Am really getting sick of theists hurting me.
Post Reply
 
Thread Rating:
  • 0 Votes - 0 Average
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
18-02-2015, 12:40 PM
RE: Am really getting sick of theists hurting me.
(18-02-2015 08:07 AM)FaceOfBoe Wrote:  I am an atheist. I've teetered between feigning belief and outright apostasy for years until I discovered TTA.

I am married and have two kids. My wife recently discovered TTA and has given up most of her belief. We are raising our kids without forcing belief on them, teaching them that religion exists, but leaving them to take the evidence for themselves.

We've lost friends. And family. We had friends who now homeschool their kids and they blocked us on facebook and spread rumors about us. We had family, older cousins (retired age-we are in our late 30s) who used to spend all sorts of time with us. We went over several times a week for dinner or to hang on the back porch, they were close to our children. Now...nothing. They don't answer our calls, don't call us.

It's not so much that they disowned us, but they don't talk to the kids. My oldest who is 7 stopped asking to see them. It pains me.

I know it is because of our lack of belief. The thing is, I do have devoutly religious friends who flaunt their religion and I don't hold that against them. Now they don't know we are unbelievers, and I can only assume from past experience that we would lose them as friends if they knew.

Why can I, a non believer, be okay with their belief, but they cannot be ok with ours?

It makes me want to be strongly ANTI THEIST. I want to mock them and hurt them the ways I was hurt by them. I won't do it. I am better than that.

I did too. It's hard, but in the long run it's probably for the best.

I could return and "pretend" keep my thoughts to myself, but why lie? I never once judged them for their belief. I never once told them I felt they were stupid to believe.

My attitude toward them was always live and let live. But when they learned I didn't believe then trouble began.

I was told to repent, I was prayed for, I had books mailed to my house anonymously, I was also blocked on facebook, when I didn't miraculously change my mind. Very loving that bunch. Drinking Beverage

Honestly, I think many people do return to religion because they lose too much. It provides a comfort that they just can't get on their own and embrace the myth. I don't know if they truly believe, or if it's just what they tell themselves...cognitive dissonance.


But as if to knock me down, reality came around
And without so much as a mere touch, cut me into little pieces

Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 1 user Likes Momsurroundedbyboys's post
18-02-2015, 01:39 PM
RE: Am really getting sick of theists hurting me.
I have also been fortunate to come from a truly loving family that has not disowned me because I no longer believe. In all honesty I expected more of a major malfunction from the last fundamentalist in my family who is (1) still living and (2) seriously practicing the faith. And even he took it in stride when I recently admitted my atheism when he point-blank asked me about it. It probably helps that he's 72 years old, and has mellowed a bit; and that he is unusually "streetwise" for a fundie, being that he is part of a fairly unusual inner-city fundamentalist church (they tend to be suburban or rural) and is a big-time Section 8 landlord. He's seen it all, and has had enough experiences to know that not all poor or down and out or non-church-going people are lazy societal leeches and drug addicts, and that not all orthodox-leaning Christians are trustworthy and honest. Despite the fact that he listens to Rush Limbaugh and Art Bell and goes to a fundamentalist church he has not chosen to diss me or proselytize me or attempt to shame me or anything like that. Oddly, he ends up dropping hints about his politics and leaves his faith unmentioned, despite that I know he's super active in his church. I can overlook the occasional disparaging remark about egalitarian / liberal sentiment and not take it personally; in a way he's just yanking my chain in a good-natured way when he does that, anyway. I know he has close friends who are liberals and he can handle debating politics with them.

Sadly, my experience is unusual; the vast majority of fundies are far more rigid and defensive than that. I feel for the OP.
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 1 user Likes mordant's post
18-02-2015, 06:50 PM
RE: Am really getting sick of theists hurting me.
Make new friends who are actually friends and not people who are simply friendly.

Insanity - doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
18-02-2015, 07:02 PM
RE: Am really getting sick of theists hurting me.
(18-02-2015 08:07 AM)FaceOfBoe Wrote:  Why can I, a non believer, be okay with their belief, but they cannot be ok with ours?

They don't trust theirs enough to stand up to any challenge no matter how small.

#sigh
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 1 user Likes GirlyMan's post
18-02-2015, 07:12 PM
RE: Am really getting sick of theists hurting me.
This is completely off-topic, but...

Big Grin
[Image: Face_of_Boe.jpg]
Thumbsup

Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 1 user Likes TheGulegon's post
18-02-2015, 08:00 PM
RE: Am really getting sick of theists hurting me.
(18-02-2015 09:50 AM)FaceOfBoe Wrote:  The last time that my older cousins were over for supper they made a point of praying before the meal and having my oldest say the prayer. He did good, he did a non commital "thank those that worked so hard for this meal, mommy and daddy, etc."

I let it go because there is a time and a place to pick a fight, and over a plate of spaghetti in front of your children is not one of them.

That is amazing! I'd be so proud if my son handled it that way.

You're not alone. While my side of the family is mostly atheist, my wife's side is all Christian all the time. Prayers before meals. God references. You name it. I'm practicing restraint myself. Over Xmas my mother in-law, just prior to handing out all the gifts she had bought for the kids, whipped out her super serious tone and told all the kids to gather around because she had something to ask them. "Does anyone know what Christmas is for?" I sat there within 6 ft in a Lazy Boy biting my tongue or else I would've blurted out "That's easy Nana.. Christmas is for kids!". I was elated my son (7) and daughter (4) seemed unfazed and focused on the gifts she was holding behind her back when my nephew (5) emphatically raised his hand jumping up and down then shouted "Jesus!" followed by Nana's official "Christmas is to celebrate the birth of Jesus Christ" speech.

Probably the thing that irritates me the most is that my wife's family is well aware that I am atheistic, as is most of my family, and I've made it known I'd rather my kids not be bothered with this topic. Seems to me the logical thing to do when you realize your daughter is marrying an atheist is to be polite, respectful, and at the very least just avoid those discussions with your grandchildren. But to huddle them up and directly attempt to indoctrinate more or less with me within a few feet? Facepalm Well I guess since she was in her house I could extend enough courtesy to understand her passion. Did I mention she rents the house from me and my wife? Yes Yet still as evil as I am being of course an atheist, I sat quietly and politely reserved. It's the atheist thing to do!
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
Post Reply
Forum Jump: