Am I bad person for not liking kids?
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27-03-2015, 06:16 PM
RE: Am I bad person for not liking kids?
No, you are not a bad person. What is bad is society selling scripts to life as if everyone is the same. Gender rolls and class issues too. The worst thing humans do is swallow script thinking and then when life changes on them they are not prepared for it, mostly in an emotional sense, not always about economics.

It is better to understand your own comfort level and not let others define you.

Poetry by Brian37(poems by an atheist) Also on Facebook as BrianJames Rational Poet and Twitter Brianrrs37
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27-03-2015, 07:23 PM
RE: Am I bad person for not liking kids?
Then there are no other ignorant inferences "Not married yet" or "No kids yet"? I suspect the speakers of those remarks have no idea of how ignorant and nosey they sound.
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27-03-2015, 11:20 PM
RE: Am I bad person for not liking kids?
As a parent, all I have to say is that you don't know what you're missing. Drinking Beverage

On the other hand.....I do know what I am missing. Weeping

But really, even though I wouldn't trade it for anything....I completely empathize with those who don't want kids. You do you, that's what it's about.

But now I have come to believe that the whole world is an enigma, a harmless enigma that is made terrible by our own mad attempt to interpret it as though it had an underlying truth.

~ Umberto Eco
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28-03-2015, 02:46 AM
RE: Am I bad person for not liking kids?
Do I think you're "bad" for disliking chokdren? No. I think it's unfortunate to paint with a broad brush of not liking kids, period. I mean, to each his own, but you're missing out. Kids are just people that are still finding their place in the world. I love their curiosity.

Some kids I like, some I don't. Some adults I like, some I don't. Some kids are brats, some adults are assholes. Some kids are inspiring, as are some adults. My son is a lot like me - basically, he's fucking awesome.

Babies and toddlers make me anxious. It was all I could do to maintain my sanity with a baby that cried every night until he was 18 months old (I was still in nursing school when he was born, he was unplanned, things were very, very difficult).

Even so, my son is THE most amazing person on this planet - anyone who disagrees is a moron and a total ass. He is absolutely adorable, anything he has to say is interesting. He's compassionate and funny, super smart. Well mannered. He can entertain himself but loves to be sociable. Some babies are ugly - not mine. He was prettier than the Gerber baby. Now he could be a child model. He gives meaning to my life - if I don't have myself to live for, I still have him.

It really is different when it's your own. You can see parts of your personality staring back at you from this precious little person. When they're little, you are their world. And they are yours. You are their end-all be-all. At the end of the day, I may no longer have a husband that comes home to me, but I will always have my son. Divorce can't erase that.

My son is six. Right now, his love is unconditional. I'm his Mommy. You can't put a price on that.

"If there's a single thing that life teaches us, it's that wishing doesn't make it so." - Lev Grossman
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28-03-2015, 02:59 AM
RE: Am I bad person for not liking kids?
There will come a time in human history (if we survive long enough) - where those people who made the deliberate decision to NOT procreate will be seen as insightful, thoughtful people. Not demonized as "selfish" - for not wanting to fill the world to overflowing with children.

.......................................

The difference between prayer and masturbation - is when a guy is through masturbating - he has something to show for his efforts.
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28-03-2015, 03:15 AM (This post was last modified: 28-03-2015 03:18 AM by The Polyglot Atheist.)
RE: Am I bad person for not liking kids?
(28-03-2015 02:46 AM)Nurse Wrote:  Do I think you're "bad" for disliking chokdren?

Uhm what is a chokdren? Consider Tongue

Nerwin, it's your life so obviously it's up to you to do whatever you want. I wouldn't mind having kids but it's not a mandatory thing to do. Live your own life as you want. Smile

孤独 - The Out Crowd
Life is a flash of light between two eternities of darkness.
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28-03-2015, 04:11 AM
RE: Am I bad person for not liking kids?
I think maybe the kid you don't like is you. You said you had a tough childhood. Having said that, I am 52 years old and have no kids. Sometimes I regret that and think of the wonderful life I would have had if I had had them. Could have watched them grow up and hugged them in the tall grass and stuff! But the truth is, I would have sucked as a Dad! I am totally self absorbed. I lived with a woman and her son for eight years and hated it! I think you are too young to decide, today, that you will never have kids. But not wanting them doesn't make you a serial killer! Let your brother do his thing, while you do yours.
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28-03-2015, 06:57 AM
Re: Am I bad person for not liking kids?
Your family is disappointed that you don't share in their excitement. Remind them that it's THEIR exciting life change, not yours. The fact that you are happy for them should be enough.
I dislike kids in general. Very much so when they are infants and toddlers; they are kind of alright once they start thinking and reasoning. Then bam! Teenagers!
It's fine to not like or never have kids, as long as one is kind to the kids who do come around. Having some of your own does not necessarily make it better, either.
Don't like kids? Don't have any. Problem solved. That's no one else's business. And hey, if you ever change your mind, you can always foster older kids who are stuck in the system.
If you're asked about having kids, look them straight in the eye and say "I'm waiting until I'm emotionally and financially stable enough to support a child." Imply that they are none of these things. They will (more than likely) either shut up or make excuses for themselves. Big Grin
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28-03-2015, 08:07 AM
RE: Am I bad person for not liking kids?
Children are delicious. You are a bad person for not liking them.

Give me your argument in the form of a published paper, and then we can start to talk.
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28-03-2015, 08:15 AM
RE: Am I bad person for not liking kids?
i totally didn't understand or have any interest in kids until i had my own. Dislike is a bit of a off-putting term, as I do find it a bit odd to classify an entire group of extremely diverse individuals as if they are all to be equally disliked regardless of anything except for their age. I'm very empathetic to babies, toddlers and young children though, as most of them are merely acting on instinct and/or response to stimuli largely out of their control. I would encourage anyone who dislikes kids to do a quick google search on brain development just to have a little more understanding for why these little people can have trouble fitting into adult expectations.
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