scary, and lonely.

Again, thank you. =)
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
16-04-2013, 08:29 PM
RE: Am I Over-Thinking?
I agree with Mr. Awesomeness over there. She probably doesn't believe it, but would feel awful and heathen to just imply that she doesn't love god above everything else.

You're not alone, friend. Come watch some Dusty with us. It always makes me feel better.




[Image: killing-floor-screen-banner.jpg]
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 2 users Like DancingSkeletons's post
16-04-2013, 08:39 PM
RE: Am I Over-Thinking?
And whenever you feel like dancing, Skeletons will play you some Oingo Boingo. Thumbsup

"All that is necessary for the triumph of Calvinism is that good Atheists do nothing." ~Eric Oh My
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
17-04-2013, 12:30 PM
RE: Am I Over-Thinking?
(16-04-2013 07:59 PM)Cryssi45 Wrote:  what led me to this forum this evening was that I came across a Facebook post by my aunt that said "... A man of GOD loves GOD over you (wife)..." so I asked my mom if that seems odd to her. Her response, "well no, the bible says that we are to love god over everyone, it's in the ten commandments." I had to bite my tongue.

After all that, i now feel very discouraged. All I can think is "my own mother chooses to love a damn invisible being over her own flesh and blood?!" Am I taking this WAY too personal? Or have any of you felt this way? I see myself growing more and more frustrated everyday. The feeling of being alone all the time. No one I know (but only a few) are non-believers. Now I feel put on the back burner by my own mom. How can I compete with this "perfect" being?

Sorry if this subject has been touched on before.
This is a very reasonable concern. People's love of "God" is a scary and dangerous thing. This is the stuff of murdering the children, both Old Testament and "honor killings" in Islam.
Furthermore, how can any commandment cause anyone to love God? To command love is foolish.

But on whole another level, I can understand this. Loving god, if it's a genuine inner experience it's just that, an experience of love. It does not mean loving people less, it rather gives more love to pass on to others. If that's what it is and not just phrases. Here god is understood as one's better or higher part of self, it's very intimate. It's good if both people in a relationship have this experience. I prefer not to use this religious language, as it gives wrong ideas, but the inner experience is actually very positive. I'd say it's the best thing about religion, besides the company. It's just... not something that you choose, but something that comes to you out of nowhere and if this downright mystical experience happens to be more intense than family relationships... it's nobody's fault, not a fault really.

I guess your relatives are rather normal religious people who are not much into mysticism, I suppose. You never know, it's better to check. I found out that my Christian childhood friend is pretty liberal thanks to the mystical experience.

If you claim there are nuances to principles, there are no nuances to getting arrested or shot for disobeying the power.
The Venus Project
FreeDomain Radio - The greatest philosophy show on the web!
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 1 user Likes Luminon's post
17-04-2013, 04:24 PM
RE: Am I Over-Thinking?
Welcome aboard.

[Image: garbage-day-o.gif]
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 1 user Likes ELK12695's post
17-04-2013, 04:43 PM
RE: Am I Over-Thinking?
Welcome. Your mother loves you more than god, even if she won't admit it out loud. In a time of personal crisis, she'll come to where you are and hug you, not head to church to pray for you! Unfortunately, after you feel better, and she can tell that you feel better, you'll have to deal with her telling you god helped. Wink
Just role your eyes so she can't see it, hug her back, and save up for your own place Smile

Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 1 user Likes TheGulegon's post
17-04-2013, 08:55 PM
RE: Am I Over-Thinking?
You guys are so supportive. I was so afraid that I would get the "stop whining" speech. I guess I'm used to the average Reddit response haha. But anyway. You all have such kind words, such compassion. And when I look back at how I used to view atheists as "monsters", i face palm and feel guilty. Now that I am on the same path as all you guys, I finally have a realistic perspective. You're all just great people with a bad, unrealistic reputation. Thank to all of you who have responded with such kindness.
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 2 users Like Cryssi45's post
17-04-2013, 09:17 PM
RE: Am I Over-Thinking?
(17-04-2013 08:55 PM)Cryssi45 Wrote:  You guys are so supportive. I was so afraid that I would get the "stop whining" speech. I guess I'm used to the average Reddit response haha. But anyway. You all have such kind words, such compassion. And when I look back at how I used to view atheists as "monsters", i face palm and feel guilty. Now that I am on the same path as all you guys, I finally have a realistic perspective. You're all just great people with a bad, unrealistic reputation. Thank to all of you who have responded with such kindness.

You get the quit yer whining speech after a week or two. Part of our way of finding out if you're tough enough to be a real atheist. Tongue

"All that is necessary for the triumph of Calvinism is that good Atheists do nothing." ~Eric Oh My
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 2 users Like Erxomai's post
Post Reply
Forum Jump: