And the Tony goes to....
Post Reply
 
Thread Rating:
  • 0 Votes - 0 Average
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
19-12-2014, 08:04 PM
RE: And the Tony goes to....
Surely, at some point in your life you used the 'headache excuse?' This would be a perfect time for it.

Atheism is NOT a Religion. It's A Personal Relationship With Reality!
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 3 users Like Minimalist's post
19-12-2014, 09:47 PM
RE: And the Tony goes to....
It's over. I couldn't do my usual cheerful routine. Too grumpy. Blamed it on my screwed up sleep schedule - I've been awake since 1 am. But I sang like an angel and bowed my head and dropped the obligatory "god has a plan"...

I managed to steer the conversation to kindergarten stories away from racist talk. I smiled politely and shrugged when asked when we were having our next child. I couldn't hold my tongue when they started talking about insurance vs socialized medicine. Must learn to keep my mouth shut.
But I didn't curse - not even once!!!

As far as sobriety - Dry county. They don't drink. It would be easy to smell alcohol on my breath when singing. Nowhere to pee anyway. Ick - who drinks nonalcoholic eggnog? Didn't even have cellphone reception half the time cause I'm in BFE (for those of you with English as a second language BFE=bum fuck Egypt= middle of nowhere).

Apparently there was drama last year and we only had half the group there, but at least they were the more civilized bunch. Although, one of the cousins was wearing an Alabama shirt - WTF? Sacrilege. He didn't even go to Bama. His oldest sister is the only one - every college educated member of the family went to Auburn.


I honestly thought my family was normal and functional until I was 20. I don't know how I turned out to be half as sane as I am, cause my family is fucking crazy.

"If there's a single thing that life teaches us, it's that wishing doesn't make it so." - Lev Grossman
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 2 users Like Nurse's post
19-12-2014, 09:49 PM
RE: And the Tony goes to....
(19-12-2014 08:04 PM)Minimalist Wrote:  Surely, at some point in your life you used the 'headache excuse?' This would be a perfect time for it.

I missed the last two Christmas dinners, caroling, and Thanksgivings due to work. And my brother didn't go. So I took one for the team.

"If there's a single thing that life teaches us, it's that wishing doesn't make it so." - Lev Grossman
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
19-12-2014, 10:13 PM
RE: And the Tony goes to....
(19-12-2014 05:04 PM)Nurse Wrote:  Tonight's performance will star Nurse struggling to sing lead soprano while caroling with the step family, as she is a second soprano but the other women are altos and tenors. She will pretend to be a Christian wife with no opinion and that she's in a loving marriage where they both give a damn about each other. There will be humor in the form of cheesy preacher jokes and not one curse word will be uttered. The conversation themes will be pro Murica we're number 1, homos, illegals (Mexicans - cause all brown people are from Mexico), Christian persecution, when Nurse is going to have a baby girl (not gonna happen...), great aunt Fannie's great great grand-baby marrying so-n-so that doesn't go to the right church, and end times. Nurse will deliver a performance lacking wit and sarcasm and be completely fucking sober.

There may be epic ranting in a few hours.

I don't think I've ever heard a woman tenor. Rolleyes
Can't believe it's a whole year since I faked it subbing for my friend singing "The Heavens Are Telling". I get a coughing fit if I sing temor.

Insufferable know-it-all.Einstein God has a plan for us. Please stop screwing it up with your prayers.
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 1 user Likes Bucky Ball's post
19-12-2014, 10:33 PM
RE: And the Tony goes to....
(19-12-2014 09:47 PM)Nurse Wrote:  It's over. I couldn't do my usual cheerful routine. Too grumpy. Blamed it on my screwed up sleep schedule - I've been awake since 1 am. But I sang like an angel and bowed my head and dropped the obligatory "god has a plan"...

I managed to steer the conversation to kindergarten stories away from racist talk. I smiled politely and shrugged when asked when we were having our next child. I couldn't hold my tongue when they started talking about insurance vs socialized medicine. Must learn to keep my mouth shut.
But I didn't curse - not even once!!!

As far as sobriety - Dry county. They don't drink. It would be easy to smell alcohol on my breath when singing. Nowhere to pee anyway. Ick - who drinks nonalcoholic eggnog? Didn't even have cellphone reception half the time cause I'm in BFE (for those of you with English as a second language BFE=bum fuck Egypt= middle of nowhere).

Apparently there was drama last year and we only had half the group there, but at least they were the more civilized bunch. Although, one of the cousins was wearing an Alabama shirt - WTF? Sacrilege. He didn't even go to Bama. His oldest sister is the only one - every college educated member of the family went to Auburn.


I honestly thought my family was normal and functional until I was 20. I don't know how I turned out to be half as sane as I am, cause my family is fucking crazy.

Congratulations on not murdering anyone, hope everyone appreciated your self-control.

“I am quite sure now that often, very often, in matters concerning religion and politics a man’s reasoning powers are not above the monkey’s.”~Mark Twain
“Ocean: A body of water occupying about two-thirds of a world made for man - who has no gills.”~ Ambrose Bierce
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 1 user Likes Full Circle's post
19-12-2014, 10:57 PM
RE: And the Tony goes to....
(19-12-2014 10:13 PM)Bucky Ball Wrote:  
(19-12-2014 05:04 PM)Nurse Wrote:  Tonight's performance will star Nurse struggling to sing lead soprano while caroling with the step family, as she is a second soprano but the other women are altos and tenors. She will pretend to be a Christian wife with no opinion and that she's in a loving marriage where they both give a damn about each other. There will be humor in the form of cheesy preacher jokes and not one curse word will be uttered. The conversation themes will be pro Murica we're number 1, homos, illegals (Mexicans - cause all brown people are from Mexico), Christian persecution, when Nurse is going to have a baby girl (not gonna happen...), great aunt Fannie's great great grand-baby marrying so-n-so that doesn't go to the right church, and end times. Nurse will deliver a performance lacking wit and sarcasm and be completely fucking sober.

There may be epic ranting in a few hours.

I don't think I've ever heard a woman tenor. Rolleyes
Can't believe it's a whole year since I faked it subbing for my friend singing "The Heavens Are Telling". I get a coughing fit if I sing temor.

I've heard a lot women who I wish would sing tenor - ten or fifteen miles away... Tongue

"I feel as though the camera is almost a kind of voyeur in Mr. Beans life, and you just watch this bizarre man going about his life in the way that he wants to."

-Rowan Atkinson
Find all posts by this user
Like Post Quote this message in a reply
[+] 2 users Like Can_of_Beans's post
Post Reply
Forum Jump: