An Atheist who Found God
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29-12-2016, 07:36 PM
RE: An Atheist who Found God
PeacefulHeart.

Shithouse username as well.

NOTE: Member, Tomasia uses this site to slander other individuals. He then later proclaims it a joke, but not in public.
I will call him a liar and a dog here and now.
Banjo.
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29-12-2016, 07:43 PM
RE: An Atheist who Found God
Oh... are we taking bets on this one?

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29-12-2016, 07:59 PM
RE: An Atheist who Found God
(29-12-2016 01:25 PM)PeacefulHeart Wrote:  Hello, everyone. My name is Kathryn and I was an atheist for, at least, 15 years. Very recently, I became a Christian. I’ll get into that in a bit. First, I want to provide some background.

So, as young as age 10, I remember really despising the teachings of the Bible. I was very rebellious and vocal in Sunday school, openly criticizing God and stories like Lot’s wife and Abraham’s son. I said numerous times that, if God were real, I would never worship Him. The stories just seemed so inhumane and backwards that I came to conclude that God and the Bible were entirely fictitious and invented by people who thought morality and decent behavior wasn’t possible without religion, so they had to send fear into everyone with stories of Heaven and Hell. I never had any positive experiences with God. He really seemed to not be there at all. I thought the Christians around me were complete morons, incapable of critical thought for believing the Bible, and merely worshiping out of fear. When I was 14, I called myself an atheist. When I was around 15 or so, I read Richard Dawkins' book The God Delusion. I was very happy someone had put every argument I ever had against Christianity and religion into a book and I walked away for good, pretty much hating religion, but especially Christianity.

Aside from that, I grew up being a loner and a total nerd. Books, computers, science fiction television shows, and card collecting were my life. I did very well in school. I’ve always had a passion for education, learning, and bettering oneself intellectually. I loved math and science (still do). I loved math so much I would ask for extra math homework. I would even beg my teachers to let me skip recess so I could do more schoolwork. Even in elementary school, I enjoyed reading biology textbooks so much more than reading fiction. My dream was to pursue a college degree in every field imaginable and basically spend my life in academia.

So, I went off to college with dreams of studying biochemistry and genetics. I wanted to get a PhD and do epigenetics research. I was really fascinated with understanding how humans differed from one another at the smallest level. I loved this idea that humans are basically biological programs and our code is our DNA. I really wanted to spend my life in a laboratory, in solitude, conducting research that could somehow change everything. That didn’t work out for me though. Although I made great grades and got along well with my professors, early on I started to become incredibly overwhelmed. I felt like I was just mentally breaking down every semester and becoming increasingly unhealthy. I discovered I had Asperger’s Syndrome, now Autism Spectrum Disorder, and, even with accommodations, I was forced to drop out.

This was, to me, the worst thing that could’ve happened. It was my lifelong dream to get a PhD, and, for a while, it was like my world had shattered. I’d never gotten to the point where I just didn’t want to read another scientific article or pick up another chemistry textbook. It was like all of my passion got beaten out of me. A lot of people I knew who were becoming doctors, pursuing their PhD dream, attending top-tier schools, were utterly miserable in college, like myself, and I could see that was the road I was on.

Eventually, I moved on, and became happy I dropped out. I realized it really was for the best and pursued another STEM career. I was also living in this really neat city where almost no one was Christian, surrounded by other really smart people. I had money because my boyfriend had a really good job. There were lots of free activities, neat places to see, fun things to do, lots of shopping, and we traveled. It really seemed like we had everything. But after two years, it began to feel like it was just empty. I wasn’t depressed or anything. I just felt underwhelmed and began to ask myself, “Is this it?”

Then, on my birthday of this year, something completely unexpected happened to me. I had a vision, and I saw the Light of God. I don’t say that figuratively, although I understand if you wouldn’t believe me. I saw God’s Light. It was so pure, clean, and white. It was just glorious and I felt so much truth coming from the Light. Words fail to describe the beauty of what I saw and it was the most beautiful, profound experience of my life. I felt this amazing, amazing peace in my heart as well as forgiveness, love, purity, beauty, kindness. I knew God was this infinite Love and that He was the source of all love in ourselves and in the world. I could see how He stretched on for all eternity and was so much greater than the universe and that He created the universe. Immediately, part of the Bible verse Revelation 1:8 came to mind: “I am the Alpha and the Omega, the Beginning and the End,” says the Lord, “who is and who was and who is to come, the Almighty.”

Anyway, after it happened, I fell to the floor and cried so much. It was the first time I ever felt I was lost without God. I knew how wrong I had been about the God of the Bible. I knew there is nothing bad about God and that He is pure and does everything for an ultimate good.

After that, I found a bunch of other people online who had such incredibly similar experiences that I was certain I wasn’t losing it. There are tons of videos on YouTube of people who’ve seen God, people who've seen Jesus, people with near death experiences who’ve died and went to Heaven, and people who were miraculously healed by God. I watched these and knew I wasn’t alone. I began to pray to God to prove to me if it was really Him, if He was really there, and to show me the way. I hadn’t prayed since I was, maybe, 14, and it felt very strange and awkward. But, God heard me. So many things have happened since, like feeling total joy, feeling complete lack of fear, feeling like I could die and go straight to Heaven because I felt Heaven in my heart. He’s answered all of my prayers and my life and my heart have changed so much.

