Am I not my own person?
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10-09-2012, 07:39 AM
Am I not my own person?
I was told today, by someone that means a lot to me, that I have no personality of my own. I can't even explain what that even means at this point, because I'm at such a loss. My mom yelled at me this morning and told me I was hollow. That I basically retracted the characterists of the people I surround myself with. It started off with me beginning to pick up little bits from the friends I have. You know, the person you want to be reflects the people you hang out with. I started to laugh like Sarah. I started to talk like Brooklin. I'm not myself, I'm not my own person, I have no solid personality, is practically what she summed up. I expect to wake up to a bowl of cereal, not a bowl of mom's "bullshit that makes Ferdy feel bad all day." And the worst part, she's not the first to confront me about this. My friend since the 4th grade confronted me earlier this year that I was changing, and not for the better. But I just don't see what I'm doing wrong that's so bad in their eyes. I didn't think picking up laughs and language from people was excruciatingly relationship-endangering like people are making it seem. I honestly haven't been this content with myself and the kind of person I've molded into like I am right now. I don't think I've changed. And I for one believe that change, in their eyes, is actually my true colors sprouting, in my eyes. But then again, I do want to be myself, my own person. But laughs and language don't change a person's being, right?

I'm just looking for anyone's 2 cents.
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10-09-2012, 07:51 AM
RE: Am I not my own person?
Yo ferd.

We all influence each other in some way.... especially when we spend a lot of time together.

Quote:But laughs and language don't change a person's being, right?

Nope..... its an outside thing..... it doesnt change the person inside you..... the most intimate and feeling part of Ferdinand.

Have they explained to you why and what they consider the changes to be "bad"???

Also im sorry but you mum sounds like an idiot..... I know shes your mum and everything but im guessing that she is probably using you as a way too vent her own personal anguishes/taking it out on you.

For no matter how much I use these symbols, to describe symptoms of my existence.
You are your own emphasis.
So I say nothing.

-Bemore.
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10-09-2012, 08:05 AM
RE: Am I not my own person?
I would think that we all absorb things from other people that we admire, I know that I do it. Some of the words I now spell in a British English manner such as 'colour' or I pronounce garage so that it rhymes with 'carriage'. I don't think that there's anything really wrong with that. We absorb knowledge from our parents and teachers, we absorb language and slang from the society, we absorb our tastes in food from our culture, and how we were brought up. I was told when I was younger that I needed to "expand my horizons" or some horseshit. I'm not really sure what they meant, but I just found some hobbies and hoped for the best. Maybe finding a hobby, something that your friends aren't into could help to put their minds at ease. It would be something new and interesting - something that was distinctly you. (Saying all of this without knowing if you already have some hobbies like that.) Or perhaps you could take a class in something from a local community college/center, pottery, painting, dance etc.

On the one hand, I want to say that it isn't any of their business, you are still learning who you are. I think we all do that for our whole lives. But at the same time, people tend to ostracize those that make them uncomfortable, and I think that it would be terrible for that to happen.

Perhaps you should ask for clarification from your friend, can she give you an example of something that is bothering her? Can she give you an example of how things used to be, and how they are different now?

I'm probably not much help, but I do hope that you get it all sorted out.

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10-09-2012, 08:40 AM
RE: Am I not my own person?
could you be copying too much? I known some people that copied others too much and it was kind of creepy, not that they had ulterior motives to do so, they were just too chameleonic, specially with people with strong personalities.

If that's the case, you could try to be more cautious on that to avoid making your friends feel uncomfortable.
If not, then fuck them! you are who you want to be and if you want to have some characteristics that you think are cool, then who are they to tell you how you should be!? is not that you're hurting anybody...

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10-09-2012, 08:54 AM
RE: Am I not my own person?
You hang around with people because you share something in common with them. So it is really only natural that you begin to emulate them at times and pick up some of their mannerisms.

Anyone that criticizes someone for that has probably never turned that criticism back on themselves to see who they are emulating.

“Science is simply common sense at its best, that is, rigidly accurate in observation, and merciless to fallacy in logic.”
—Thomas Henry Huxley
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10-09-2012, 09:15 AM (This post was last modified: 10-09-2012 09:19 AM by Logica Humano.)
RE: Am I not my own person?
(10-09-2012 08:54 AM)TheBeardedDude Wrote:  You hang around with people because you share something in common with them. So it is really only natural that you begin to emulate them at times and pick up some of their mannerisms.

Anyone that criticizes someone for that has probably never turned that criticism back on themselves to see who they are emulating.

God has done a kind thing this day. He was so busy inspiring TheBeardedDude's words of wisdom that he couldn't help this family today.

You are who you are. If you adopt traits of other people, it is because you like them. Does that not display your own personality?

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10-09-2012, 09:26 AM
RE: Am I not my own person?
Plenty of good advice already. But you're not you're own person. I own you. Drinking Beverage

It was just a fucking apple man, we're sorry okay? Please stop the madness Laugh out load
~Izel
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10-09-2012, 09:29 AM
RE: Am I not my own person?
You are your own person. We all pick up traits and habits from those around us, whether we like it or not. They just become part of who we are. Every time I go to Liverpool I find myself talking in a scouse accent, I can't even do a scouse accent the rest of the time!

The worst thing you can do it let people make you worry about who you are. If you're acting naturally then you are being yourself, it's up to other people to decide whether it's a good you or bad you. It's when you start second-guessing your own actions that you stop being yourself.

Besides, I know I only know you online but I like who you are Smile.

Best and worst of Ferdinand .....
Best
Ferdinand: We don't really say 'theist' in Alabama. Here, you're either a Christian, or you're from Afghanistan and we fucking hate you.
Worst
Ferdinand: Everyone from British is so, like, fucking retarded.
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10-09-2012, 09:37 AM
RE: Am I not my own person?
You are your own person, but you do resemble Brooklin highly. You two are almost the same person.

I don't know how to word it, but yeah.

"You don't disappoint me.... I think your much braver than you may believe."
bemore

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10-09-2012, 09:51 AM
RE: Am I not my own person?
(10-09-2012 09:26 AM)Erxomai Wrote:  Plenty of good advice already. But you're not you're own person. I own you. Drinking Beverage





Disclaimer: I take no responsibility for any nightmares that result from the viewing of this video Ohmy

For no matter how much I use these symbols, to describe symptoms of my existence.
You are your own emphasis.
So I say nothing.

-Bemore.
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