An atheist's critique of the Bible (Book and eBook now available)
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18-11-2011, 07:55 PM
RE: An atheist's critique of the Bible
[Image: biblemorality.jpg?w=400&h=329]

That poster was Very Demotivational. Big Grin

Them things are awesome. Wink

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18-11-2011, 08:01 PM
RE: An atheist's critique of the Bible
Ok, OK... count down...

II Peter

I, II, III John

Jude.........

Then......


PARTY TIME!!!!!

THE REV!

Who can turn skies back and begin again?
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18-11-2011, 08:05 PM
RE: An atheist's critique of the Bible
(17-11-2011 12:46 AM)Erxomai Wrote:  2:2 "And on the seventh day God ended his work which he had made; and he rested on the seventh day from all his work which he had made."

-even though they say that God only "rested" to set an example of how would should rest on the 7th day, couldn't the Bible just say "rest on Sunday" ??(question mark)? It clearly says God rested, which means that this all-powerful being was worn out from all those valleys and hills and Wyoming and platypuses.

Wow, Please don't ever use this argument with a Bible-believing Christan and lose them with your over the top sarcasm. This verse is not about God being tired. It is not even about God "modelling" Sabbath Keeping. God's rest on the 7th day beautifully signifies the completion of God's work. Jesus would have to utter these words again someday because of the Fall, but at that moment in time, God was able to look at his creation and say, "It is finished." His work of creation was perfect and good. And thus, by the way, the reason why Evolution is obviously a tool of the devil. Because God rested and showed his work was done, there can be no such thing as evolution on a macro level and that's why dinosaurs and humans lived together before the Flood.

Here's their version of the fourth commandment. As it is a 4, it falls under my area of expertise. What does it mean?

Spanka monkey!

I mean, ...really. Big Grin

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18-11-2011, 08:14 PM (This post was last modified: 18-11-2011 08:19 PM by Erxomai.)
RE: An atheist's critique of the Bible
(18-11-2011 08:05 PM)houseofcantor Wrote:  
(17-11-2011 12:46 AM)Erxomai Wrote:  2:2 "And on the seventh day God ended his work which he had made; and he rested on the seventh day from all his work which he had made."

-even though they say that God only "rested" to set an example of how would should rest on the 7th day, couldn't the Bible just say "rest on Sunday" ??(question mark)? It clearly says God rested, which means that this all-powerful being was worn out from all those valleys and hills and Wyoming and platypuses.

Wow, Please don't ever use this argument with a Bible-believing Christan and lose them with your over the top sarcasm. This verse is not about God being tired. It is not even about God "modelling" Sabbath Keeping. God's rest on the 7th day beautifully signifies the completion of God's work. Jesus would have to utter these words again someday because of the Fall, but at that moment in time, God was able to look at his creation and say, "It is finished." His work of creation was perfect and good. And thus, by the way, the reason why Evolution is obviously a tool of the devil. Because God rested and showed his work was done, there can be no such thing as evolution on a macro level and that's why dinosaurs and humans lived together before the Flood.

Here's their version of the fourth commandment. As it is a 4, it falls under my area of expertise. What does it mean?

Spanka monkey!

I mean, ...really. Big Grin

I spent my life observing the 4th Commandment each and every Saturday. What would you like to know? It's YHWH's day, but Adonai Elohim is the one that first observed it, and the Son of David said that he was the Boss of the day.

Moses said that you should get stoned if you pick up sticks on the Sabbath. Now I just get stoned for no reason at all.

By the way, the former Pastor Erxomai would have tore that link up for it's improper transference of the Sabbath from the 7th Day to the 1st Day. There is little doubt as to which day Elohim and YHWH blessed. It was the 7th day. All the other days were called "good", but the 7th Day was "blessed." To bless means to endow with special supernatural characteristics. God poured a bit of his power into the Sabbath. You can't just go around changing the day because you want to watch College Football. What about those of us who prefer the NFL? We had to give up Saturday morning cartoons to go to church, but it was worth it to get to watch football on Sundays.