Some things still remain. I still love learning, science, and education. I’m still pretty liberal. I still think I’m a critical thinker. Now, though, I don’t believe Christians are brainwashed idiots for believing anymore like I used to think. I cry now when someone says they’ll pray for me instead of becoming absolutely furious at what I perceived to be an unhelpful absurdity. I believe there is an afterlife. I feel I’ve come away with some useful understanding because of this experience and I wanted to share it with you. I would love the opportunity to post on the forum. I don’t hate atheists at all. All of my friends, except one, are atheists. My intention is to be respectful and not cross any boundaries. Given that, I think we could have some interesting debates together. Of course, I’m open to any questions you have. If you’ve managed to make it this far, thanks for reading!

Your story jogged a memory and causes me concern. I don't mean to offend you or make light of your experience, but I have read that Aspergers and schizophrenia are linked. I think you should consider that this could be the source of your vision. If you are in college then you are right around the age when it can manifest. I hope that this is not the case.

I too suffer from an autism spectrum disorder and when I was in my 20's I had a reaction to some antibiotics I was taking. I now believe that I experienced schizophrenia for a few days. After a day on the medication I knew something was wrong when I became extremely paranoid and started hallucinating. I thought people around me were out to get me, other drivers on the road were trying to run me off the road when all they were doing was passing me on a four lane road. I chased one driver. I knew something wasn't right and drove home. That night objects in the room were talking to me, telling me that they were evil and I had to destroy them before it was too late. The Grim Reaper appeared, complete with sickle and creepy black cloak. I knew that I must be hallucinating and stopped taking the medication. when I told the doctor what had happened he got white in the face and told me never, ever to take amoxicillin again.

I think you should consult a doctor about this. I wish you the best of good will.

Do not lose your knowledge that man's proper estate is an upright posture, an intransigent mind and a step that travels unlimited roads. - Ayn Rand.

Don't sacrifice for me, live for yourself! - Me

The only alternative to Objectivism is some form of Subjectivism. - Dawson Bethrick
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29-12-2016, 08:08 PM (This post was last modified: 29-12-2016 08:13 PM by SitaSky.)
RE: An Atheist who Found God
(29-12-2016 05:44 PM)PeacefulHeart Wrote:  That's true. I was very glad to find my experience wasn't uncommon. It was a great comfort to me to find stories of people who saw and felt all of the same things. There are other explanations, of course. There always are with these things. I just believe otherwise.

Alien abductions aren't uncommon either..I hate to harp on that but it's the first thing I think of when someone says they had a vision or saw an angel or whatever. Some abductees even have physical proof like scars and implants.

I actually have a few more quesions. I know I've asked a lot already but...well you said you would answer questions so here goes.

Were you "seeking" God when you had the vision? It says in your signature "To find if God is real, just ask Him to show you" so I'm assuming you asked so you were in an already very relaxed and open state ready to feel his presence and have a vision, is that right?

Also for God to show himself to you and others he's destroying your free will, now that you "know" he's real and feel his love and all that you have no choice but to believe in him. He's basically programmed you like a computer, all he needed to do was give you this vision and ta da! A Christian is born! Now that you've felt this incredible divine love would you ever consider rejecting it?

If not, well, you're not in control anymore. He's destroyed your ability to choose him or reject him, he's infiltrated your mind and heart so how is that a good thing? I get if it makes you happy, that's great but it's a little unsettling.

I've heard far too many times that God doesn't do that because you need to choose him first, you need to accept the sacrifice of Jesus on the cross first then he'll reveal himself...so either you did that and then had the vision in which case you were already a Christian or you had the vision and then chose to accept Jesus which makes no sense since why would he do that out of nowhere to a random atheist? You must've been seeking him, which isn't at all extraordinary, it happens all the time to Christians who were already believers.

Really if that is the case, and you weren't already seeking this experience of God then you didn't find God like your thread says, he found you. Apparently he never does that but he made an exception for one random atheist...ok sure.

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29-12-2016, 08:57 PM
RE: An Atheist who Found God
OP you have a very very loose definition of "know".

When valour preys on reason, it eats the sword it fights with.
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29-12-2016, 08:59 PM
RE: An Atheist who Found God
Welcome to TTA. I have Asperger's Syndrome, too.

You seem like an interesting person, so I hope you will stick around.
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29-12-2016, 09:09 PM
RE: An Atheist who Found God
Hmm.

When I was an early teen I saw a vision of Jesus. He gave me comfort and wisdom. I felt connected to him, and to the almighty.

As an adult I don't find this compelling. As someone who is in a STEM field, I know my brain can make that stuff up. It might be perfectly compelling to you, but it's not really evidence of a god.

I do want to welcome you as another woman in a STEM field. I'm finishing up my BS in Civil Engineering this may before going to grad school.
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29-12-2016, 09:24 PM
RE: An Atheist who Found God
I've never had a vision of Jesus. Why does he not like me?
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29-12-2016, 09:25 PM
RE: An Atheist who Found God
Maybe you weren't cute enough
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29-12-2016, 09:35 PM
RE: An Atheist who Found God
(29-12-2016 09:24 PM)Dark Wanderer Wrote:  I've never had a vision of Jesus. Why does he not like me?

He's jealous of your beard Wink
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