Anxiety, Relationships, and Secular Therapy
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25-04-2016, 10:45 PM
Anxiety, Relationships, and Secular Therapy
So, I've come to believe that I have some form of anxiety disorder. As someone who's done a little bit of casual psychology, I know how bad of an idea "self diagnosis" is. But, I've had a lot of problems the past few months since a close friend of mine took his life, and it's just ended a great relationship with someone I care deeply for...

I am way too obsessed with others' perceptions of me. I'll wait to take out my trash at 2-3 AM because I'm worried about the people in my apartment complex seeing beer bottles in the trash, and think negatively of me. I'll sometimes skip going to places to take care of important personal matters because I am so nervous about actually going into an unfamiliar place. My relationship just ended because I couldn't stop explaining myself over and over and over to my partner, and she couldn't stand it anymore. These things are just the tip of the iceberg of the issues I have... This isn't me... it's never been like me to do these things, and it's really screwing up my life.

I need help finding some resources for secular therapists/counselors/mental health professionals in my area... I remember hearing of a website a while back that does just this. I couldn't find it though.

The part that really tears me up is it has strained my relationship with the woman I care about to the point that we had a 4.5 hour cry-argument a few days ago. Thankfully, she and I are still friends after, and talked today acknowledging that what was said needed to be said. But now there's such a gulf between us romantically that I am really worried if I can even repair the damage that I've done. I want to accept responsibility for my mistakes, but looking more into all of this and really facing the music of the irrational, silly, and stupid things I do out of irrational fears and insecurities... I don't feel like I'm fully to blame, here.

I know I'll have to talk to her about this if I want any hope of repairing the damage I've caused. I'm just in such a shaky and unstable frame of mind, and have been the past several months, that i honestly don't know what to do, and don't want to approach the topic yet until I get some help.

I just need some advice on what to do, here. I want to seek out some form of therapy and get relief from this. I want to repair what damage It's caused in my life. I just don't know where to begin, and I have to deal with this on top of so many other important life decisions getting ready to roll my way within the next month or two. I'm feeling so overwhelmed.
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26-04-2016, 12:29 AM
RE: Anxiety, Relationships, and Secular Therapy
As someone who suffers from a generalised anxiety disorder (GAD) I'd recommend seeing a psychologist initially (for talking therapy, rather than drug therapy) in order to get some sort of formal diagnosis. As you suggest, self-diagnosis can be a risky thing.

One of the more common and effective therapies is known as cognitive behavioural therapy, or CBT, which you can read about HERE for an overview, and HERE for a more technical paper. If you Google cognitive bt+usa you should get some more localised results.

If necessary, there are specific drug regimes (such as Alprazolam for example) that'll reduce anxiety levels, although for anxiety, CBT is normally the first preference, and has a high success rate of some 90+%.

And please note I am NOT a medical professional.

Please feel free to PM me if you like; I'll be back tomorrow. Smile

I'm a creationist... I believe that man created God.
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26-04-2016, 05:35 AM
RE: Anxiety, Relationships, and Secular Therapy
https://www.seculartherapy.org/

This may be a website source you could use and perhaps is the one you heard of previously. I've sorta used it, i messaged through it to a couple therapists but never went to actually make an appointment to them directly, it seems to be able to help though relieve some of the added stress of not knowing if that therapists will have some undertones of religious implications at least.

"Allow there to be a spectrum in all that you see" - Neil Degrasse Tyson
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26-04-2016, 05:38 AM
RE: Anxiety, Relationships, and Secular Therapy
(25-04-2016 10:45 PM)Gnosis Wrote:  So, I've come to believe that I have some form of anxiety disorder. As someone who's done a little bit of casual psychology, I know how bad of an idea "self diagnosis" is. But, I've had a lot of problems the past few months since a close friend of mine took his life, and it's just ended a great relationship with someone I care deeply for...

I am way too obsessed with others' perceptions of me. I'll wait to take out my trash at 2-3 AM because I'm worried about the people in my apartment complex seeing beer bottles in the trash, and think negatively of me. I'll sometimes skip going to places to take care of important personal matters because I am so nervous about actually going into an unfamiliar place. My relationship just ended because I couldn't stop explaining myself over and over and over to my partner, and she couldn't stand it anymore. These things are just the tip of the iceberg of the issues I have... This isn't me... it's never been like me to do these things, and it's really screwing up my life.

I need help finding some resources for secular therapists/counselors/mental health professionals in my area... I remember hearing of a website a while back that does just this. I couldn't find it though.

The part that really tears me up is it has strained my relationship with the woman I care about to the point that we had a 4.5 hour cry-argument a few days ago. Thankfully, she and I are still friends after, and talked today acknowledging that what was said needed to be said. But now there's such a gulf between us romantically that I am really worried if I can even repair the damage that I've done. I want to accept responsibility for my mistakes, but looking more into all of this and really facing the music of the irrational, silly, and stupid things I do out of irrational fears and insecurities... I don't feel like I'm fully to blame, here.

I know I'll have to talk to her about this if I want any hope of repairing the damage I've caused. I'm just in such a shaky and unstable frame of mind, and have been the past several months, that i honestly don't know what to do, and don't want to approach the topic yet until I get some help.

I just need some advice on what to do, here. I want to seek out some form of therapy and get relief from this. I want to repair what damage It's caused in my life. I just don't know where to begin, and I have to deal with this on top of so many other important life decisions getting ready to roll my way within the next month or two. I'm feeling so overwhelmed.

I'm sorry you're having these health issues. I hope you can find some treatment that will work for you. I don't know where you are but there are national secular sites that might be able to point you in the right direction for a therapists.

However, I have used a therapist that is not secular off and on for 5yrs now and she's great. She was recommended to me and when I set up the appointment I stated that I was atheist and did not want to have religion injected into my therapy and would this be a problem. She said absolutely not. She has been true to her words. Just saying don't discount the therapist who see their job as helping you, not helping you find god. A real professional therapist is a great find.

I happen to know mine is Catholic but we never discuss religion or god except for the one time I explained my position on belief. Even then she kept her own opinions to herself. So good therapists can be found and religion is not the foundation of therapy. Hope you can get what you need to feel better and live a quality life. Smile

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26-04-2016, 05:49 PM
RE: Anxiety, Relationships, and Secular Therapy
@Heatheness: Thanks. Yeah, I know that those who are religious can very much so still be very qualified mental health professionals. I was moreso preferring to find someone in my area whom i didn't have to worry about undergoing that process of explaining belief and worrying that what I said about beliefs, should the topic arise, was being criticized silently. It isn't a strict requirement, not by any means.

@Clyde: Thanks for the resource. I'll check it out.

@SYZ: Thanks for the response. I was planning to find a psychologist and see about cognitively working through the problems should a diagnosis be made, as opposed to resorting to medication right away. I'll keep the info about CBT in my back pocket.
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