Am I not my own person?
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11-09-2012, 07:44 AM
RE: Am I not my own person?
(11-09-2012 07:42 AM)Erxomai Wrote:  Hughsie, that's Southern Talk for she thinks you're a simpleton.

No really. I'm being serious. Tongue

Compared to Ferdinand I think I am.

Best and worst of Ferdinand .....
Best
Ferdinand: We don't really say 'theist' in Alabama. Here, you're either a Christian, or you're from Afghanistan and we fucking hate you.
Worst
Ferdinand: Everyone from British is so, like, fucking retarded.
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11-09-2012, 07:50 AM
RE: Am I not my own person?
(11-09-2012 07:44 AM)Hughsie Wrote:  
(11-09-2012 07:42 AM)Erxomai Wrote:  Hughsie, that's Southern Talk for she thinks you're a simpleton.

No really. I'm being serious. Tongue

Compared to Ferdinand I think I am.

Well compared to Ferdy we all are.

It was just a fucking apple man, we're sorry okay? Please stop the madness Laugh out load
~Izel
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11-09-2012, 08:00 AM
RE: Am I not my own person?
(11-09-2012 07:20 AM)Ferdinand Wrote:  I've drifted greatly from one of my three best friends, but I don't think it's just me. Not to turn the subject, but I'm tired of being blamed for changing. I'm not changing. I'm growing. and conversations seem to work both ways, right? So why can't a friend talk to me first, for a change? Why can't a friend admit that they are also growing up? We won't be the same people, but we can work with it.

Well I hate to break it to you, but after you graduate high school you almost certainly won't keep in contact with people that you thought you were really good friends with. Unsure I regret even getting yearbooks in high school, they were just a waste of money. Everyone grows up and goes their own separate ways, you may chat with them a bit on Facebook, but you'll have new friends by then and it just won't be the same. In my experience at least.

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11-09-2012, 08:12 AM
RE: Am I not my own person?
(11-09-2012 08:00 AM)Near Wrote:  
(11-09-2012 07:20 AM)Ferdinand Wrote:  I've drifted greatly from one of my three best friends, but I don't think it's just me. Not to turn the subject, but I'm tired of being blamed for changing. I'm not changing. I'm growing. and conversations seem to work both ways, right? So why can't a friend talk to me first, for a change? Why can't a friend admit that they are also growing up? We won't be the same people, but we can work with it.

Well I hate to break it to you, but after you graduate high school you almost certainly won't keep in contact with people that you thought you were really good friends with. Unsure I regret even getting yearbooks in high school, they were just a waste of money. Everyone grows up and goes their own separate ways, you may chat with them a bit on Facebook, but you'll have new friends by then and it just won't be the same. In my experience at least.

That's true, but 20 years later you are going to enjoy looking at those year books - and thinking about the people in them. They won't look the same to you, you'll be an adult looking at youth. It'll be a whole different experience.

I still have one good friend from grade school. The rest I look at and just shake my head and laugh.

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11-09-2012, 09:53 AM
RE: Am I not my own person?
(11-09-2012 07:20 AM)Ferdinand Wrote:  
(10-09-2012 10:06 PM)LadyJane Wrote:  I agree with previous posters, why do others mention you are changing for the worse? Maybe you are more anti social or something? Maybe your relationship has changed with them? If so, how? (specific examples). That might give some insight.

I've always been sortov social. Not the total gossip birdy, but moderately, I talk to everyone. I feel like it's because I've made new friends, and my older friends aren't happy with it. I've realized that I just don't like the people here as much as I used to. It's not that I've met better people elsewhere, because I still love the few people here. But I feel like some of those people have my wings tied. Like I'm on a leash and they refuse to let me explore. I've drifted greatly from one of my three best friends, but I don't think it's just me. Not to turn the subject, but I'm tired of being blamed for changing. I'm not changing. I'm growing. and conversations seem to work both ways, right? So why can't a friend talk to me first, for a change? Why can't a friend admit that they are also growing up? We won't be the same people, but we can work with it.

Fair enough! Well, now with you're new insight into the situation, you know you are still your own person, or growing into that person. The fact you have this question is very telling, too Smile
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11-09-2012, 02:58 PM
RE: Am I not my own person?
(10-09-2012 07:39 AM)Ferdinand Wrote:  You know, the person you want to be reflects the people you hang out with. I started to laugh like Sarah. I started to talk like Brooklin.

