Am I bad person for not liking kids?
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30-03-2015, 03:50 PM
RE: Am I bad person for not liking kids?
(30-03-2015 09:52 AM)Colourcraze Wrote:  
(29-03-2015 08:05 PM)BeardFist McFistBeard Wrote:  Firstly, no condescension was meant. Most of the responses are probably things he's thought already. As for 2, don't we all only have our own experience to go by? I've seen many people change their mind about many things when they've gotten older. This could be one of those things or it might not be. 3, I have no skin in the game. I even followed up by saying I myself don't really care for kids that much, just my nephew. And babies are cute lol.

I think anybody who has stated that don't want to have kids has heard a condescending reply though. Because it's rarely "oh ok, cool. It's okay if you change your mind in the future though, you know," but rather in this knowing town like "oh you'll change your mind in a few years." As if they have some kind of certainty about what my future choices will be. It's frustrating and it feels like I'm not being treated like an adult. I'm 24. My mom had two kids at my age. I seriously can not even imagine that for myself. Call me selfish? Ok. I'm selfish. I want to spend time doing the things I want to do. I want to spend my money on things for myself. I'm good with that. I also know that it's okay to change my mind, and if I do, I can look forward to all the "I knew you would"s from the condescending parents in my life. Yay.

PS. I'm a teacher so I spend a lot of time with kids. We have fun together and then I send them away to their mommies and daddies. I think it fills any kid-quota I might subconsciously have.

I agree and I apologize if it came off that way. It was not my intention. You've got to do what feels right for you personally.
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30-03-2015, 03:59 PM
RE: Am I bad person for not liking kids?
(30-03-2015 03:47 PM)BeardFist McFistBeard Wrote:  Your own experiences are anecdotal at best.

What percentage of people is sufficiently great for you to go from "anecdotal" to "statistical"?
Have you never had people older than yourself talk down to you? You'd be a first.

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30-03-2015, 04:02 PM
RE: Am I bad person for not liking kids?
(30-03-2015 10:26 AM)itsnotmeitsyou Wrote:  
(30-03-2015 09:52 AM)Colourcraze Wrote:  I think anybody who has stated that don't want to have kids has heard a condescending reply though. Because it's rarely "oh ok, cool. It's okay if you change your mind in the future though, you know," but rather in this knowing town like "oh you'll change your mind in a few years." As if they have some kind of certainty about what my future choices will be. It's frustrating and it feels like I'm not being treated like an adult. I'm 24. My mom had two kids at my age. I seriously can not even imagine that for myself. Call me selfish? Ok. I'm selfish. I want to spend time doing the things I want to do. I want to spend my money on things for myself. I'm good with that. I also know that it's okay to change my mind, and if I do, I can look forward to all the "I knew you would"s from the condescending parents in my life. Yay.

PS. I'm a teacher so I spend a lot of time with kids. We have fun together and then I send them away to their mommies and daddies. I think it fills any kid-quota I might subconsciously have.

I came to grips with the whole "selfish" thing years ago. Yes, it's selfish. I want to live life the way that I want to live life. If anyone thinks they have a say in that, they can go pound salt.

Selfish? Nah. I would say it's selfish to have kids you don't want just so you can fit it. People deserve to have the life they want and can give themselves and kids deserve to have parents who actually want them. There's nothin selfish about not having kids if you don't want them.

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30-03-2015, 04:03 PM
RE: Am I bad person for not liking kids?
(30-03-2015 02:11 PM)One Above All Wrote:  
(30-03-2015 02:06 PM)Stark Raving Wrote:  And do you feel your individual experiences accumulate to a fair sample of the population?

My experiences, plus the fact that everyone I've ever met (people both younger and older than myself) complained about the same issue (when it was brought up and they decided to give their input), were enough for me to make that leap. Thus far, I've not been proven wrong, though I hope to be.

How old are you? Gasp

Are you arrogant and condescending to everyone who is younger than you?

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30-03-2015, 04:08 PM
RE: Am I bad person for not liking kids?
(30-03-2015 04:03 PM)Losty Wrote:  How old are you? Gasp

Is it relevant? Will you respect my experience more if I'm 50 years old? If so, I'm 100 years old.

(30-03-2015 04:03 PM)Losty Wrote:  Are you arrogant and condescending to everyone who is younger than you?

I can be, on occasion, though I'm trying not to be.

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Why settle for normal, when you can be so much more? Why settle for something, when you can have everything?
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30-03-2015, 04:42 PM
RE: Am I bad person for not liking kids?
(30-03-2015 04:08 PM)One Above All Wrote:  
(30-03-2015 04:03 PM)Losty Wrote:  How old are you? Gasp

Is it relevant? Will you respect my experience more if I'm 50 years old? If so, I'm 100 years old.

No, but I don't respect your experience at all. Your experience is irrelevant. How are any of these different? "every Asian person I have met is smart, so all Asians are smart", "every young person I know is immature, so all young people are immature", "every person I know who hates kids ends up having kids and loving them, so you will too" "every old person I know is condescending and arrogant, so all old people are"


*ETA: I don't respect your experience in this context. I'm not saying I don't respect you. Just saying you're on person out of more than seven billion so your experiences plus the testimony of those you know isn't really a convincing argument for the behavior of all people older than you.

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30-03-2015, 04:50 PM (This post was last modified: 30-03-2015 04:54 PM by One Above All.)
RE: Am I bad person for not liking kids?
(30-03-2015 04:42 PM)Losty Wrote:  No, but I don't respect your experience at all.

Just for that statement, you get a "Like". I like someone who's impartial.

(30-03-2015 04:42 PM)Losty Wrote:  Your experience is irrelevant. How are any of these different? "every Asian person I have met is smart, so all Asians are smart", "every young person I know is immature, so all young people are immature", "every person I know who hates kids ends up having kids and loving them, so you will too" "every old person I know is condescending and arrogant, so all old people are"

You're missing the "everyone I've ever met (...) has complained about the same problem" bit. If it were my experience alone, I'd chalk it up to bad luck. Maybe even bias on my part, mixed with selective memory. However, being that this problem seems to span all my acquaintances, it seems less likely, wouldn't you say?

(30-03-2015 04:42 PM)Losty Wrote:  *ETA: I don't respect your experience in this context. I'm not saying I don't respect you.

I appreciate the clarification, though it was unnecessary. If you did not respect me, we wouldn't be having a polite discussion on the subject.

(30-03-2015 04:42 PM)Losty Wrote:  Just saying you're on person out of more than seven billion so your experiences plus the testimony of those you know isn't really a convincing argument for the behavior of all people older than you.

Find me an exception.

The truth is absolute. Life forms are specks of specks (...) of specks of dust in the universe.
Why settle for normal, when you can be so much more? Why settle for something, when you can have everything?
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30-03-2015, 05:23 PM
RE: Am I bad person for not liking kids?
I don't have much experience with people away from the internet. Since I left my exhusband I have gone out of my way to avoid interacting with people. I don't think a single person on the forum has ever been condescending to me because of my age. In the small amount of real life experiences I've had with people, I've been condescended to far more often because of my sex than my age. I don't let it bother me. If I can get out of a speeding ticket because oh teehee silly me I'm just a girl too clueless to understand driving I'll take it.

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30-03-2015, 05:23 PM
RE: Am I bad person for not liking kids?
I think there must be satisfaction in going-to-seed and placing yourself in the long lineage of life on earth.

Then again there is quite a lot of satisfaction in being an observer of the lineage while keeping your seed to yourself. I like kids but wouldn't want to live with any 24/7. But the number one reason I wouldn't have kids is there are just too many humans in this petri dish already. The number promises to level off and come down some, but for me, our foot print is way too big.

Hiyah, Losty. Did you get lost? Or were we all evicted?

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Tiger got to sleep, bird got to land;
Man got to tell himself he understand.”

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30-03-2015, 05:29 PM
RE: Am I bad person for not liking kids?
(30-03-2015 05:23 PM)whateverist Wrote:  I think there must be satisfaction in going-to-seed and placing yourself in the long lineage of life on earth.

Then again there is quite a lot of satisfaction in being an observer of the lineage while keeping your seed to yourself. I like kids but wouldn't want to live with any 24/7. But the number one reason I wouldn't have kids is there are just too many humans in this petri dish already. The number promises to level off and come down some, but for me, our foot print is way too big.

Hiyah, Losty. Did you get lost? Or were we all evicted?

Actually, I was here before I was there Tongue

PS. You don't have to keep your seed to yourself to avoid having children. You just have to know the right places to spill it.

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Swing with me forever, we can count up every flower, we can weather every storm.
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