Am really getting sick of theists hurting me.
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18-02-2015, 08:07 AM
Am really getting sick of theists hurting me.
I am an atheist. I've teetered between feigning belief and outright apostasy for years until I discovered TTA.

I am married and have two kids. My wife recently discovered TTA and has given up most of her belief. We are raising our kids without forcing belief on them, teaching them that religion exists, but leaving them to take the evidence for themselves.

We've lost friends. And family. We had friends who now homeschool their kids and they blocked us on facebook and spread rumors about us. We had family, older cousins (retired age-we are in our late 30s) who used to spend all sorts of time with us. We went over several times a week for dinner or to hang on the back porch, they were close to our children. Now...nothing. They don't answer our calls, don't call us.

It's not so much that they disowned us, but they don't talk to the kids. My oldest who is 7 stopped asking to see them. It pains me.

I know it is because of our lack of belief. The thing is, I do have devoutly religious friends who flaunt their religion and I don't hold that against them. Now they don't know we are unbelievers, and I can only assume from past experience that we would lose them as friends if they knew.

Why can I, a non believer, be okay with their belief, but they cannot be ok with ours?

It makes me want to be strongly ANTI THEIST. I want to mock them and hurt them the ways I was hurt by them. I won't do it. I am better than that.

Why are you still reading this line when it is obviously my signature line?
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18-02-2015, 08:46 AM
RE: Am really getting sick of theists hurting me.
(18-02-2015 08:07 AM)FaceOfBoe Wrote:  Why can I, a non believer, be okay with their belief, but they cannot be ok with ours?

My guess is they see you as a threat, which is where all the rumors come from. After all, if a nice guy like you can be an atheist, who's next? It's far easier for them to assume you weren't ever a nice guy than it is for them to actually examine their beliefs.

Sadly, they totally lose sight of the human cost in all of this on their path to making themselves feel better.

I'm not trying to brag, but I'm really glad my family has taken my lack of belief as well as they have and that many of my friends my age already don't believe. Hopefully over time, you can find less judgmental friends.


(18-02-2015 08:07 AM)FaceOfBoe Wrote:  It makes me want to be strongly ANTI THEIST. I want to mock them and hurt them the ways I was hurt by them. I won't do it. I am better than that.

I'm glad that after all that, you can still get to this point.
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18-02-2015, 08:55 AM
RE: Am really getting sick of theists hurting me.
"Why can I, a non believer, be okay with their belief, but they cannot be ok with ours?"

Obviously you are not okay with their belief when you say..."I, a non believer"
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18-02-2015, 09:02 AM
RE: Am really getting sick of theists hurting me.
(18-02-2015 08:55 AM)Anti Wrote:  "Why can I, a non believer, be okay with their belief, but they cannot be ok with ours?"

Obviously you are not okay with their belief when you say..."I, a non believer"

How do you survive with such poor reading comprehension?

Atheism: it's not just for communists any more!
America July 4 1776 - November 8 2016 RIP
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18-02-2015, 09:11 AM
RE: Am really getting sick of theists hurting me.
(18-02-2015 09:02 AM)unfogged Wrote:  
(18-02-2015 08:55 AM)Anti Wrote:  "Why can I, a non believer, be okay with their belief, but they cannot be ok with ours?"

Obviously you are not okay with their belief when you say..."I, a non believer"

How do you survive with such poor reading comprehension?

What do you mean?
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18-02-2015, 09:14 AM
RE: Am really getting sick of theists hurting me.
does anyone else detect projection in #3 ?

to the OP, this is nothing new tbh, they always do stuff like this

to them religion is necessary to be "good" so to them not being religious is equivalent of giving up all morality which is no matter how you slice it silly

humans have a natural tendency to do whatever it takes to ease their minds when whatever they believe in is under threat such as a different opinion regardless of who gets hurt
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18-02-2015, 09:22 AM (This post was last modified: 18-02-2015 09:26 AM by goodwithoutgod.)
RE: Am really getting sick of theists hurting me.
(18-02-2015 08:07 AM)FaceOfBoe Wrote:  I am an atheist. I've teetered between feigning belief and outright apostasy for years until I discovered TTA.

