An Anhedonia Thread
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08-07-2017, 07:37 PM
RE: An Anhedonia Thread
Are you familiar with the blog "Hyperbole and a Half?" Some very poignant and at the same time, funny, stuff about depression. And some very funny stuff NOT about depression. Helped me to recognize some stuff and feel, not so alone.

This is depression, part one. There is a part two on that site as well:

http://hyperboleandahalf.blogspot.com/20...ssion.html

And for a laugh, try "The God of Cake" on that same site. And "Menace." Both of those are especially funny if you have a four-year-old involved in your life in any way.

And if you can't get out and about at least think about searching YouTube for twisted humor like anything from Joe Cartoon. If you are/were ever a fan of sick, twisted humor and you can watch a half dozen Joe Cartoon videos without laughing then, seriously, please seek help beyond what we can get from the internet.

Where are we going and why am I in this hand basket?
"Life is not all lovely thorns and singing vultures, you know." ~ Morticia Addams
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08-07-2017, 08:18 PM
RE: An Anhedonia Thread
(08-07-2017 05:07 PM)Cosmo Wrote:  ...
I feel this terrible sense of the clock ticking down on me as I waste time trying to figure out what I could do that would make me happy.
...

I distrust happiness in all its forms. Drinking Beverage

Doesn't sound like depression to me.

My bet is that you are feeling ennui coupled with (caused by) a temporary lack of direction.

See Dom's post above for the solution.

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08-07-2017, 08:18 PM
RE: An Anhedonia Thread
Not enough dopamine.

#sigh
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08-07-2017, 08:24 PM
RE: An Anhedonia Thread
Way too long. Wish I had some way to help, but I hope you find a way out.
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08-07-2017, 08:33 PM
RE: An Anhedonia Thread
(08-07-2017 05:07 PM)Cosmo Wrote:  For those who don't know what Anhedonia is, it's an inability to feel pleasure from activities that you used to or generally would find enjoyable. I've been feeling this more and more lately. I dont want to do anything, but I also don't want to do nothing. I feel this terrible sense of the clock ticking down on me as I waste time trying to figure out what I could do that would make me happy. It's a beautiful day. I feel like I should be out doing something, and I'm not, because another part of me doesn't even know where to start.

Has anybody else ever felt like this before? How did you get out of it? If you're there right now maybe just talking with each other honestly about it when we're feeling that way will help. That's my theory. Talking is doing something at least.

But geez, let me tell you I want to do something, but also so much nothing. Have felt like this for like a few weeks now. Kinda sucks. All the stuff I used to do for fun feels dull and grey.

Got me asking myself...

[Image: IMG_1453.jpg]

Anyways... thanks for listening. I actually do feel a little bit better.

> Have an orgasm. Take a nap. Eat some comfort food. It works for me. Thumbsup
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08-07-2017, 10:04 PM
RE: An Anhedonia Thread
>.> Well in my case it's most likely depression anyway. Or maybe not who know's. All I know is it's hard to get up when you have no where in life you can go, if that makes sense. Eventually food seems colorless and flavorless, games are uninteresting, hell even masturbation isn't particularly helpful. It becomes difficult to read, ya become kinda spastic and emotional at odd times, other times you just sit there staring at nothing for hours. Daily maintenance activities stop, things become messy, you forget to eat even when you have food, or rather you feel hungry but it's not enough to get you out of bed. Ya lie to people to try and hide how bad things really are and that's about the most motivation for anything you can muster.

If you've tried to be successful and had the door slammed in your face enough times you wonder if maybe you should give up, you tell yourself you don't wanna give up yet when you reflect on what you've been doing you realize you've been standing still for 2 fucking years now with no progress. Suicide is the first thought when you wake up in the morning and the last thought before you pass out. You get sleepy randomly through the day, pass out, throw up, hurt all over all the time. You feel like you might never have another happy or positive feeling ever again. You pretend to feel happy about the small seemingly good things that happen, or peoples hollow gestures of kindness when really deep inside you feel dead.

Bout the only thing I do most days is make sure my animals get their needs met, it's a struggle but at least it gets done. I play with them a lot, but idk... even the small happiness that seems to create lasts only like a moment, like a passing cloud there one moment gone the next and you just feel even more empty after, leaving you wondering if you actually felt anything at all, or just imagined it.

I kinda thought that was depression, however, I could be wrong.

But that's just to explain my above post, I really don't want anything useless from anyone. If someone wanted to help they'd offer me a decent job, that's about the only thing at this stage that would fix anything. But from the OP that's kinda the feeling I took from it which is why I said depression.

DLJ Wrote:And, yes, the principle of freedom of expression works both ways... if someone starts shit, better shit is the best counter-argument.
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09-07-2017, 03:12 AM
RE: An Anhedonia Thread
(08-07-2017 10:04 PM)JesseB Wrote:  >.> Well in my case it's most likely depression anyway. Or maybe not who know's. All I know is it's hard to get up when you have no where in life you can go, if that makes sense. Eventually food seems colorless and flavorless, games are uninteresting, hell even masturbation isn't particularly helpful. It becomes difficult to read, ya become kinda spastic and emotional at odd times, other times you just sit there staring at nothing for hours. Daily maintenance activities stop, things become messy, you forget to eat even when you have food, or rather you feel hungry but it's not enough to get you out of bed. Ya lie to people to try and hide how bad things really are and that's about the most motivation for anything you can muster.

