Another apologetic, made up, sob story making the rounds
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08-07-2014, 02:36 PM
Another apologetic, made up, sob story making the rounds
My family thinks this kind of made-up crap is perfectly worthy and acceptable to pass around Rainbow Vomit

"My name is God. You hardly have time for me. I love you and will always bless you. I am always with you. I need you to spend 30 minutes of your time with Me today. Don't pray, just praise. Today, I want this message to go across the world before midnight. Will you help? Please do not cut it and I'll help you with something that you are in need of. Just dare Me! A blessing is coming your way. Please drop everything & pass it on. Tomorrow will be the best day of your life. Why do we feel sleepy in prayer, but stay awake through a 3 hour movie? Why are we so bored when we look at the HOLY BOOK but find it easy to read other books? Why is it so easy to ignore a message about God, yet we forward the nasty ones? Why are prayers getting smaller, but bars and clubs are expanding? Why is it so easy to worship a celebrity, but very difficult to engage with God? Think about it, are you going to forward this or are you going to ignore it because you think you will get laughed at? Forward this to all your friends. 80% of you won't. God said if you deny me in front of your friends, I will deny you on the day of judgment. When one door closes , God opens two. If God has opened doors for you, send this message to everyone. God has no BLACKBERRY but he's my favorite contact. He is not on FACEBOOK but he is my best friend. He is not on TWITTER but I still follow Him, and even without the INTERNET I am always connected to him. He is not on gmail but he's always online. Forward if God's been good to you!

Have a great day!"

Weeping

“I am quite sure now that often, very often, in matters concerning religion and politics a man’s reasoning powers are not above the monkey’s.”~Mark Twain
“Ocean: A body of water occupying about two-thirds of a world made for man - who has no gills.”~ Ambrose Bierce
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08-07-2014, 02:45 PM
RE: Another apologetic, made up, sob story making the rounds
(08-07-2014 02:36 PM)Full Circle Wrote:  Think about it, are you going to forward this or are you going to ignore it because you think you will get laughed at? Forward this to all your friends. 80% of you won't. God said if you deny me in front of your friends, I will deny you on the day of judgment. [random crap] Forward if God's been good to you!

Facepalm

First off I can't remember a quote like that. Pretty sure God said something like "I will cause a holy fucking reign of terror and no one will be safe, even those who think they're safe 'cos they kowtowed to me all the fucking time, I will shit upon them from a mighty height with molten lava. Verily. It shall be fucking nuts."

Secondly, I see good ol' God is so fucken useless that he has to rely on chain letters as a salvation delivery system these days.

With a few threats added for good measure - the more things change the more they remain the same.

Weeping

We'll love you just the way you are
If you're perfect -- Alanis Morissette
(06-02-2014 03:47 PM)Momsurroundedbyboys Wrote:  And I'm giving myself a conclusion again from all the facepalming.
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08-07-2014, 02:47 PM
RE: Another apologetic, made up, sob story making the rounds
It is just a grouping of appeals to the personal nature of god. This only seems ridiculous to us because we don't view god as personal or relevant in our lives.

I also noticed there was a little classic guilt in there as well. Why don't you read your bible? Why don't you pray? Why is god not the most exciting and interesting thing your life? There are appeals to religious values. Reverence is a good thing, dedication is a good thing, passionate worship is a good thing. Most people aren't doing that all the time and this goads them into doing it more often. Just a modern take on a very old message.
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08-07-2014, 02:48 PM
RE: Another apologetic, made up, sob story making the rounds
And the award for most oblivious deity goes to....

[Image: giphy.gif]
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08-07-2014, 03:16 PM
RE: Another apologetic, made up, sob story making the rounds
"YOU! Why are you watching that movie instead of talking to me!? 'Stuff actually happens when I watch the movie'!? You little heretic! C'mere, we're going to sit down and spend time toge-what are you doing? What do you mean, 'Something interesting happened at work today'? I hear a distinct lack of my name, compliments and thankfulness for not killing you in that sentence! On your knees, yeah like that, I want that forehead touching the floor! That's better! Now, why haven't you- DID I SAY STOP COMPLIMENTING?! Where was I? Oh yeah, why haven't you read my book in the past week? What do you mean it's a horrible, confusing tale full of plot holes and terrible people that quite frankly isn't very interesting to begin with? You don't know what you're talking about, my work is great, no, it's fantastic, no, it's PERFECT! Don't you agree!? While you answer let me just hover my hand over my 'Send person in the room to Hell' button...Oh, you do agree? Of course you do! Now, go out and tell more people how amazing I am! DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT! And I don't want to ever see you doing anything entertaining ever again, you hear me!? EVER AGAIN!

Love you, have a nice day! Big Grin "
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08-07-2014, 03:19 PM
RE: Another apologetic, made up, sob story making the rounds
Quote:"My name is God.
Oh... so why didn't you just tell Moses that instead of all the "I am what I am" crap?

Quote:You hardly have time for me.
Guilty as charged. When something doesn't exist, I tend not to spend time on it. Funny how that works.

Quote:I love you and will always bless you. I am always with you.
Damn creepy! Get away! I said I don't have time for you. Dodgy

Quote:I need you to spend 30 minutes of your time with Me today. Don't pray, just praise.
30 minutes? Sigh... well ok... as long as there's no prayer. So who would you like to praise with me? How about those soccer stars in the World Cup? Consider

Quote:Today, I want this message to go across the world before midnight. Will you help?
Make up your mind! I thought we were praising people here! Angry You only have 29 minutes left.