I am married and have two kids. My wife recently discovered TTA and has given up most of her belief. We are raising our kids without forcing belief on them, teaching them that religion exists, but leaving them to take the evidence for themselves.

We've lost friends. And family. We had friends who now homeschool their kids and they blocked us on facebook and spread rumors about us. We had family, older cousins (retired age-we are in our late 30s) who used to spend all sorts of time with us. We went over several times a week for dinner or to hang on the back porch, they were close to our children. Now...nothing. They don't answer our calls, don't call us.

It's not so much that they disowned us, but they don't talk to the kids. My oldest who is 7 stopped asking to see them. It pains me.

I know it is because of our lack of belief. The thing is, I do have devoutly religious friends who flaunt their religion and I don't hold that against them. Now they don't know we are unbelievers, and I can only assume from past experience that we would lose them as friends if they knew.

Why can I, a non believer, be okay with their belief, but they cannot be ok with ours?

It makes me want to be strongly ANTI THEIST. I want to mock them and hurt them the ways I was hurt by them. I won't do it. I am better than that.

True love and mutual respect for one another knows no boundaries. If the son comes out gay, and the father disowns him, then his love was false. You love and accept your kids no matter what they are. You may be disappointed, you may not even like who they are as a person, or what they do for a living, but you still love them unconditionally. Otherwise your love had conditions..you must do A, B and C and then I will love you...this is disingenuous.

My best friend at work is a fundamentalist (think I am cracking his worldview though finally hehe) and he knows I am a strong atheist. We have had many long discussions, even some heated arguments about theology, but in the end, we shake it off, and go on enjoying each other's company while respecting each other as good human beings, with different life perspectives...why? Because we truly have mutual respect for one another.

My mother is a devout pentecostal minister, she can't get three words out without two of them being jesus....she knows where I am at theologically....we love and respect one another, while privately disagreeing about each other's worldviews...she did not disown me because I am an atheist...because she truly loves me.

The same goes for my father.

The point I am making is it is not and will not be easy to be true to yourself. But that is the only way you can go forward...to live a lie sucks the life out of you, the man out of you, the father out of you, the husband out of you...you cannot pretend to believe something you know is false. Your wife and kids deserve you to be strong, and honest and true to your convictions.

Anyone in your inner circle that has turned their back on you, has done you a favor. They showed you who they truly are, and their true feelings towards you and your family. All of those fake laughs, and smiles, and claps on the shoulder, inclusion in their lives was all predicated in the belief that you believed...without belief you are cancerous to them. If they had truly respected you, loved you and were true friends, they would have adjusted, and moved on with you.....be grateful they exposed their true colors. Now you can shrug the ignorance and disingenous pretend love off, and find true friends. Best of luck on your journey.

"Belief is so often the death of reason" - Qyburn, Game of Thrones

"The Christian community continues to exist because the conclusions of the critical study of the Bible are largely withheld from them." -Hans Conzelmann (1915-1989)
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18-02-2015, 09:24 AM
RE: Am really getting sick of theists hurting me.
To many religious types, saying you don't believe in god is the same as worshipping the devil, and embracing all that is evil.
Many theists, maybe even the majority, don't know what the real definition of 'atheist' is. They know they hate them though.
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18-02-2015, 09:50 AM
RE: Am really getting sick of theists hurting me.
The last time that my older cousins were over for supper they made a point of praying before the meal and having my oldest say the prayer. He did good, he did a non commital "thank those that worked so hard for this meal, mommy and daddy, etc."

I let it go because there is a time and a place to pick a fight, and over a plate of spaghetti in front of your children is not one of them.

Why are you still reading this line when it is obviously my signature line?
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18-02-2015, 10:04 AM
RE: Am really getting sick of theists hurting me.
(18-02-2015 08:55 AM)Anti Wrote:  "Why can I, a non believer, be okay with their belief, but they cannot be ok with ours?"

Obviously you are not okay with their belief when you say..."I, a non believer"

"OK" does not equal "I agree with it". I'm OK with my sister being a JW. It's her decision. She's a responsible adult (except maybe on blood transfusions). We've had conversations about her beliefs and my atheism (lack of belief!) and we're both "OK" with each other. There are other issues on which we disagree, and we're OK on them too.
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