If you've tried to be successful and had the door slammed in your face enough times you wonder if maybe you should give up, you tell yourself you don't wanna give up yet when you reflect on what you've been doing you realize you've been standing still for 2 fucking years now with no progress. Suicide is the first thought when you wake up in the morning and the last thought before you pass out. You get sleepy randomly through the day, pass out, throw up, hurt all over all the time. You feel like you might never have another happy or positive feeling ever again. You pretend to feel happy about the small seemingly good things that happen, or peoples hollow gestures of kindness when really deep inside you feel dead.

Bout the only thing I do most days is make sure my animals get their needs met, it's a struggle but at least it gets done. I play with them a lot, but idk... even the small happiness that seems to create lasts only like a moment, like a passing cloud there one moment gone the next and you just feel even more empty after, leaving you wondering if you actually felt anything at all, or just imagined it.

I kinda thought that was depression, however, I could be wrong.

But that's just to explain my above post, I really don't want anything useless from anyone. If someone wanted to help they'd offer me a decent job, that's about the only thing at this stage that would fix anything. But from the OP that's kinda the feeling I took from it which is why I said depression.

That's exactly what I went through during my first episode of depression.I got better with the help of meds.
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09-07-2017, 05:47 AM
RE: An Anhedonia Thread
I agree with the "get out of the house" advice.

Hey Cosmo, I bet your car needs a wash and vac? CLAIM some worth and value in doing a few things that you'll appreciate those efforts now and later. Find the joy/reward in that work.

Buy a kite and go to the park or beach? (if there is +- 10 mph wind.) I personally love the serenity and retrospective time spent while flying a kite at the beach.
You might work something out in that time.

Go to a nursery and pick out a plant to put in your "life". Something to watch grow, bloom that needs some of your attention.

Install a bird feeder and enjoy the squirrels that will eventually raid it.

yeah, get out of the house...

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09-07-2017, 12:42 PM
RE: An Anhedonia Thread
(08-07-2017 05:07 PM)Cosmo Wrote:  For those who don't know what Anhedonia is, it's an inability to feel pleasure from activities that you used to or generally would find enjoyable.

I was diagnosed with clinical depression around 18 years ago, and one of my long-standing (and current) symptoms is anhedonia—which is the opposite of hedonism. I've got my depression pretty well controlled with anti-depressant medication plus an anxiolytic, but the anhedonia still persists. I can fully empathise with what you're feeling right now with this insidious mental dysfunction.

Quote:I don't want to do anything, but I also don't want to do nothing. I feel this terrible sense of the clock ticking down on me as I waste time trying to figure out what I could do that would make me happy. It's a beautiful day. I feel like I should be out doing something, and I'm not, because another part of me doesn't even know where to start.

This unfortunately mirrors my everyday feelings as well. I'm totally lacking in motivation in order to start doing—literally—anything much. Even having a shower or making my bed or getting properly dressed can be a demanding task for me. And I too feel like you; my time on this planet is ticking away, with me (knowingly!) wasting every single 24 hour day doing next to nothing, spending most of my waking hours glued to the TV, or roaming the internet, or lost in books.

And like you (probably) I've lost interest in doing anything I used to enjoy; photography, target shooting, SCUBA, model building, fishing, cycling etc... People often say to me to just get off my arse and start one single task a day, and that I'll get involved spontaneously, and enjoy a "job well done". Uh uhn. Doesn't work that way (oh that it did).

Quote:But geez, let me tell you I want to do something, but also so much nothing. Have felt like this for like a few weeks now. Kinda sucks. All the stuff I used to do for fun feels dull and grey.

Yep... again I know exactly where you're coming from with this state of mind. It totally pisses me off, and I get angry with myself, and frustrated at my lack of impetus. I know what I should do, and I know all the ins and outs of this mindset, but that doesn't mean I can overcome my absolute, all-consuming negativity. If someone asks me to a BBQ or a movie, or a bike ride or fishing trip, the first thing I do is think of an excuse—or more often than not fabricate one—as to why I can't go along with them. Which is pathetic, and ultimately self-defeating.

Quote:Anyways... thanks for listening. I actually do feel a little bit better.

No problem at all mate. And I'm glad you're feeling a bit better for unloading. Smile

I'm a creationist... I believe that man created God.
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09-07-2017, 01:01 PM
RE: An Anhedonia Thread
(08-07-2017 10:04 PM)JesseB Wrote:  Well in my case it's most likely depression anyway. Or maybe not who know's. All I know is it's hard to get up when you have no where in life you can go, if that makes sense. Eventually food seems colorless and flavorless, games are uninteresting, hell even masturbation isn't particularly helpful. It becomes difficult to read, ya become kinda spastic and emotional at odd times, other times you just sit there staring at nothing for hours. Daily maintenance activities stop, things become messy, you forget to eat even when you have food, or rather you feel hungry but it's not enough to get you out of bed. Ya lie to people to try and hide how bad things really are and that's about the most motivation for anything you can muster...

You get sleepy randomly through the day, pass out, throw up, hurt all over all the time. You feel like you might never have another happy or positive feeling ever again. You pretend to feel happy about the small seemingly good things that happen, or peoples hollow gestures of kindness when really deep inside you feel dead...

Bout the only thing I do most days is make sure my animals get their needs met, it's a struggle but at least it gets done. I play with them a lot, but idk... even the small happiness that seems to create lasts only like a moment, like a passing cloud there one moment gone the next and you just feel even more empty after, leaving you wondering if you actually felt anything at all, or just imagined it.

All of the above. Hang in there mate. I like to imagine that things can only get better for folks like us—I just wish they'd hurry up a bit!

I'm also reassured to know that at least I'm not alone with this frame of mind, so at worst I'm not totally off the planet. Thumbsup

I'm a creationist... I believe that man created God.
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