It was just a fucking apple man, we're sorry okay? Please stop the madness Laugh out load
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18-11-2011, 08:25 PM
RE: An atheist's critique of the Bible
(18-11-2011 08:14 PM)Erxomai Wrote:  I spent my life observing the 4th Commandment each and every Saturday. What would you like to know? It's YHWH's day, but Adonai Elohim is the one that first observed it, and the Son of David said that he was the Boss of the day.

Moses said that you should get stoned if you pick up sticks on the Sabbath. Now I just get stoned for no reason at all.

Before I became an atheist, I was seriously considering Judaism. Can't afford it. Big Grin

I'd like to know anything you care to tell me. Wink

With the law of the fractal and self-similarity, the cycles of life and living it on Earth can be seen as work and rest, growth and decay, birth and death. Spanka monkey may seem vulgar, but as Rome wasn't built in a day, sometimes the only solution is to be found by backing away from the problem.

Thanks to evolution, every problem looks a little different after a little... you know. Wink
(18-11-2011 08:14 PM)Erxomai Wrote:  By the way, the former Pastor Erxomai would have tore that link up for it's improper transference of the Sabbath from the 7th Day to the 1st Day.

Dammit, missed that one. Good looking out. Yeah, fuck that link. Big Grin

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18-11-2011, 08:38 PM (This post was last modified: 18-11-2011 08:41 PM by Erxomai.)
RE: An atheist's critique of the Bible
(18-11-2011 08:25 PM)houseofcantor Wrote:  I'd like to know anything you care to tell me. Wink

With the law of the fractal and self-similarity, the cycles of life and living it on Earth can be seen as work and rest, growth and decay, birth and death. Spanka monkey may seem vulgar, but as Rome wasn't built in a day, sometimes the only solution is to be found by backing away from the problem.

Thanks to evolution, every problem looks a little different after a little... you know. Wink

I'm not sure I'm over my PTSD yet.

Consider the child growing up in an Evangelical Ghetto. Already a little different from the other kids in school because he believes in goofy superstitions about a floating Popeye in the Sky. Ah, well, we won't feel too bad about the misdirected tyke, because there are plenty of other Christians in the school that he can join and have their protection from the other gangs in the prison yard. (Ok, so it's really just the playground and there weren't any gangs, but I wanted you to be able to relate your own experience to my Story).

The problem is, this young man goes to church on Saturday so now he is outcast from both the common sense Satan worshiping atheist kids and the "real" Christians who go to church on Sunday.

Now enters evolution. Said young boy grows to be Reverend Erxomai. Reverend Erxomai would like to be progressive and reconcile science with the Bible. The biggest hurdle, however is the 7th day. If God created over millions of millenia instead of in 7 days, then what's the point of the Sabbath? Ah! And if there's no point to the Sabbath, then what's the point of the rest of the book with the cool stick figure drawings in it? Ah ha!

Must go in search of black gungy to hide the hurt...
When I get over my PTSD, I'll come back and tell you what a wonderful gift the Sabbath is.

Oh, and spanka monkey comes in real handy during a Sabbath afternoon nap, after preaching a particularly difficult passage on why did God need to repent of his evil intentions?

It was just a fucking apple man, we're sorry okay? Please stop the madness Laugh out load
~Izel
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18-11-2011, 08:51 PM
RE: An atheist's critique of the Bible
(18-11-2011 08:38 PM)Erxomai Wrote:  Must go in search of black gungy to hide the hurt...
When I get over my PTSD, I'll come back and tell you what a wonderful gift the Sabbath is.

That's what I wanna hear. I disagree with most atheists when they imply that scripture is fiction. It is absurdly easy to show that scripture is the most successful form of human technology. One does not dismiss the past, but rather one learns from the past; elsewise the past becomes the future.

I have found my "happy medium" in expression as a atheist - that I ain't telling other atheists what to do, but rather sharing my understanding - any atheist is entirely free to tell me my understanding is not to be understood. Wink

Gungy? Montreal. I knew a guy, who knew a guy, who knew a guy, who got it off the boat. Wink

Or... Hindu Kush, silk stockings, and patience. Big Grin

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19-11-2011, 04:09 AM
RE: An atheist's critique of the Bible
(13-07-2011 02:10 PM)Buddy Christ Wrote:  16:14 And a certain woman named Lydia, a seller of purple, of the city of Thyatira...

