An atheist's critique of The Constitution of the United States
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20-12-2011, 12:51 AM (This post was last modified: 20-12-2011 12:58 AM by Buddy Christ.)
An atheist's critique of The Constitution of the United States
I know that the thread title doesn't make any sense, as the Constitution isn't a religious doctrine, but it's a pattern now. Now I have a series of deconstructions. Ta-da!

And also unlike the Bible critique, I won't be aiming to ridicule, but rather to actually learn. The US Constitution is one of the most cited documents used in heated personal liberty discussions. It's also a jumbled grab bag of confusion, written in Olde English and brimming with the pretentious mannerisms of a pompous aristocrat trying to break the world record for verbosity.

From claiming something is their "constitutional right" to declaring an action "unconstitutional," people love to abuse this cornerstone of American government to fit their own agenda. Sound familiar? Perhaps like another unread, yet over-quoted document I've mentioned before? We're going to disassemble this beast into the tongue of the common man, so we can determine which claims are warranted and which ones are complete fabricated bullshit.

Like my other critique, I will be borrowing/stealing pictures and quotes from a lot of other sites, combined, as always, with my own rapist wit. Enjoy.

[Note: This critique is probably intended for Americans... or people who really like tedious scrawlings... or lovers of parchment.]



[Image: 636_Constitution.jpg]



We the People of the United States, in Order to form a more perfect Union, establish Justice, insure domestic Tranquility, provide for the common defence, promote the general Welfare, and secure the Blessings of Liberty to ourselves and our Posterity, do ordain and establish this Constitution for the United States of America.

-The intro, called the Preamble, establishes the basis of American government with its first three words. "We the people" establishes the idea that all government power is derived only from the consent of the people. Then the founding fathers use the rest of the world's longest run-on sentence to simply state, "This is our official government law charter."



Some quick Wikipedia info before I just into Article 1.

"The Constitution was adopted on September 17, 1787, by the Constitutional Convention in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, and ratified by conventions in eleven states in the name of "the People". The first ten amendments to it are known as the Bill of Rights. The Constitution has been amended by the people living under its jurisdiction a total of twenty-seven times. It is the oldest national charter of supreme law in continuous use."

The recognizable authors: James Madison, Ben Franklin, Thomas Jefferson, George Washington, John Adams, Thomas Paine, and a gaggle of other folks.



ARTICLE I

Section 1

All legislative Powers herein granted shall be vested in a Congress of the United States, which shall consist of a Senate and House of Representatives.

-Congress are the only folks who can make laws, and it's divided into two sections; the Senate and the House.



Section 2

The House of Representatives shall be composed of Members chosen every second Year by the People of the several States, and the Electors in each State shall have the Qualifications requisite for Electors of the most numerous Branch of the State Legislature.

No Person shall be a Representative who shall not have attained to the Age of twenty five Years, and been seven Years a Citizen of the United States, and who shall not, when elected, be an Inhabitant of that State in which he shall be chosen.


-Every two years, everyone who is legally eligible to vote can elect someone to represent them in the House. That representative must be at least 25, a US citizen for at least 7 years, and live in the state he is representing.



[Image: house_large_seal.gif]



Representatives and direct Taxes shall be apportioned among the several States which may be included within this Union, according to their respective Numbers, which shall be determined by adding to the whole Number of free Persons, including those bound to Service for a Term of Years, and excluding Indians not taxed, three fifths of all other Persons [and so on for 2 more paragraphs].

-The more people in your state, the more representatives you get. The rest of this section is pretty much obsolete due to amendments, but apparently states should also be taxed proportionately to their population as well. Yeah we... got rid of that. And then there's the part about counting 3/5ths of your slave population towards your total state population... and not counting Indians who don't pay taxes.

America, home of the free! Where all men are created equal. Because 1 = 3/5ths in Constitution math.



Section 3

The Senate of the United States shall be composed of two Senators from each State, chosen by the Legislature thereof for six Years; and each Senator shall have one Vote.

-Two Senators per state, one vote per Senator. We amended the "Senators aren't chosen by the people" part after widespread accusations of corruption in the late nineteenth century.



[Image: senate_large_seal_1.gif]



Immediately after they shall be assembled in Consequence of the first Election, they shall be divided as equally as may be into three Classes. The Seats of the Senators of the first Class shall be vacated at the Expiration of the second Year, of the second Class at the Expiration of the fourth Year, and of the...

-Lots and lots of words just to explain that 1/3rd of the Senate seats will be up for election every 2 years. This keeps fresh people in the Senate and ensures that the whole Senate isn't up for election at the same time.



No Person shall be a Senator who shall not have attained to the Age of thirty Years, and been nine Years a Citizen of the United States, and who shall not, when elected, be an Inhabitant of that State for which he shall be chosen.

-Gotta be 35, a US citizen for 9 years, and living in your state to be a Senator.



The Vice President of the United States shall be President of the Senate, but shall have no Vote, unless they be equally divided.

-The Vice President, aka President of the Senate, only gets to cast a vote in the case of a tie.



The Senate shall chuse their other Officers, and also a President pro tempore, in the Absence of the Vice President, or when he shall exercise the Office of President of the United States.

-Senate can appoint a VP stand-in (Senate President) in the very likely event that the VP doesn't show up.



The Senate shall have the sole Power to try all Impeachments. When sitting for that Purpose, they shall be on Oath or Affirmation. When the President of the United States is tried, the Chief Justice shall preside: And no Person shall be convicted without the Concurrence of two thirds of the Members present.

-"If the House of Representatives votes to impeach any civil officer, the Senate must serve as judge and jury. If two-thirds of the senators vote to convict, the impeached official is removed from office. Twice in American history, the House has brought impeachment charges against sitting presidents—Andrew Johnson in 1868, and Bill Clinton in 1998. In both cases, the Senate voted not to convict, and the impeached presidents served out their full terms of office."




Time to take a break. I'll also throw in the Bill of Rights with the Amendments and such at the end. Now is a good time to tell me if this is a stupid venture.

"Ain't got no last words to say, yellow streak right up my spine. The gun in my mouth was real and the taste blew my mind."

"We see you cry. We turn your head. Then we slap your face. We see you try. We see you fail. Some things never change."
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20-12-2011, 12:54 AM
RE: An atheist's critique of The Constitution of the United States
eehh... go back to your critique of the bible.. we still waiting for revelations... finish that project first before ya tackle The Constitution.. please.. thanks

Those who can make you believe absurdities can make you commit atrocities. -- Voltaire
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20-12-2011, 12:56 AM
RE: An atheist's critique of The Constitution of the United States
(20-12-2011 12:54 AM)ddrew Wrote:  eehh... go back to your critique of the bible.. we still waiting for revelations... finish that project first before ya tackle The Constitution.. please.. thanks

Naw, I already know how that story ends. Tongue
Bring on the Parchment and Tedious Scrawlings, I say!

"All that is necessary for the triumph of Calvinism is that good Atheists do nothing." ~Eric Oh My
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20-12-2011, 12:58 AM
RE: An atheist's critique of The Constitution of the United States
(20-12-2011 12:54 AM)ddrew Wrote:  eehh... go back to your critique of the bible.. we still waiting for revelations... finish that project first before ya tackle The Constitution.. please.. thanks

I... already did Revelation.

And finished the Bible critique. Was it so boring that no one bothered to read it?


It's on Page 19.

"Ain't got no last words to say, yellow streak right up my spine. The gun in my mouth was real and the taste blew my mind."

"We see you cry. We turn your head. Then we slap your face. We see you try. We see you fail. Some things never change."
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20-12-2011, 01:02 AM
RE: An atheist's critique of The Constitution of the United States
(20-12-2011 12:58 AM)Buddy Christ Wrote:  
(20-12-2011 12:54 AM)ddrew Wrote:  eehh... go back to your critique of the bible.. we still waiting for revelations... finish that project first before ya tackle The Constitution.. please.. thanks

I... already did Revelation.

And finished the Bible critique. Was it so boring that no one bothered to read it?


It's on Page 19.

hrmm I musta been drunk and missed it ..... burp

Those who can make you believe absurdities can make you commit atrocities. -- Voltaire
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20-12-2011, 01:04 AM
RE: An atheist's critique of The Constitution of the United States
(20-12-2011 12:58 AM)Buddy Christ Wrote:  
(20-12-2011 12:54 AM)ddrew Wrote:  eehh... go back to your critique of the bible.. we still waiting for revelations... finish that project first before ya tackle The Constitution.. please.. thanks

I... already did Revelation.

And finished the Bible critique. Was it so boring that no one bothered to read it?

I usually will read anything you post, but you lost me at the word "Bible" on that one. Tongue

I'm jazzed about getting some good Constitutional Debate going here.

Let's start with what do the first 3 words REALLY mean? Who is "we"? and more importantly, what are people?

I submit this two minute video as the definitive answer:




"All that is necessary for the triumph of Calvinism is that good Atheists do nothing." ~Eric Oh My
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20-12-2011, 01:30 AM
RE: An atheist's critique of The Constitution of the United States
Loving this new take BC Smile Very educational.
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20-12-2011, 10:58 AM
RE: An atheist's critique of The Constitution of the United States
Dammit. I was all excited to read the whole thing. Then find that you've only gotten in 1 post. Gotta step it up BC.


edit.
Dude you've given 666 likes.

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21-12-2011, 09:31 AM
RE: An atheist's critique of The Constitution of the United States
I like how you are including information about the amendments, I think it will be a less funny and more informative thread. It will be interesting to see where America started and how it got where it is. Constitution wise anyways.

Apparently you aren't playing enough Skyrim anymore.

"I think of myself as an intelligent, sensitive human being with the soul of a clown which always forces me to blow it at the most important moments." -Jim Morrison
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21-12-2011, 10:02 AM
RE: An atheist's critique of The Constitution of the United States
I like to read other peoples views on the constitution. It also helps others to understand what it says. So many Americans are clueless about the constitution. I hope you finish this. Smile

Idiot: : a foolish or stupid person
— idiot adjective
See Republican Candidates.

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