I do this too. I imagine a lot of people do, whether they realise it or not. Lately I'm trying to shed the mannerisms I've picked up from a person I realise is extremely hostile and not someone I want to hang around with.

Quote: My friend since the 4th grade confronted me earlier this year that I was changing, and not for the better. But I just don't see what I'm doing wrong that's so bad in their eyes. I didn't think picking up laughs and language from people was excruciatingly relationship-endangering like people are making it seem. I honestly haven't been this content with myself and the kind of person I've molded into like I am right now. I don't think I've changed. And I for one believe that change, in their eyes, is actually my true colors sprouting, in my eyes. But then again, I do want to be myself, my own person. But laughs and language don't change a person's being, right?

If some of your changes have involved moving away from deeply held beliefs your friends and family have, they may be reacting to that and deciding it's bad. For them it is: if you're not responding the same way to those beliefs as you used to, they could see you as 'going over to the dark side' or something. (I'm assuming you've moved in the atheist direction 'cos you're here at TTA; please correct me if I'm wrong about that.) At heart they probably think they're helping you by attempting to steer you away from 'bad influences'. A couple of my friends have had difficulty with my transition to non-belief. Some people just can't handle it when someone who's 'been on their side' for a long time suddenly goes, 'Well, nope: I don't believe in that any more.' Some will grab you and desperately try to keep you in their fold; others may just slap a 'oh, you believe in God; you just don't know it' label on your face. Which is disrespectful, but that may be the only way they know how to deal with a long-time friend going in that direction.

"The amazing thing is that every atom in your body came from a star that exploded. ... So, forget Jesus. The stars died so that you could be here today." -- Lawrence Krauss
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11-09-2012, 03:13 PM
RE: Am I not my own person?
(11-09-2012 07:37 AM)Dom Wrote:  
(11-09-2012 07:35 AM)Logica Humano Wrote:  -_-

Rofl! People keep thinking I am male, so I consider it even anyways.

I look on people's profiles before I address them. Angel

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11-09-2012, 04:31 PM
RE: Am I not my own person?
(11-09-2012 03:13 PM)Logica Humano Wrote:  
(11-09-2012 07:37 AM)Dom Wrote:  Rofl! People keep thinking I am male, so I consider it even anyways.

I look on people's profiles before I address them. Angel

Ahh, you are a better man than me Smile

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11-09-2012, 06:06 PM
RE: Am I not my own person?
(11-09-2012 02:58 PM)calmblueocean Wrote:  If some of your changes have involved moving away from deeply held beliefs your friends and family have, they may be reacting to that and deciding it's bad. I'm assuming you've moved in the atheist direction 'cos you're here at TTA; please correct me if I'm wrong about that. At heart they probably think they're helping you by attempting to steer you away from 'bad influences'.

I wouldn't say my changes have anything to do with beliefs. When it comes to describing my own beliefs, I don't really know what to call myself. I don't care to give myself a title, a label. I think religion can be interesting, but evidently, so can science; at the same time, I don't really care or ponder about the existence of a deity. It's just not a topic that floats behind my mind. I'm Ferdinand. When I die, they'll play the song "Drop it like it's hot" by Snoop Dog when they put me in the ground.

(11-09-2012 07:43 AM)Jeff Wrote:  Ferdinand, tell me about yourself. What are your likes and dislikes? What do you do for fun? Favorite subjects at school and why?

I enjoy the internet, computers, video games, writing, music, food and cats. I dislike mean or morally useless people, and people who also don't like cats. I basically do everything I mentioned I liked. Choir, Journalism, History, Science, English, Math. In that order.

Update: My mother's not a patient person with letting her feet test the ways of the water. She jumps straight into the flood. She's not very welcoming to change. She covers the smallest furnishings with the largest upholstery. There's no persuading or convincing. There is only my ability to do what she says and try to change my habits. Unsure
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11-09-2012, 08:00 PM
RE: Am I not my own person?
Did you say choir? I used to sing Tenor/Baritone/Bass. Mainly Bass in varsity choir, and mainly Tenor in Madrigals. As long as you have some interests, then that's great. Smile

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