Amongst the fastest things in the universe are -
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20-09-2016, 06:31 AM
RE: Amongst the fastest things in the universe are -
Mark Watney.
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20-09-2016, 07:16 AM
RE: Amongst the fastest things in the universe are -
A lie.

“A lie can travel half way around the world while the truth is putting on its shoes.”― Mark Twain

“I am quite sure now that often, very often, in matters concerning religion and politics a man’s reasoning powers are not above the monkey’s.”~Mark Twain
“Ocean: A body of water occupying about two-thirds of a world made for man - who has no gills.”~ Ambrose Bierce
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20-09-2016, 10:08 AM
RE: Amongst the fastest things in the universe are -
(20-09-2016 07:16 AM)Full Circle Wrote:  A lie.

“A lie can travel half way around the world while the truth is putting on its shoes.”― Mark Twain

Two Mark's in a row. Thumbsup
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20-09-2016, 11:03 AM
RE: Amongst the fastest things in the universe are -
The quickie is the fastest thing possible. The story goes Fred was drunk and walking down the street when he had to take a shit. So he dropped his drawers and shat on the side walk. Just as he was adjusting his britches he saw a cop coming along, so he dropped his hat on the pile at his feet. The cop asked what was under the hat. "It's a quickie."
"What do you mean a quickie?"
"The fastest animal in the world."
"Then how did you capture it under your hat?"
"I saw it 3 blocks away and dropped my hat and there it is!" Fred answered.
The cop bent over and started to pick up the hat readying his hand to catch the quickie, as he lifted the hat he made a quick grab and held Fred's turds in his hand.
"See what did I tell you? It shit in your hand and got away and you didn't even see it did you?"
Got something faster than that?
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20-09-2016, 11:07 AM (This post was last modified: 20-09-2016 11:30 AM by Bucky Ball.)
RE: Amongst the fastest things in the universe are -
(19-09-2016 05:56 PM)Leela Wrote:  Me running to the bedroom when the smoke alarm goes off because cooking is happening in the kitchen.
Me jumping to reach the button to turn the fucking smoke alarm off but not quite reaching it or punching the box instead of the button because I got not fucking hand-eye coordination.

That's good and bad.
The smoke alarm going off is how my brother says he knows his toast is done.
Big Grin

Insufferable know-it-all.Einstein God has a plan for us. Please stop screwing it up with your prayers.
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20-09-2016, 11:44 AM
RE: Amongst the fastest things in the universe are -
(19-09-2016 06:00 PM)Anjele Wrote:  
(19-09-2016 08:17 AM)Gloucester Wrote:  My finger heading for the radio off button on the first note of the signature tune of "The Archers - an everyday story of country folk" the world's longest running radio soap.

:puke:

My finger heading for the radio off button on the first note of Free Bird.

Rainbow Vomit
I'll join you in that

Rainbow Vomit

(I was stoopid enough to ignore the implicit warning and Google it)

Tomorrow is precious, don't ruin it by fouling up today.
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22-09-2016, 06:57 PM
RE: Amongst the fastest things in the universe are -
Heart of Gold spaceship, the first prototype ship to successfully use the revolutionary Infinite Improbability Drive.
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23-09-2016, 06:35 AM
RE: Amongst the fastest things in the universe are -
(19-09-2016 06:00 PM)Anjele Wrote:  
(19-09-2016 08:17 AM)Gloucester Wrote:  My finger heading for the radio off button on the first note of the signature tune of "The Archers - an everyday story of country folk" the world's longest running radio soap.

:puke:

My finger heading for the radio off button on the first note of Free Bird.

Rainbow Vomit

Amen! I used to live in the south and heard that song all of the time. So annoying.
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23-09-2016, 06:38 AM
RE: Amongst the fastest things in the universe are -
(23-09-2016 06:35 AM)ghostexorcist Wrote:  
(19-09-2016 06:00 PM)Anjele Wrote:  My finger heading for the radio off button on the first note of Free Bird.

Rainbow Vomit

Amen! I used to live in the south and heard that song all of the time. So annoying.

And it never seems to end. Sadcryface

See here they are the bruises some were self-inflicted and some showed up along the way. - JF

We're all mad here. The Cheshire Cat
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