-Finally, a woman not named Mary... and she sells... purple.

Your critique of the bible is brilliant! It's funny as hell...unfortunately now I might have to seek some counseling because of this line you wrote. I can't stop laughing about it, my wife will think I'm nuts when I start laughing every time she wears anything purple.
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19-11-2011, 07:42 AM (This post was last modified: 19-11-2011 08:28 AM by unsapien.)
RE: An atheist's critique of the Bible
(17-11-2011 12:46 AM)Erxomai Wrote:  Cain slays Abel and is "cast out" arbitrarily from one remote location of this empty world to another random remote location. Then he worries that "every one that findeth me shall slay me."

-This is a strange worry since he is 1 of 3 people in existence. Then he sleeps with his wife to start the incestual chain of humanity... but where did his wife come from?

You're obviously not reading the text. Genesis goes on to say that Adam and Eve had other children, including daughters. Don't forget, they lived hundreds of years so the population would have a chance to grow. Yes, it is a bit disconcerting to think that the first couple of generations of humanity had to be incestuous, but there really wasn't any problem then. The "bloodlines" were pure so there was no fear of genetic mutation for 2-3 generations. (Now is your chance to POUNCE on the Bible Believer by pointing out the incest of Noah and his daughters was also done to re-populate the earth. But they were already quite a few generations away from Adam and Eve, so this would clearly lead to genetic problems. Lot and his daughters essentially have the same story later...evidence that many authors had their hand in writing the first 5 books, not just Moses by himself).

I only have a small point here... you seem to accept genetics as a something real. If you do, then if Eve was created out of one of Adam's rib then wouldn't that make Adam & Eve the genetic equivalent of a twin Brother & Sister? So our whole species began with an act of incest!

You know, for some reason, the totally screwed up teachings of the bible would some how make more sense if that were true. Confused
(17-11-2011 12:46 AM)Erxomai Wrote:  Yes, it is a bit disconcerting to think that the first couple of generations of humanity had to be incestuous, but there really wasn't any problem then. The "bloodlines" were pure so there was no fear of genetic mutation for 2-3 generations.

but there really wasn't any problem then. REALLY - I don't know... but if I was left on earth with only my sister and a sheep... I would use my HAND! Screw the human race! (and for those wondering...my sister isn't exactly ugly...and I have worked on a sheep farm...(stop laughing)

I got this same answer from a JW about "pure bloodlines" and my response was: SO God created us perfect..RIGHT! Then in our perfection we thought it best to eat of the tree of (right & wrong,knowledge (insert your translation here),etc...). SOOOOOooooo the JW doesn't come around here that much any more.
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22-11-2011, 01:22 PM
RE: An atheist's critique of the Bible
[Image: 2Peter.jpg]



1:1 Simon Peter, a servant and an apostle of Jesus Christ, to them that have obtained like precious faith with us through the righteousness of God and our Saviour Jesus Christ:

- (SAB) Although this epistle claims to have been written by Peter, he was almost certainly not its author. It is thought to have been written around 90-100 CE, long after Peter's death. The late date is suspected because: 1) verses 3:3-4 make excuses for the failure of the expected second coming of Christ, 2) the author refers to "all of the letters of Paul" in a way that indicates that Paul's epistles were already considered equal to "the other scriptures", and 3) the epistle depends upon the letter of Jude, which is thought to have been written around 80-100 CE.



1:16 For we have not followed cunningly devised fables, when we made known unto you the power and coming of our Lord Jesus Christ, but were eyewitnesses of his majesty.

1:17 For he received from God the Father honour and glory, when there came such a voice to him from the excellent glory, This is my beloved Son, in whom I am well pleased.

1:18 And this voice which came from heaven we heard, when we were with him in the holy mount.


-After Peter reassures his followers that there's no way this is just some made up fairy tale, he brings up "the voice from heaven they heard during the sermon on the mount." You'd think somebody would have mentioned this before if it had actually... you know... happened. I mean if a divine voice is booming instructions from heaven, why the hell is Jesus even speaking. "Voice from sky > Dude in robe" every time.



1:20 Knowing this first, that no prophecy of the scripture is of any private interpretation.

1:21 For the prophecy came not in old time by the will of man: but holy men of God spake as they were moved by the Holy Ghost.


-Attention all atheists. Write this passage down. Every time you hear "that's not what God meant" or "well that's just how things were back then," recite Peter 1:20-21. The scripture is objective and not meant for interpretation, because it wasn't man with his demographic limitations that wrote it, it was God using holy men as vessels to speak through.



2:4 For if God spared not the angels that sinned, but cast them down to hell, and delivered them into chains of darkness, to be reserved unto judgment;

2:5 And spared not the old world, but saved Noah the eighth person, a preacher of righteousness, bringing in the flood upon the world of the ungodly;

2:6 And turning the cities of Sodom and Gomorrha into ashes condemned them with an overthrow, making them an ensample unto those that after should live ungodly;

2:7 And delivered just Lot, vexed with the filthy conversation of the wicked:


-This is the biggest cliffhanger ever. I keep waiting for the payoff. Yeah? What would happen if he hadn't done all that stuff? But it just trails off like some kind of cheap excuse to remind everyone about how God can fuck you up if he wants. And what was that about sinning angels? I thought that was the difference between man and angels, that we were given free will to deny God and angels were sort of the servants of God. But then the whole rebel Lucifer wouldn't make sense. Fucking Bible.



[Image: 297872_10150314406277106_242094627105_82...1199_n.jpg]



2:16 But was rebuked for his iniquity: the dumb ass speaking with man's voice forbad the madness of the prophet.

-In referencing the talking donkey story of the OT, the author coins the term "dumbass" and reveals himself to be one in one fell swoop.



"Peter" tries to explain why Jesus hasn't come back yet.




3:3 Knowing this first, that there shall come in the last days scoffers, walking after their own lusts,

-Anyone who scoffs or mocks the return of Jesus is clearly an evil creature, too blinded by lusts to think clearly.

3:4 And saying, Where is the promise of his coming? for since the fathers fell asleep, all things continue as they were from the beginning of the creation.

-All the prominent figures of Christianity are now dead and yet things remain as they always have. Sort of like the day after a doomsday prediction, people are now openly mocking the seriousness of the loonies.

3:8 But, beloved, be not ignorant of this one thing, that one day is with the Lord as a thousand years, and a thousand years as one day.

-One of my favorite excuses from Christians. Well time is different for God, who exists outside of time. One day to him is 1000 years for us. Well if that's true, then why didn't Jesus come back immediately before one of his magic days passed? Is he planning to make his big entrance 10,000 years from now, when Christianity has been forgotten and filed in the mythology section?
"I'm back, my beloved followers!"
"Who the hell are you?"

3:10 But the day of the Lord will come as a thief in the night; in the which the heavens shall pass away with a great noise, and the elements shall melt with fervent heat, the earth also and the works that are therein shall be burned up.

-So the day the Lord comes back, there will be "fervent heat" and "great noises" and "burning earth." Sounds to me like a perfect reason to start a global nuclear war. All praise be to Allah!

3:15 And account that the longsuffering of our Lord is salvation; even as our beloved brother Paul also according to the wisdom given unto him hath written unto you;

3:16 As also in all his epistles, speaking in them of these things; in which are some things hard to be understood, which they that are unlearned and unstable wrest, as they do also the other scriptures, unto their own destruction.


-Look, Paul's letters are hard to understand. But if you are unlearned and try to decipher his chicken scratch for your own understanding, you do so at your own destruction.

"Ain't got no last words to say, yellow streak right up my spine. The gun in my mouth was real and the taste blew my mind."

"We see you cry. We turn your head. Then we slap your face. We see you try. We see you fail. Some things never change."
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