Am I bad person for not liking kids?
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29-03-2015, 07:15 PM
RE: Am I bad person for not liking kids?
I have 3 kids, I love them very much and I even like them most of the time. But I only like my kids. And babies. I think babies are cute. But other people's kids...no just no. I don't like kids. I don't think it makes you a bad person.

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29-03-2015, 07:45 PM
RE: Am I bad person for not liking kids?
(29-03-2015 07:13 PM)One Above All Wrote:  You're not a bad person for not liking kids. I don't like them either. Annoying little bastards. Not liking something doesn't make you a bad person, even if that something is a living thing.
On a personal note, don't let the old people talk down to you ("Oh, you're just young; you could/will change your mind in the future").

I don't think it's talking down to acknowledge that things can change over time. Some things do, some don't.
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29-03-2015, 07:47 PM
RE: Am I bad person for not liking kids?
(29-03-2015 07:15 PM)Losty Wrote:  I have 3 kids, I love them very much and I even like them most of the time. But I only like my kids. And babies. I think babies are cute. But other people's kids...no just no. I don't like kids. I don't think it makes you a bad person.

I'm kind of the same way. I have a nephew and I love him to death, but other people's kids, not so much. Babies are cute. Either way, doesn't make you a bad person. Everyone is different.
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29-03-2015, 07:50 PM
RE: Am I bad person for not liking kids?
(29-03-2015 07:45 PM)BeardFist McFistBeard Wrote:  I don't think it's talking down to acknowledge that things can change over time. Some things do, some don't.

I think it's condescending/arrogant for (mainly) three reasons:
1 - You're assuming (or at least acting like) the OP doesn't know that
2 - You're assuming the OP could/will change his mind because you yourself (or someone you know) also did, rather than simply because opinions change over time
3 - Not only are you assuming 2, but you're assuming the OP will change his mind to be in line with yours

Tell me I'm wrong (serious request, by the way; I'd like to meet someone older than myself who's not a condescending prick to younger people).

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29-03-2015, 08:05 PM
RE: Am I bad person for not liking kids?
(29-03-2015 07:50 PM)One Above All Wrote:  
(29-03-2015 07:45 PM)BeardFist McFistBeard Wrote:  I don't think it's talking down to acknowledge that things can change over time. Some things do, some don't.

I think it's condescending/arrogant for (mainly) three reasons:
1 - You're assuming (or at least acting like) the OP doesn't know that
2 - You're assuming the OP could/will change his mind because you yourself (or someone you know) also did, rather than simply because opinions change over time
3 - Not only are you assuming 2, but you're assuming the OP will change his mind to be in line with yours

Tell me I'm wrong (serious request, by the way; I'd like to meet someone older than myself who's not a condescending prick to younger people).

Firstly, no condescension was meant. Most of the responses are probably things he's thought already. As for 2, don't we all only have our own experience to go by? I've seen many people change their mind about many things when they've gotten older. This could be one of those things or it might not be. 3, I have no skin in the game. I even followed up by saying I myself don't really care for kids that much, just my nephew. And babies are cute lol.
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29-03-2015, 10:29 PM
RE: Am I bad person for not liking kids?
(29-03-2015 07:50 PM)One Above All Wrote:  
(29-03-2015 07:45 PM)BeardFist McFistBeard Wrote:  I don't think it's talking down to acknowledge that things can change over time. Some things do, some don't.

I think it's condescending/arrogant for (mainly) three reasons:
1 - You're assuming (or at least acting like) the OP doesn't know that
2 - You're assuming the OP could/will change his mind because you yourself (or someone you know) also did, rather than simply because opinions change over time
3 - Not only are you assuming 2, but you're assuming the OP will change his mind to be in line with yours

Tell me I'm wrong (serious request, by the way; I'd like to meet someone older than myself who's not a condescending prick to younger people).

Is it younger people or just you?
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30-03-2015, 12:19 AM
RE: Am I bad person for not liking kids?
(29-03-2015 07:50 PM)One Above All Wrote:  I'd like to meet someone older than myself who's not a condescending prick to younger people).

I didn't think anything was condescending or arrogant. Your "the old people" remark may have been a bit arrogant but in a passive aggressive way. Undecided

There are plenty of people just on this forum who are older than you and are super awesome

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30-03-2015, 02:29 AM (This post was last modified: 30-03-2015 02:41 AM by One Above All.)
RE: Am I bad person for not liking kids?
@BeardFist McFistBeard:
Fair enough.

@Hobbitgirl:
Everyone I've met (except those who've almost reached the average life expectancy) complains of the same problem, be they younger or older than myself. It doesn't matter if they recognize the other person as more knowledgeable in any particular field; they will still find a way to be condescending or arrogant. My conclusion is that, the older you are in relation to the person you're speaking to, the more condescending you tend to be. I include myself in this, by the way. I still find myself being condescending to young people sometimes.

@Losty:
I never said old people weren't awesome. I know plenty of them. My high school math teacher retired at the age of 60 because it was better for him, them became a free private tutor. Last we spoke he wanted to go back to college so he could tutor college students as well. However, I've never met one old person (including the aforementioned math teacher) who wasn't condescending to younger people. One bad aspect doesn't make the whole person bad, but this one seems to be pervasive.
Also, "old" is meant in a relative way. I'm an old person for some teenagers, but people who are old enough to be my parents are old people to me.

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Why settle for normal, when you can be so much more? Why settle for something, when you can have everything?
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30-03-2015, 02:43 AM (This post was last modified: 30-03-2015 02:50 AM by Alex K.)
RE: Am I bad person for not liking kids?
@OP
Here's the thing - there are many adults I don't like, why should I like them any better when they are small? I like some adults, though, and I like some kids, and maybe at the end of the day, age doesn't figure into this all that much...

That being said I really want to have kids now, (and it's a huge pain). But I didn't like the thought before, and what changed that it is my partner.

So, congrats for not feeling the urge, you can do all those other things with your life. Just allow yourself the right to change your mind if you find someone with whom it feels right. I'm not saying you will or you have to, though!
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30-03-2015, 09:29 AM
RE: Am I bad person for not liking kids?
I like children when they're someone else's and we'll behaved, but that's about it. The few exceptions could be classified as "small adults"

I'm mid 30's and childless by choice. (modern medicine, ftw)

I didn't like children when I was a child, I didn't like children as a teenager, I didn't like children as a young adult. Throughout that entire time, people constantly told me "you'll change your mind when you get older". Please, people, stop with that shit, it's insulting. It assumes the person saying they don't want children doesn't know themselves and their own desires.

You may not intended it as insulting, but it is. It's like saying "when you're a big boy, you'll understand." It's not necessarily intended as an insult, but as a polite way to say someone is ignorant of the way the world is.

Would any of you stand for a theist telling you "you'll find God when you're older and wiser"? No, because it's condescending to your sense of self and insinuates you don't know your own mind.

Don't feel bad that you don't want children, and certainly don't feel obligated to conform to anyone else's ideas of what a complete life is.

Excuse me, I'm making perfect sense. You're just not keeping up.

"Let me give you some advice, bastard: never forget what you are. The rest of the world will not. Wear it like armor, and it can never be used to hurt you." - Tyrion Lannister
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