Am I Overreacting? :(
Post Reply
 
Thread Rating:
  • 0 Votes - 0 Average
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
04-12-2016, 10:07 PM
Am I Overreacting? :(
Hi - I was posting here for a while, and I'm back because I feel horrible about something that just happened to me yesterday...
For the past week I've been an inpatient at a mental health hospital/crisis center because of a major depressive episode. I was suicidal, and having nonstop panic attacks. This particular hospital/crisis center is very small, admits mainly low-income people on Medicaid and receives government funding. It is in no way affiliated with any religious organization.
Everything was going fine there. The staff was excellent - compassionate, caring, intelligent. The group sessions were extremely helpful. The other inpatients were sweet as could be. I started feeling better very quickly. Then - one half hour before I was discharged - this happened:
There was an uncharacteristically childish group therapy which consisted of, um, coloring big snowflakes to put up on the unit's bulletin board. It was led by one of the nurses, who I'd always thought was very nice. The TV was tuned to "Law and Order, which we were watching while coloring. (The only reason I participated was to pass the time during the half hour before my discharge).

The nurse said, "Oh! Law and Order is unhealthy and addictive! What would be perfect right now is a Christmas movie!" I felt myself tense up but did not say anything. (By the way, there was a huge stack of comedy movies next to the TV).
The nurse couldn't find the Christmas movie. So she said, "Okay, then, we need to listen to Christmas music!" And she tuned the cable TV to the Christmas music station. I politely spoke up. I said, "Excuse me, but I don't feel comfortable listening to Christmas music." She asked, "Why?" And I said, "I'm Jewish." (I figured that was safer than "agnostic atheist," and besides, I am indeed culturally Jewish).

The nurse SNAPPED at me - and I'm not exaggerating when I say SNAPPED - "It's not CHRISTIAN (drawing the word out slowly) - it's CHRISTMAS!"

I was bowled over by the ignorance of this comment - but I quietly said, "But that's the same thing. There are many other music channels. Can't we listen to something else - like Golden Oldies, classical, jazz, or show tunes?

So what did this nurse do? She said - in a nasty tone of voice - Sad Sad - Well, JUDITH doesn't want to listen to CHRISTMAS music, so we'll have NO MUSIC AT ALL. And she turned off the TV. She walked back to the table and started lecturing about how everybody needs a Higher Power.

None of the other patients said a word. But that's not surprising. They were all still really depressed and/or out of it - or scared by the nurse's outburst.

Right then, the aide came in to tell me I was discharged. I walked out of the room, and burst into tears. I felt bad because the other patients were deprived of music. I hadn't wanted to hurt anyone. I was also crying because I felt hurt. I wondered if I'd been wrong for speaking up.

When I got home, the hurt turned to anger. I told my mental health support person (who comes to my apartment a few times a week) what had happened and he said that definitely what that nurse did was very, very wrong.

Today I wrote about this to FFRF.

Did I overreact? Was this as wrong as I think it was? How would you feel if this happened to you? What would you do?
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 1 user Likes jariel's post
04-12-2016, 10:11 PM
RE: Am I Overreacting? :(
You did not over react. The nurse was out of line and inappropriate. I would not hold out hope that anything will be done.
Don't let it detract from your recovery, don't dwell on it.
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 8 users Like skyking's post
04-12-2016, 10:56 PM
RE: Am I Overreacting? :(
(04-12-2016 10:11 PM)skyking Wrote:  You did not over react. The nurse was out of line and inappropriate. I would not hold out hope that anything will be done.
Don't let it detract from your recovery, don't dwell on it.

Thank you Smile Aw, I won't hold out any hope that anything will be done. But there is SOME chance that it will. And I just wanted to get this out to people who would understand - I'm not really dwelling on it to the point of being distressed. I appreciate your support.
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
04-12-2016, 11:53 PM
RE: Am I Overreacting? :(
No, you definitely aren't the one over-reacting here.

