Anti-thiest dating a Muslim woman - Is it a good idea?
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20-12-2015, 05:43 PM
Anti-thiest dating a Muslim woman - Is it a good idea?
Hello all,

I have been dating a Muslim woman for the past 10 months, we met at university in the UK and she has now moved back to South East Asia as her visa expired. We are in a long distance relationship now but I plan to visit her in the summertime.

Living away from her family while at university in Europe she seemed to me as a casual Muslim. She drank a little bit of alcohol, ate a little bit of pork, didn't wear a hijab, we had sex etc.

We spoke a bit about religion and I asked her why she believed in Islam and broke down why it wasn't logical etc. She seemed to listen but did not take things on board or accept what I had to say and later told me that she doesn't like how I am anti-religion although accepts me as an atheist.

She also said that she is unsure that in the future if she would prefer to date a Muslim man and told me about how I might have to convert to Islam to appease her parents if we were to marry each other in the future (theoretically, we don't intend to get married anytime soon).

We like each other a lot and have shared some amazing experiences together, however I worry about if it is a good idea to continue with her. We might be prolonging disaster down the road when our parents find out (neither know yet) and the religious conflicts involved.

What do you think?

"Rather than love, than money, than fame, give me truth." - Henry David Thoreau
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20-12-2015, 05:56 PM
RE: Anti-thiest dating a Muslim woman - Is it a good idea?
(20-12-2015 05:43 PM)TheLogicalAthiest Wrote:  Hello all,

I have been dating a Muslim woman for the past 10 months, we met at university in the UK and she has now moved back to South East Asia as her visa expired. We are in a long distance relationship now but I plan to visit her in the summertime.

Living away from her family while at university in Europe she seemed to me as a casual Muslim. She drank a little bit of alcohol, ate a little bit of pork, didn't wear a hijab, we had sex etc.

We spoke a bit about religion and I asked her why she believed in Islam and broke down why it wasn't logical etc. She seemed to listen but did not take things on board or accept what I had to say and later told me that she doesn't like how I am anti-religion although accepts me as an atheist.

She also said that she is unsure that in the future if she would prefer to date a Muslim man and told me about how I might have to convert to Islam to appease her parents if we were to marry each other in the future (theoretically, we don't intend to get married anytime soon).

We like each other a lot and have shared some amazing experiences together, however I worry about if it is a good idea to continue with her. We might be prolonging disaster down the road when our parents find out (neither know yet) and the religious conflicts involved.

What do you think?

Put her in the friend zone; there is no long-term future there. Drinking Beverage

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Science is not a subject, but a method.
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20-12-2015, 06:19 PM
RE: Anti-thiest dating a Muslim woman - Is it a good idea?
What Chas said.

NOTE: Member, Tomasia uses this site to slander other individuals. He then later proclaims it a joke, but not in public.
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20-12-2015, 06:20 PM
RE: Anti-thiest dating a Muslim woman - Is it a good idea?
Just remember when the time comes that she has already told you that you'd have to become Muslim to marry. But remember if you do you have the right to beat her if it becomes appropriate!
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20-12-2015, 06:31 PM
RE: Anti-thiest dating a Muslim woman - Is it a good idea?
I would reread each and every post in the personal issues section on the heartache atheists who are married to theists go through and view each and every one of them as a cautionary tale. If you are not planning on converting, you are potentially setting yourself and your theist wife up for a lot of future heartache and disagreements on how to raise children and how to handle any other marital or life issues that may arise.

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20-12-2015, 06:48 PM
RE: Anti-thiest dating a Muslim woman - Is it a good idea?
It depends on how important your atheism is to you. Atheism is not very important to me although I could never be married to a radical theist. If my wife were a believer it wouldn't bother me a bit as long as she didn't beat me over the head with it. I am an atheist but it sure as hell isn't my entire self identity or my life. I could even be married to a Republican although that would be harder than being married to a theist.
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21-12-2015, 09:17 AM
RE: Anti-thiest dating a Muslim woman - Is it a good idea?
What Chas and Banjo said...

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21-12-2015, 09:45 AM
RE: Anti-thiest dating a Muslim woman - Is it a good idea?
(20-12-2015 05:43 PM)TheLogicalAthiest Wrote:  Hello all,

I have been dating a Muslim woman for the past 10 months, we met at university in the UK and she has now moved back to South East Asia as her visa expired. We are in a long distance relationship now but I plan to visit her in the summertime.

Living away from her family while at university in Europe she seemed to me as a casual Muslim. She drank a little bit of alcohol, ate a little bit of pork, didn't wear a hijab, we had sex etc.

We spoke a bit about religion and I asked her why she believed in Islam and broke down why it wasn't logical etc. She seemed to listen but did not take things on board or accept what I had to say and later told me that she doesn't like how I am anti-religion although accepts me as an atheist.

She also said that she is unsure that in the future if she would prefer to date a Muslim man and told me about how I might have to convert to Islam to appease her parents if we were to marry each other in the future (theoretically, we don't intend to get married anytime soon).

We like each other a lot and have shared some amazing experiences together, however I worry about if it is a good idea to continue with her. We might be prolonging disaster down the road when our parents find out (neither know yet) and the religious conflicts involved.

What do you think?

She has laid down the conditions of your acceptance into her life and her family. You have set down your conviction of being anti-theist. She has moved back to a country you might be in danger if you remain atheist. Your question is already answered. Your future with her is a path riddled with disaster.

I think your looking for release from guilt for making the decision you've already made. There's no reason for guilt. You had a moment in time where you and she enjoyed each other and made each other happy. That is a wonderful memory to carry. Don't let it turn to a nightmare.

I'm sorry for your heartbreak and hers but a clean cut heals the fastest. Peace.

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21-12-2015, 12:22 PM
RE: Anti-thiest dating a Muslim woman - Is it a good idea?
Yeah this seems obvious. It's one thing as an anti-theist to see a girl who is slightly religious, but doesn't impose her beliefs on others. It's another thing to see a girl who wants you to convert, lives in a different country, and has already said she doesn't like your anti-theism.

As an anti-theist, I know I couldn't be with a girl who practiced religion. I would either have to shut up about my thoughts and feelings about religion, or possibly hurt her feelings when I expressed my opinion about what she considers sacred. Plus, it would drive me absolutely NUTS if she made any major decisions based on religious influence. Especially if kids were involved.

Tell her it was fun while it lasted.

I prefer fantasy, but I have to live in reality.
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21-12-2015, 12:53 PM
RE: Anti-thiest dating a Muslim woman - Is it a good idea?
She has already told you what the future brings.

So many relationships fail because people fail to take such things seriously or think they can change the other person.

If you want to become Muslim and pray to Mecca every day of your life, go ahead.

If you don't want that, just become friends.

[Image: dobie.png]Science is the process we've designed to be responsible for generating our best guess as to what the fuck is going on. Girly Man
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