Quote:Please do not cut it and I'll help you with something that you are in need of.
Too late. The cheese is already cut. Blush I guess that means you won't help me? Ohmy

Quote:Just dare Me!
I'd rather have the truth. Don't you know how that game works? You're God for Christ's (sorry) Pete's sake!

Quote:A blessing is coming your way. Please drop everything & pass it on. Tomorrow will be the best day of your life.
Yeah, I'm not holding my breath.

Quote:Why do we feel sleepy in prayer, but stay awake through a 3 hour movie? Why are we so bored when we look at the HOLY BOOK but find it easy to read other books? Why is it so easy to ignore a message about God, yet we forward the nasty ones? Why are prayers getting smaller, but bars and clubs are expanding? Why is it so easy to worship a celebrity, but very difficult to engage with God? Think about it, are you going to forward this or are you going to ignore it because you think you will get laughed at? Forward this to all your friends. 80% of you won't. God said if you deny me in front of your friends, I will deny you on the day of judgment. When one door closes , God opens two. If God has opened doors for you, send this message to everyone. God has no BLACKBERRY but he's my favorite contact. He is not on FACEBOOK but he is my best friend. He is not on TWITTER but I still follow Him, and even without the INTERNET I am always connected to him. He is not on gmail but he's always online. Forward if God's been good to you!
I'd reply to the rest of this, but like I said. I don't have time for you. And you got way to defensive. Chill! And you started talking about yourself in the 3rd person. That's just weird. Dodgy

I am not accountable to any God. I am accountable to myself - and not because I think I am God as some theists would try to assert - but because, no matter what actions I take, thoughts I think, or words I utter, I have to be able to live with myself.
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08-07-2014, 03:21 PM
RE: Another apologetic, made up, sob story making the rounds
[Image: images?q=tbn:ANd9GcSmCkoZTZ2DlfO5wWsh5_y...8UVA4ANWr4]

Gods derive their power from post-hoc rationalizations. -The Inquisition

Using the supernatural to explain events in your life is a failure of the intellect to comprehend the world around you. -The Inquisition
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08-07-2014, 03:25 PM
RE: Another apologetic, made up, sob story making the rounds
(08-07-2014 02:36 PM)Full Circle Wrote:  My family thinks this kind of made-up crap is perfectly worthy and acceptable to pass around Rainbow Vomit

"My name is God. You hardly have time for me. I love you and will always bless you. I am always with you. I need you to spend 30 minutes of your time with Me today. Don't pray, just praise. Today, I want this message to go across the world before midnight. Will you help? Please do not cut it and I'll help you with something that you are in need of. Just dare Me! A blessing is coming your way. Please drop everything & pass it on. Tomorrow will be the best day of your life. Why do we feel sleepy in prayer, but stay awake through a 3 hour movie? Why are we so bored when we look at the HOLY BOOK but find it easy to read other books? Why is it so easy to ignore a message about God, yet we forward the nasty ones? Why are prayers getting smaller, but bars and clubs are expanding? Why is it so easy to worship a celebrity, but very difficult to engage with God? Think about it, are you going to forward this or are you going to ignore it because you think you will get laughed at? Forward this to all your friends. 80% of you won't. God said if you deny me in front of your friends, I will deny you on the day of judgment. When one door closes , God opens two. If God has opened doors for you, send this message to everyone. God has no BLACKBERRY but he's my favorite contact. He is not on FACEBOOK but he is my best friend. He is not on TWITTER but I still follow Him, and even without the INTERNET I am always connected to him. He is not on gmail but he's always online. Forward if God's been good to you!

Have a great day!"

Weeping

Sounds highly autobiographical to me. How does this person presume to know what others do and do not do.

God is right there in her imagination.

Do not lose your knowledge that man's proper estate is an upright posture, an intransigent mind and a step that travels unlimited roads. - Ayn Rand.

Don't sacrifice for me, live for yourself! - Me

The only alternative to Objectivism is some form of Subjectivism. - Dawson Bethrick
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08-07-2014, 03:54 PM
RE: Another apologetic, made up, sob story making the rounds
God is upset that people aren't reading the Bible? That must be aimed at Christians, since atheists know that book far better than they do. I don't know why God would want them to read it though. The more somebody reads the Bible, the more likely they are to become atheist.

“Religion was invented when the first con man met the first fool.” - Mark Twain
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08-07-2014, 06:45 PM
RE: Another apologetic, made up, sob story making the rounds
"Hi, I am your cock. You hardly have any time for me. You use to love me. I need you to spend 30 minutes with me today. Will you ? Please don't cut me off and I'll help you with something you need. Please drop everything you are doing and take me in your hand. Tomorrow will be awesome if you do this today. Why do you feel sleepy after touching me ? Why do you often ignore my needs ? When was the last time you accidentally sent a dick pic to all your friends ? Are you afraid you will be laughed at ? Do it now. 80% of you won't. If you deny me in front of your friends, I will deny you in front of your gf, bf, spouse or favorite hooker. If I've been good to you, then share me with all your friends.

Have a great day !!!

Insanity - doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results
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