An Anhedonia Thread
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12-07-2017, 07:29 PM
RE: An Anhedonia Thread
@TTA

My heart goes out to you all. Thanks for responding. I spent a few days soul searching and I think I have an answer for Jennybee and others who might be wondering why. I'm fairly certain it's the correct one.

I've been drinking a lot. Far too much. I have noticed my tolerance increasing, and with alcohol, tolerance is directly linked to your brain shutting off GABA receptors to compensate for the abuse of anxiolytics. If I'm right, a big problem I will face shortly (I've cut the drinking out, and have noticed that I'm utterly miserable for it) is an extremely long period of depression, where I have no alcohol, but the natural anxiolytic my body would produce (Gamma-Amino-butyric acid) is not present in my system due to endocrine adaptation and a downgrading of GABA receptor activity.

In short, I think I drank myself into trouble without noticing. I'm noticing now though.

~ The Universe is under no obligation to make sense to you ~
-Neil Degrasse Tyson
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12-07-2017, 07:38 PM (This post was last modified: 12-07-2017 07:52 PM by Cosmo.)
RE: An Anhedonia Thread
[Image: 59f784ffb2264858a6fefdf9609489620f7ccc32...a763ba.jpg]

For the record today is day 6 of no alcohol. Feels great in ways. Not so much in others. I feel super vulnerable after my last post but I'm not gonna remove it. I probably needed to do it.

~ The Universe is under no obligation to make sense to you ~
-Neil Degrasse Tyson
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12-07-2017, 07:55 PM
RE: An Anhedonia Thread
(12-07-2017 07:29 PM)Cosmo Wrote:  @TTA

My heart goes out to you all. Thanks for responding. I spent a few days soul searching and I think I have an answer for Jennybee and others who might be wondering why. I'm fairly certain it's the correct one.

I've been drinking a lot. Far too much. I have noticed my tolerance increasing, and with alcohol, tolerance is directly linked to your brain shutting off GABA receptors to compensate for the abuse of anxiolytics. If I'm right, a big problem I will face shortly (I've cut the drinking out, and have noticed that I'm utterly miserable for it) is an extremely long period of depression, where I have no alcohol, but the natural anxiolytic my body would produce (Gamma-Amino-butyric acid) is not present in my system due to endocrine adaptation and a downgrading of GABA receptor activity.

In short, I think I drank myself into trouble without noticing. I'm noticing now though.

Hug

Don't feel dumb...sometimes we need to talk stuff out.

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12-07-2017, 07:56 PM
RE: An Anhedonia Thread
I should have asked that. Seems like an obvious one in retrospect, with alcohol being a potential depressant. Hang in there. Glad you're working on it.

Where are we going and why am I in this hand basket?
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12-07-2017, 08:36 PM
RE: An Anhedonia Thread
(12-07-2017 07:29 PM)Cosmo Wrote:  @TTA

My heart goes out to you all. Thanks for responding. I spent a few days soul searching and I think I have an answer for Jennybee and others who might be wondering why. I'm fairly certain it's the correct one.

I've been drinking a lot. Far too much. I have noticed my tolerance increasing, and with alcohol, tolerance is directly linked to your brain shutting off GABA receptors to compensate for the abuse of anxiolytics. If I'm right, a big problem I will face shortly (I've cut the drinking out, and have noticed that I'm utterly miserable for it) is an extremely long period of depression, where I have no alcohol, but the natural anxiolytic my body would produce (Gamma-Amino-butyric acid) is not present in my system due to endocrine adaptation and a downgrading of GABA receptor activity.

In short, I think I drank myself into trouble without noticing. I'm noticing now though.

*hugs* The point is you noticed there's a problem and now you are doing something about it. There are several amazing people who are in recovery on our forum who I'm sure would be more than willing to talk with you and help point you in the right direction re: groups and people who can help you. I'm sure once they see this thread they'll be right in to help you because that's the kind of people they are. Heart

Hang in there, you can get out of all of this, I know you can. You have so much going for you with your music, intelligence, and wonderful personality--all of which should be shared with the world. Hug
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12-07-2017, 08:40 PM
RE: An Anhedonia Thread
(12-07-2017 07:38 PM)Cosmo Wrote:  [Image: 59f784ffb2264858a6fefdf9609489620f7ccc32...a763ba.jpg]

For the record today is day 6 of no alcohol. Feels great in ways. Not so much in others. I feel super vulnerable after my last post but I'm not gonna remove it. I probably needed to do it.

Don't beat yourself up. The past is in the past, it's now day 6 of your future. Keep on keeping on. No looking back, just forward. You should be proud of yourself for realizing there was a problem and doing something about it.
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12-07-2017, 09:04 PM (This post was last modified: 12-07-2017 09:13 PM by Cosmo.)
RE: An Anhedonia Thread
Thanks everyone! Hug

I have to believe I'm going to beat this feeling. I'm truly baffled at how pervasive this sense of Anhedonia is though. I wonder if it is all the drink, or if certain other parameters are factoring in.

If I had been promoted, would I still feel like this?

If me and my ex hadn't broken up, would I still feel like this?

If I still had my Acura RSX, would I still feel like this?

Things like that. I know it's all nonsense though, because that's not the reality I live in. In my reality all of those things went sour.

C'est La Vie. So now... it is time for me to figure out how to maximize what I can with the time I have I would suppose.

~ The Universe is under no obligation to make sense to you ~
-Neil Degrasse Tyson
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13-07-2017, 04:32 AM
RE: An Anhedonia Thread
What a great outlook to the future Cosmo! Often, that is what it takes.
How you will enjoy.
https://youtu.be/wlJJ_nqRA7U


You reference to C'est La Vie has made my morning! Thanks Thumbsup

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13-07-2017, 04:35 AM
RE: An Anhedonia Thread
I'm very sorry you feel this way Sad

Yes, I can totally empathise. I am extremely depressed, to the point where I have been living only for other people for many years now. I often feel no motivation to do anything. When I do, it's usually as a way of keeping my mind active in a way that isn't unpleasant so as to stave off depressive feelings/thoughts.

Sometimes all I can do is appeal to my primal side. I focus on what is important to me (people, animals) and what stimulates me (music, stark emotions, comedy, etc). I try and jump-start myself. Sometimes it works, sometimes not.

I have a website here which discusses the issues and terminology surrounding religion and atheism. It's hopefully user friendly to all.
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13-07-2017, 04:53 AM
RE: An Anhedonia Thread
(12-07-2017 07:38 PM)Cosmo Wrote:  For the record today is day 6 of no alcohol. Feels great in ways. Not so much in others.

Well, you wanted to feel again. You just have to realize that when you blunt bad feelings with alcohol, you also blunt good feelings as well. So you have to take the negative with the positive.
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