Working in that field you absolutely have to be sensitive to the feelings and needs of the patients. What that nurse did was completely the opposite of that. It was selfish in the extreme. That sort of behavior would be grounds for a reprimand in a regular work environment, and much more so in one where the psychological well-being of the patients is paramount.

Have you considered contacting the hospital regarding her behavior? They should be aware of the problem that she represents if they aren't already.

Good luck working on the depression and don't let this one petty twit get you down.

[Image: 2010-12-23.JPG]

---
Flesh and blood of a dead star, slain in the apocalypse of supernova, resurrected by four billion years of continuous autocatalytic reaction and crowned with the emergent property of sentience in the dream that the universe might one day understand itself.
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 6 users Like Paleophyte's post
05-12-2016, 12:24 AM
RE: Am I Overreacting? :(
Hug

Wishing you all the best and get well soon!
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 1 user Likes Peebothuhul's post
05-12-2016, 12:28 AM
RE: Am I Overreacting? :(
Hi there Jariel.

As a long-term sufferer of depression, hypervigilance, anxiety and panic attacks (now thankfully alleviated) I can share your concerns, and criticism of the nurse involved.

My take would be that she should have realised that this particular group wasn't suitable for you to be part of, and redirected you to some other activity while you were waiting.

You said...

Quote:There was an uncharacteristically childish group therapy which consisted of, um, coloring big snowflakes to put up on the unit's bulletin board.

This group was apparently in the early stages of therapy if they were colouring in stuff—maybe to counter an adult attention deficit, or motivation disorder? You were right that it was a childish exercise, and totally unnecessary for your case. Additionally, she was out of order in arguing and/or debating the point with you—particularly in front of other people.

I'm sorry you had to experience this nasty incident, and I'd certainly be reporting it to your regular therapist for some sort of followup. It's critical this scenario doesn't eventuate again, as it's potentially a backwards step in maintaining your equilibrium—which is possibly balanced, but maybe only delicately.

Good luck.

I'm a creationist... I believe that man created God.
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 1 user Likes SYZ's post
05-12-2016, 02:32 AM
RE: Am I Overreacting? :(
My SO and I would have probably flayed the bitch alive for turning off Law and Order.......

......

And Fred Thompson would have called it justified.............


Wink

Seriously -- the bitch was WAY out of line.......

.......................................

The difference between prayer and masturbation - is when a guy is through masturbating - he has something to show for his efforts.
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 1 user Likes onlinebiker's post
05-12-2016, 04:07 AM
RE: Am I Overreacting? :(
(04-12-2016 10:07 PM)jariel Wrote:  I felt bad because the other patients were deprived of music. I hadn't wanted to hurt anyone. I was also crying because I felt hurt. I wondered if I'd been wrong for speaking up.
Sounds like a living hell being in that environment.

You can't be responsible for other people's reactions. Some people just like to control the situation and feel threatened when challenged. Aggression can be a form of defense.

It's her, not you, these things happen from time to time to all of us, forget about it and move on.
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 1 user Likes Stevil's post
05-12-2016, 05:07 AM
RE: Am I Overreacting? :(
You did not overreact. The nurse just wanted to watch or listen to whatever she wanted to like she was at home. Law and Order is addictive and unhealthy? Really?

What seems worse to me though is her "higher power" tirade.

That stupid nurse aside though at least you can feel good that you have access to professional mental health care.

Good luck.
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 1 user Likes I'mFred's post
05-12-2016, 05:20 AM
RE: Am I Overreacting? :(
I think her reaction was over the top, while yours was fine. It was not unreasonable for you to ask for different music. Glad you're out of there.

I also think that she was absolutely wrong about Christmas music being an appropriate thing to listen to at all. For many people who are culturally Christian, Christmas music is loaded with tunes that bring back strong memories, not all of them positive. Her reaction is typical of people who take their privilege for granted being challenged: not only do they reject the request, they reject the right of the person to make the request and get angry in the process.
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 1 user Likes julep's post
Post Reply
Forum Jump: